Girl on bus

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by Fullyawake, Oct 24, 2019.

  1. Fullyawake

    Fullyawake Fapstronaut

    507
    919
    93
    There is a girl on the bus that I see occasionally that gives me a sense of excitement. A real spark that few people give me. I hate knowing I only see her on the bus and nowhere else. So that limits my opportunities, and she is never sitting close by.

    I’ve decided I’m going to get off the bus when she does and approach her. I’m nervous about this and don’t want to come off as a creepy weirdo, but I have to do it. I missed a chance to do this two days ago, and afterwards felt really angry with myself. I truly felt like screaming and punching a wall.

    That told me the feeling of NOT approaching her is worse than the nerves of doing so. Not approaching means you live not knowing what could’ve happened. If you’re rejected, so be it. At least you tried. I got a haircut today, shave regularly and have good skin. I’m in the best condition I could be now to look appealing.

    So if I see her again (she’s not always on my bus) I am going to do this. I think I’m just going to be direct. Say something like “excuse me, hey, I’ve seen you on the bus and have been wanting to say hello, my name is....”

    If I need a backup line I will say I like her coat (she always wears it). I’ll be able to see how she reacts to me if I at least engage her. I’m nervous the most about this part - saying if she works in the city like me and if so how about we catch up for lunch, and I give her my number.

    I’d like to hear what other users think about this. I feel like I have to do it, otherwise I’ll be dying inside.
     
  2. SREENII

    SREENII Fapstronaut

    224
    688
    93
    hey man..go and talk to her..don't worry..make friendship with her..but don't introduce yourself in a crowdy bus..in a busy crowded bus everyone must be in a negative mood..find her outside bus and start making company
     
    Gamebred305 and Fullyawake like this.
  3. Fullyawake

    Fullyawake Fapstronaut

    507
    919
    93
    Yeah, on the bus isn’t the right place. It has to be outside.
     
    FX-05 likes this.
  4. Carbon Icon

    Carbon Icon Fapstronaut

    295
    351
    63
    I think if you get off the bus and follow her that will come off as creepy, especially if you don't normally get off at that stop. Has she given you any indication that she wants to talk to you? Smiles? Eye contact? Sitting near you? Try that first. If things seem positive, say hello.

    I think you have bigger problem though in that you don't know how to talk go girls, pick up on social cues, flirt, small talk, etc. Is this true? If so you really need to work on that. Number one priority - get clean from porn (you probably shouldn't be trying to date right now if your dealing with an addiction FYI). Practice talking to girls, all the time, every girl you have the chance too, flirt, small talk, whatever, just go for it until it becomes comfortable. Treat them like normal human beings - that's what they are.
     
  5. Fullyawake

    Fullyawake Fapstronaut

    507
    919
    93
    I am seeking to connect with real women and not pixels. I have explained the reason for apprehension about approaching a stranger cold turkey given the creepy connotations. That’s all. You claim that’s because I don’t know how to talk to girls. Absolutely false. We’ll leave that there.
    Yep. She wasn’t on there on Friday. It depends when they get on I suppose. If she’s on anytime next week I’m going to do it.
     
    Philomena and Just Is like this.
  6. Milhouse Van Houten

    Milhouse Van Houten Fapstronaut

    172
    380
    63
    "Do this, don't do that, on the bus no off the bus but her stop is creepy" blah blah blah.

    Ultimately, this guy understands the environment better than anyone that isn't in his situation. It's up to his judgment to see what works best.

    Good luck homie, girls are the coolest lmao.
     
    Fullyawake likes this.
  7. Fullyawake

    Fullyawake Fapstronaut

    507
    919
    93
    Thanks. I’ve read other people’s experiences and basically people react neutrally or positively in this situation. And like a quote I read elsewhere, stop being afraid of fear and rejection. Just do it.
     
  8. Milhouse Van Houten

    Milhouse Van Houten Fapstronaut

    172
    380
    63
    I would also suggest using my 100% foolproof line.

    Start off your introduction with "Hey, I just wanna let you know I don't want anything from you but ______" where the "____" is your opener such as "I think you're very pretty" or "I see you often and think your coat is mega cool" or whatever. As I said, ultimately you're the one who knows the atmosphere the best and it's up to you to judge what the most comfortable course of action is.

    That's another thing, if the atmosphere is non-threatening or not scary then she'll surely respond well.
     
    Finalito and Fullyawake like this.
  9. Fullyawake

    Fullyawake Fapstronaut

    507
    919
    93
    Yeah. The stop itself is right in the city with people around. That’s a big positive.
     
    Milhouse Van Houten likes this.
  10. Milhouse Van Houten

    Milhouse Van Houten Fapstronaut

    172
    380
    63
    Despite all the poopoo heads who say it's creepy to get off her stop if it's in the middle of the city that's cool. That way you can do something else cool in the city like go shopping or whatevs and that in itself will provide good conversation.
     
    Fullyawake likes this.
  11. Fullyawake

    Fullyawake Fapstronaut

    507
    919
    93
    Exactly. I was thinking of saying like ‘do you work in the city too? How about we go to lunch sometime?’
     
    Milhouse Van Houten likes this.
  12. Milhouse Van Houten

    Milhouse Van Houten Fapstronaut

    172
    380
    63
    Try not to rehearse your lines too much. Be part of the atmosphere and let her do most of the talking, she'll dig you being a good listener.
     
    Fullyawake likes this.
  13. Fullyawake

    Fullyawake Fapstronaut

    507
    919
    93
    Good advice. I have some talking points if needed but just go with the flow. I see why you get on with Lisa. :D
     
    Milhouse Van Houten likes this.
  14. Milhouse Van Houten

    Milhouse Van Houten Fapstronaut

    172
    380
    63
    My mum says I'm cool.
     
    FX-05 and Fullyawake like this.
  15. Once you get to that point where you're comfortable just walking up to girls and talking to them (I think I'm 90% there), it feels so great and rewarding. Even if you don't get any numbers, just having that confidence is a huge plus. Women used to come up to me out of frustration because I was too shy to ever even look at them, let alone approach them. But now I feel like "What's the harm? We're only human. Men approach women, and the women get to choose whether to accept or reject, nothing to cry over."
     
    Deleted Account and Fullyawake like this.
  16. Handzfree

    Handzfree Distinguished Fapstronaut

    488
    632
    93
    Duuuude.. .you're making this all to hard... in two words. BE HONEST!!!

    Walk up to her and say these exact magical words guaranteed by the great lover Ima Hunk,

    "Hi, I'm a bit nervous, but I see you on the bus all the time and I've always wanted to meet you. My name is --------" When she responds, just let the conversation go where may. Let us all know what happens.

    : ) HF
     
    Fullyawake likes this.
  17. Fullyawake

    Fullyawake Fapstronaut

    507
    919
    93
    Thanks guys. I’m excited to do this. I just need her to catch my bus at the same time as me again. I’m hoping that happens sometime next week. I’ll keep you posted.
     
    Last edited: Oct 26, 2019
    Milhouse Van Houten likes this.
  18. Napav

    Napav Fapstronaut

    426
    576
    93
    @Fullyawake what happened bro??
    I waiting to here to hear, how you talked with her?
     
    Fullyawake likes this.
  19. Don't worry about going to go and do it. Say what you said in your sentence above, possibly follow that up with a joke or something funny in mind to say to her. If she doesn't respond don't take it hard.. She's living her own life or has someone already.
    Woman I know who are instantly taken don't respond to other guys or have less intention to acknowledge you. I've learned this in the work field over time. It sucks but you eventually get the picture and know who the single ladies are.
     
  20. David stone

    David stone Fapstronaut

    122
    127
    43
    Hey there fullyawake,

    How did it go mate?

    Let me drop my advice here..

    What i noticed is that you want to fully commit to this. Invite her to lunch?! No man thats bambhoozal. Its a crowded bus sir. You want to declare your love there in an overt way?

    You will get crushed by your inexperience. You are attached to the outcome mate. You fantasize approaching. Approaching or gtting in conversation with someone will start on a bad vibe if you do that.

    Try it, dont believe me. We all have to get that wierdness out. Make peace with that.. something funny to say? Forget it if its planned...you will fake smile and she + the others around will cringe.

    Even amazing people ( like she might be) will display a defined behavior based on what comes to them.
    And you plan on going in like a mountain of seriousness.


    Ok now...so all this beating with no solution? I have one also. Get close to her, bumb into her..say sorry with expectation of response
    See what she does and take her hand if she s standing and its discreet. Tell her : i ve seen you before. Then fukingg wait. She will say something and you can continue from there.

    Cant bump into her playfully? Cant have fun because of the general fear we all have "" what will others think"? Then tell her : "you are the love of my life"

    You dont crave the girl mate...you crave liberation from social conditioning. Your naame tells it. May the grace of the devine assist you in this noble quest.
     
    UJ_00 likes this.

Share This Page