I have been carrying certain emotions and feelings over the past couple of weeks and cravings. This has helped me in a big way to bounce back from a near miss this morning. One thing I have learned is that relapses start days, weeks sometimes months before they finally occur. I thought I just had a shorter fuse and was getting irritable "for no reason" and taking it out on my girlfriend which is unfair. I learned today that I need to be easier on myself and I need to try and communicate a little better with my girlfriend when I'm building up to a relapse. Today I did edge a little whilst watching porn which is a behaviour I have left in the past. It creeps up every now and then but I always deal with it in the way I should. I love myself and I need to give myself the best possible chance. This video helped with the stress in a big way and I actually let out a lot of emotion while watching it.