Girlfriend: Something I want but don't

Live your own life, not the life others want to you to life because if you make a mistake, those same people will tell you that you are on your own. Fix yourself first. The number of women you bed doesn't make you a man. Loving one woman, the right woman, deeply with all of you and without the pull of PMO is better than messing with the emotions of many women along the way. If you don't care about this girl, leave her alone. You're 19!! You have your entire life ahead of you. It is always better to do what is right than what is popular. You have to live with the consequences of your decisions, others don't. Spend this time healing yourself from PMO.
Whenever someone is pressuring you to do something, look at the life of the person, if it's full of mistakes and trouble, most likely that person is pressuring you to make the same mistakes he has made.

 

Why would you connect with a person you don't genuinely care about? In the end you're gonna hurt them. By refusing to act on a selfish way, you're the bigger man here. Just like DJ pointed, you should live your own life and tell the others to mind their own business.

You're only 19, you go plenty of time for girls later and even now, but as long as you have genuine feelings and are attracted to the person (not only physically).

 

Listen mate, if you think PMO is your biggest issue right now, then focus on fixing it. I am currently fighting several urges to relapse, but I will not. You know why? Because of the girl I am currently in love with. If you wanna refrain yourself from PMO and communicate with girls, then it is alright. If you feel like it is hard to connect with others, then trust me I know where you are coming from. I have loved before and had my fucking heart broken, actually tore down into little pieces. I went on a binge into destroying myself, PMOing as much as possible, heavily drinking and for what? It never helped. It only made it tougher for me to recover. And I am currently struggling, but this girl I am with, makes me feel that I can love again. Feel again. I felt so dead inside for so long, that I even forgot what it is like to feel love again.

If you are currently lost, then find yourself. We are here for you, because we are passing through the same thing. If PMO ruined you, then so it did with all of us. Keep your head up and fight against it! That's just my two cents. And this battle goes on, day after day, hour after hour, minute after minute and second after second. It never ends. But we need to do it to recover ourselves, once and for all.

 

this is so like me. idk but my depresison is one of the reasons that block my emotions. i hardly connect with other people. i don't want to be in relationship. my friends think i'm gay or mental ill. idk, even when i have feeling for a girl, another side in me steps out and take me out of feeling attracted.
also i feel being in relationship gonna drain my energy . the first few days, ok. after that, omg. look at your friends .
also i'm not a sexy guy who can pick up girls anytime . i'm happy single. my heart is fulfilled by spirit, just enjoy the desnity

 

i stopped counting long time ago. today is probably nearly day 30. to be honest, i'm not into the phrase "i have to reach certain days to feel better", no i don't like this belief. every single second counts.

i've got depression and disconnectin even before pmo. pmo just makes it worse and worse, but pmo is not the cause. sounds crazy but i think my depression is the pathway to my spiritual enlightenment. disconnection turned out a beautiful thing.