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Getting tempted to fulfill fantasies

Discussion in 'Compulsive Sexual Behavior' started by Commit, Oct 22, 2018.

  1. Commit

    Commit Fapstronaut

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    It's been 4 days since PMO which is a really strong streak for me, I think 4 days was my longest before to. MY porn addiction was to exhibitionism type porn, twink/daddy type porn, and femboy/sissy porn. I don't even consider myself gay in real life as I've only dated girls and have been in relationships with girls. When I look at people on the street I am only physically attracted to women.

    But the exhibitionism and sissy twink porn is more out exposing yourself and feeling vulnerable. I was addicted to the idea of getting naked and playing nude slut for an older man who is 50+. My addiction started of with porn but eventually I started finding video chat rooms and skype where I met older gay perverted men who just wanted some action. I stripped from them online and did other humiliating stuff for their entertainment because it was a turn on and reminded me of the porn. I eventually started doing this in public to like in changerooms when it was empty. Eventually I started going to a nude beach and meeting older men there and getting naked for them to see them smile and their perverted face enjoy it. It made me soo hard and I masturbated and cummed to it many times. In some of my previous posts I even talked about how I took it too far and met an older man who wanted more than just to be a voyeur and wanted to actually play out the Daddy & sissy fantasy. At first I said no to the idea and made it very clear that I was just meeting to strip and get naked and touched but eventually I gave in. I dressed up for him and danced for him and let him have sex with me.

    That is all in the past now and has been for many months after it escalated to that point. Now I am on and off with the PMO streaks getting 1-2 days of PMO most times and i'm normally a guy who jacked off at least 5 times a day. Now I am 4 days PMO and I am impressed with myself but everytime I get naked or see myself in the mirror I get tempted to find somebody online or in real life and exposing myself for their entertainment. I just can't stop thinking about it and when i'm not thinking of doing it myself than im thinking of girls doing it for me. I can't get it out of my head it's insane and frustrating and all I can think about sometimes I sex
     
  2. After some days in the urges can be very strong.
    Keep your reason for stopping firmly in mind, strengthen your plan if you need to.
    Get out and do something new, engaging.
    Come here and talk it out like you are doing now.
    This will calm down in time.
     
    salvacion_a_888 and Tannhauser like this.
  3. Remember long term goals of not wanting to go down that path again. Make a goal for 7 days no pmo. Then once you hit that adjust your goal to 8 days or 10 days or whatever. Then make a 30 day goal and see how that goes. Etc.
     
    traveler2 likes this.
  4. goodguy1225

    goodguy1225 Fapstronaut

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    @Commit I've been following your posts as I have similar feelings and struggles I’m dealing with. I’ve never actually done anything in real life but the escalation you describe is something I’ve been dealing with as well.

    I know for me these fantasizes are caused by excessive P but fueled by low self confidence. To the point where I don’t care who is giving me the attention as long as I get the positive reinforcement that I’m craving, even if it is coming from a sick perverse place. I’m trying to find confidence from within instead of looking to outside sources but I still have cravings to take the easy way out, especially when things get tough in life.

    I too am only attracted to women in real life so I think we both know that P is to blame for confusing our brains. I’m maybe 2+ weeks of nofap and can tell you the urges still come and go and get worse when I drink or smoke. Coming here when I have these urges has been a big help for me. Feel free to PM me if you want to talk more.
     
    traveler2 and Deleted Account like this.
  5. Tannhauser

    Tannhauser Fapstronaut

    Hey man, how are you doing?
     
  6. Commit

    Commit Fapstronaut

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    I was doing really really good , I hit 7 days (sort of because 2 nights I edged but didnt orgasm) than on Saturday I couldn't hold it anymore and I masturbated 4 times online with some older guys and to transwoman porn..... I couldn't take it anymore . Here I am trying again so far haven't even looked at porn, touched myself , or anything trying to beat my 7 days this week around
     
    traveler2 likes this.
  7. Meditation Monk

    Meditation Monk Fapstronaut

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    Hope you get better bro. have a great night!!!!
     
  8. I joined Nofap 5 years ago and I'm still here. I don't actually look at porn or masturbate all that much anymore. I put my newfound energy into trying to live out my fantasies instead of just looking at pics and jerking off. It is more real, but it is still about fantasies and I haven't screwed my wife in 2 years.
     
    traveler2 likes this.

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