Getting through tough times

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Rivky6191, Oct 22, 2018.

  1. Rivky6191

    Rivky6191 Fapstronaut

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    Hi guys,

    Im single. Age 28, I have been feeding porn for years. Tried so many ways to stop but after 51 or 30 or 20 days falling again into the porn trap. Did so much effort come out but that much greatly falling.
    Recently I have done serious promise to stop watching porn. I did so many things to avoid and created 52 days streak. I was so happy and got confidence but after that many days abstaining from porn, my brain was start imagining/needed for massage, fornication and other kind if stuff. Eventually, relapsed. Swallowed great sad and started again but after 4 days (yesterday) again relapsed. I want to cry, want to run away from these materialistic world, want to stay in small village where is no network. Hmm But I can't do these things. Today, again started no PMO journey with a hope. I will do hard work again.

    Please provide some tips, help me to stand on my promise. I'm doing so many things to avoid porn, like workout, healthy diet, making busy, etc. I will update my story and streaks chunk by chunk on this thread.
    Thanks for reading.
     
    Last edited: Oct 22, 2018
  2. wareospike

    wareospike Fapstronaut

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    I'm in the same boat as you. So, I understand what you're thinking and feeling. I also want to escape from this materialistic world. However, that would be running away instead of overcoming it. Detachment doesn’t mean you own nothing. It means that nothing owns you. Good luck man, let's fight together!
     
  3. Rivky6191

    Rivky6191 Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for standing with me. Let's make a defensive wall before the triggers or imagination are fired. Once it's triggered, we unable to stop the bullet and then we act out.
    Today i have boosted my self a lot by reading rebooting related article. Daily, I will try to clean my porn memories. I don't want to wake up with guilty night.
     
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  4. Optimum Fortitude

    Optimum Fortitude Fapstronaut

    Don't beat yourself up and see the long run.

    Imagine someone who PMOs/MOs x2 a day. In one year that's at least 700 PMO/MO sessions. Now if the next next year that guy did 5 streaks of 52 days, 51 days, 30 days and 20 days, if he still PMOed twice a day on the other days, he would have PMOed like 400 times only (almost 50% reduction!).

    Bottom line is: maybe you still relapse but imagind the progress on a whole year. Now imagine if you imlrove year after year after year. The addiction will take a less important part of your life each year.

    Edit: I'm not teying to excuse the relapse or cause you to relapse again. we should always keep trying as hard as we can.
     
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  5. Monathilda

    Monathilda Fapstronaut

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    Yeah, i am Like your age too. I've watched these p's at least 15 years for myself. Don't give up too early and easily. Stay strong as much as you can. No matter how many times you fail, we will win this war. Never give up. Don't forget "There is a victory that grows in each failure"

    Apologies for my English
     
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  6. Rivky6191

    Rivky6191 Fapstronaut

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    You know, each time we relapse, what we always promises to ourself? "Now no porn, i hate it blah blah...morning, waking up with lots of energy and remembering all those promises about not to watch porn but then at night again relapses are takes place. Its continuous vicious cycle. Afraid to one more new promise as somany Promises were failed .I have fed up with this pleasure-guilt cycle. Have any permnent solution or.clue to break this cycle?
    Yeah, I never ever give up. Today is my 2nd day with out PMO. Hope my 90 days journey go smooth. I will try my best till I die.
     
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  7. Rivky6191

    Rivky6191 Fapstronaut

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    My current condition, its 11pm, Porn pleasure slowly popping out. I'm avoiding it forcefully.
     
  8. dboy18

    dboy18 Fapstronaut

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    It's messed up bra, hope you fighting hard there.
     
    Rivky6191 likes this.
  9. FEECEE SKI

    FEECEE SKI Fapstronaut

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    Keep strong man and dont beat yourself up to hard.

    Keep pouring effort in towards your ambitions and goals in all ways.

    Forward!
     
    Rivky6191 likes this.
  10. tIoD

    tIoD Fapstronaut

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    Hey man, keep strong!
    I'll tell my story of many relapses. 7 month ago I found Nofap, just it happened and I found it. I knew there was a problem in Porn, but on a level of idea, that's all. I read many posts that night and immediately started no PMO journey. Whoa, it was hard but also new experience, process was really good. Urges were hard but I resisted. On 34th day my mind finally convinced me that I could see only one video for old good times, without masturbation or orgasm, just one video. I RELAPSED! Felt really bad but, gave myself a second chance and didn't even reset day counter. On the second day I relapsed again and that day started immediate heavy porn use. I fell in porn watching like never before, my mind was like a dog that was staving for 1 month.
    There started rough pain too. As I knew that a was an addict to porn, my self esteem, confidence, overall happiness, everything went to zero and below it. I could not control myself. After that I started Nofap for 4 or 5 times and every time failed miserably in few days. Then, I gathered every drop of my motivation and willpower and started a new decent streak. It took 28 days to relapse again, total failure, total failure, I thought I was retarded. I can describe those days, but not in this thread, it is already big enough...
    But, but, the thing that pushed me where I am now, is that I never stopped thinking that one day I could break through. Every day as I PMOed, I was reading posts on Nofap, Yourbrainonporn, Rebootnation and was watching videos on youtube about porn addiction. I mean, I was always seeking for more information about the damage that porn can cause. Finally I met a book https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/hackbookeasypeasy-easypeasyway-summary-quote.187421/. Trust me, read this book, it helps, it helps a lot.
    Everything is possible, Nofap is possible. Dude, Porn destroyed my life, 10 years I was PMOing almost everyday. I am 21 year old and I am glad that I found this addiction in myself. This is very tough road, right now I am flatlining and yes, it's difficult. But overall, I feel like life just started.
    Wish you the best.
    Peace.
    P.S English is not my main language koko
     
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  11. Uncomfortably Numb

    Uncomfortably Numb Fapstronaut

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    You got this... but you must stick to the basics i.e. porn filters, be around people, exercise and create yourself a life.
    We are here to help and support
     
    Rivky6191 likes this.
  12. Rivky6191

    Rivky6191 Fapstronaut

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    Trying all those things.. just staying 1 min alone also enough to fire trigger. My situation is going to worse. Morning waking up with so much confidence but not automatically falling into that trap and watching porn
     
  13. Rivky6191

    Rivky6191 Fapstronaut

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    Damn just now I have watched porn for 90 min. Now feeling guilty. Oh god, how can i break this addiction. I'm surprised, recently how I made 52 days streak? From past one week, I'm unable to abstaining from porn to 2 to 3 days atleast. Wish i can die. But death is not the solution. Hmm I have to fight I do one more try.I have to train myself before the craving.My all promises were failed.when my brain say now I won't ask for porn, I want to laugh at myself. It's a LIE. Want spit some filth on my face. Don't how I show my face to God on the judgement day.
     
  14. Rivky6191

    Rivky6191 Fapstronaut

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    Thank you brother. Sure, I will read that book. Your words really motivating us. Love to here more from you. Everytime trying for success but failing very badly. I think something is missing. I have to try more sincerely and have to get more knowledge on daily basis.
     
  15. Rivky6191

    Rivky6191 Fapstronaut

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    Tried, tried......, agin trying in all the ways ... that's the only option we have bro.
     
    dboy18 likes this.
  16. talontron

    talontron Fapstronaut

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    go take a two week trip away from your computer and phone, get outside, socialize. There is no way back to porn. It is a black hole. You have to rid yourself of jacking off and porn forever. Total lifestyle change.
     
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  17. Rivky6191

    Rivky6191 Fapstronaut

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    Yes, you are right. I will go.
     
  18. Rivky6191

    Rivky6191 Fapstronaut

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    I had made a strong decision i was so close to success but after a long streak, one relapse is enough to drag in multiple relapses. See below.

    My nofap report
    1. No Pmo, 25th August to 15th October = 52 days
    Relapsed on 16th October
    2. No Pmo, 17th Oct to 20 Oct = 4days
    Relapsed on 21 Oct
    3. No Pmo, 22 to 23 Oct = 2days
    Relapsed on 24 and 25 oct
    4. No pmo started today 26 October- (hope i won't pmo again)
     
    VeganRights likes this.
  19. Rivky6191

    Rivky6191 Fapstronaut

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    Getting lots of hope, made a strong decision. I will return after1 week without pmo
     
  20. Rivky6191

    Rivky6191 Fapstronaut

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    I'm so busy in these days.Finally, 7 days are completed with out porn. I Hope I never go again in that filth. I'm little afraid because the enemy is so strong, It will hunt me anytime when I get bore/free/stress etc.. Let's see what happen?
     

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