When I was growing up as a kid, I would watch the movie 'Hook' a lot, the one with Robin Williams. I saw peter pan as a kid who never grew up and I never wanted to grow up, because people die when they get old. It exacerbated the fear of death (which we all have). This got embedded quite deep into my brain, I would watch this movie every day. Each time I was reinforcing that I didn't want to die, I wanted to be young forever. I would think of strategies to try and stay young forever. I would act the same young, and being the youngest in the year, it was always reinforced around me. I didn't want to grow tall, I wanted to be the same age forever. Today at 25 I have this fear embedded deep in my subconscious. All the decisions I make are in an effort to always be young, to avoid death as much as possible. My life has evolved around this. I never went to any funerals, I would avoid the subject on every level. I'm terrified of it deep down. My environment would always reinforce this, I would get teased for being a baby, I needed help from my environment buy i'd always tell people to treat me like that subconsciously. I don't let myself rest, I don't allow myself to get deep sleep. It's a shame that I watched that movie. It made me react to something that didn't need reacting to. As a kid, I expected myself to have perfect judgement. I guess I will try to reprogram my subconscious with affirmations that are for death acceptance and see what will happen.