I have been stressed about multiple things, including things and people that can't be changed. Its been frustrating. I haven't engaged in pmo since around april 24 when I last posted a thread. I had also been successful in avoiding absolutely any form of lust until 2 days ago. I had almost forgotten that I used to do something like pmo, and I would have liked to keep it that way. However, things are happening that are making me terribly exhausted and lonely. I'm travelling and I keep coming across really cute girls in public. I have always been habituated to avoid even looking at them(guilt/over conscious) but since two days ago I have been feeling sort of desperate. Its purely lust. It doesn't help that thick hair on girls turns me on. Its always made me sick. YouTube is filled of vids that can easily trigger lust in me. I got that strong urge and searched it up and watched a few vids. If I had been in a washroom I might have even done it. I don't like this, its happening again- I'm not feeling in control of my urges. I have also been looking around in public. I can't have a clear conscience like this, I'm feeling disgusted by myself. I don't want all of this again. I just don't know how to deal with this desperation when I get lonely. My last resort would be taking medicines that reduce urges but that would require me to tell people I absolutely cannot. Tgis desperation is making me have thoughts I can't stand. I wish it would stop.