Getting something off my chest [Fear of Death]

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by Thechosenone, Jun 23, 2019.

  1. Thechosenone

    Thechosenone Fapstronaut

    When I was growing up as a kid, I would watch the movie 'Hook' a lot, the one with Robin Williams.

    I saw peter pan as a kid who never grew up and I never wanted to grow up, because people die when they get old. It exacerbated the fear of death (which we all have).

    This got embedded quite deep into my brain, I would watch this movie every day. Each time I was reinforcing that I didn't want to die, I wanted to be young forever. I would think of strategies to try and stay young forever. I would act the same young, and being the youngest in the year, it was always reinforced around me. I didn't want to grow tall, I wanted to be the same age forever.

    Today at 25 I have this fear embedded deep in my subconscious. All the decisions I make are in an effort to always be young, to avoid death as much as possible. My life has evolved around this.

    I never went to any funerals, I would avoid the subject on every level. I'm terrified of it deep down.

    My environment would always reinforce this, I would get teased for being a baby, I needed help from my environment buy i'd always tell people to treat me like that subconsciously.

    I don't let myself rest, I don't allow myself to get deep sleep.

    It's a shame that I watched that movie. It made me react to something that didn't need reacting to. As a kid, I expected myself to have perfect judgement.

    I guess I will try to reprogram my subconscious with affirmations that are for death acceptance and see what will happen.
  2. elevate

    elevate Fapstronaut

    There's more than just old age that can possibly lead to death.

    Young people can die too.

    It's going to happen someday and somehow. It happens all over the world to all living creatures whether we want to ignore it or not. From the moment of birth we are marching towards death.

    You can't control it. You're not immortal. You're not a god. Thinking that you can control it is just delusional and a waste of life. The stress itself is making your life shorter. Overthinking about death is ironically getting you closer to death and wasting the lifespan that you do have. The lack of sleep is shortening your life as well.

    You can either continue to resist the fact that you're going to die like any other living creature and waste your life or you can let go of that control and focus on making the most of the limited time you have to be alive.

    Most of the time it's not really death or the pain of dying that people fear. It's the uncertainty of what happens after death.

    It's not just death. Humans have very little control in the face of the chaos within time / space / society / life / people.
  3. backtolife42

    backtolife42 Fapstronaut

    If you are afraid of death and want to tackle this fear, you should probably just start exposing yourself to things you are afraid of, for example visite a graveyard, attend a funeral pr even go to a paliative-care center.
    I suspect that there are probably some other underlying causes for this fear that you should try to figure out. But you identified one problem so thats a good start!
  4. Pointlessaccount

    Pointlessaccount Fapstronaut

    One cure for this might be to think about the things you grew up with. The music, the evolving technology, films and TV, fashions, just memories of all kinds.

    You were around for all that cool stuff! If you were to be suddenly ten years old or whatever, you would have missed all those things you love. Sure you might discover some of those things anyway, but it's not quite the same.
  5. drac16

    drac16 Fapstronaut

    I invite you to accept the teachings of Christ, found in the Bible. He conquered death. If you're in Christ, the moment that you take your last breath, your next breath will be taken in Heaven. :)
  6. jarvyjarvison

    jarvyjarvison Fapstronaut

    Sounds like thanatophobia - an irrational fear of death. Talk to a therapist.
  7. shlama_001

    shlama_001 Fapstronaut

    “But [God’s grace] has now been revealed through the appearing of our Savior, Christ Jesus, who has destroyed death and has brought life and immortality to light through the gospel.”
    “Since the children have flesh and blood, [Jesus] too shared in their humanity so that by his death he might break the power of him who holds the power of death--that is, the devil-- and free those who all their lives were held in slavery by their fear of death.”
    “When the perishable has been clothed with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality, then the saying that is written will come true: ‘Death has been swallowed up in victory.’ ‘Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?’”

    In Jesus, we find victory over death but also something tangible and eternal to confront the fear of death.

    I would say, the only true and permanent solution to fear of death; other than self deception through reprogramming your mind, would be through seeking and possibly finding Jesus as a personal saviour.

    All the best in your journey! If you would like to talk, shoot me a message!
  8. shlama_001

    shlama_001 Fapstronaut

    Jesus said:

    I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live, and everyone who lives and believes in me shall never die.”
    John 11:25-26.
  9. ShadyPerson

    ShadyPerson Fapstronaut

    I'm assuming you don't fear death itself, but rather what comes after it. Now I want you to think about whatever you think that is and ask yourself: how in hell can I know for sure it's going to be this.

    For instance let's say you're affraid of vanishing forever. It's easy to think that there's nothing after death. After all everyone keeps telling you that. But how do they know? Did they die and come back to tell us? Do they have a machine that can peek beyond death and show us that there's nothing? It's a common misconception that it would be scientifically correct to think that there can be nothing after death. You see, while there's no evidence of life beyond death, it's impossible to tell for sure if there is such thing.
    Life beyond death, just as this life, would be a thing that you in your consciousness experience. But the problem with that is that scientists have been unable to locate human consciousness, or even prove empirically that there is such thing. (Don't worry. You can prove your own consciousness for yourself. "I think, therefore I am." as Descartes put it. You just can never be 100% certain that other people around you are conscious.) Since the science community is oblivious to what or where consciousness really is, they can't track it. They can't tell if it goes somewhere after death or if it gets destroyed.
    The current assumption is that consciousness is part of our brain or even the result of all our brains functions. This is where the idea of nothingness after death comes from. Consciousness is part of the brain and brain gets decays after death, therefore consciousness decays with it.
    But really they don't know for sure where or what the consciousness is and that's the exact reason why our biology classes don't teach us that there's nothing after death and why religions and metaphysical philosophy exist. Because we don't really know and your guess is just as good as anyones.
    Reborn16 and Deleted Account like this.
  10. Reborn16

    Reborn16 Fapstronaut

    We're all visitors here. Some say keeping our mortality in mind is the best way to stay true to our values.

    There's a chapter on this in 'the art of not giving a f*ck'. Put it into perspective for me.

    I guess as we get older most of us come to terms and have acceptance for it. Interviews with the elderly actually indicate that they are more likely to feel regret for a life not well lived, than fear for what happens after life.

    If this is really troubling you, I would also recommend some counselling. Perhaps with someone trained in Acceptance Commitment Theory (ACT).
  11. Yep u do

    Yep u do Fapstronaut

    Most of the time people fear death cuz they put all their effort on this temporary world. It is obvious that this perfect world isnt here by chance, if you behave good and do good around you, you wont have any reason to fear death. God rewards good with good, and He is the Most Merciful. I hope that you will find the true path (and if your intention is good God will guide you): pure monotheism of Abraham may peace be upon him. Glory to God Who gave us this beautiful life and will give us something even more amazing in the Hereafter for eternity. Death is nothing except sufferance sometimes, but you must know that God makes you suffer to forgive some of your sins or to reward you even more. Glory to Him

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