Giving in to very small urges?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Dreww, Aug 13, 2019.

  1. Dreww

    Dreww Fapstronaut

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    I'm at 28 days without PMO at present. First couple weeks it was easy because I was on a libido-sapping medication. I haven't had any desire to actually MO to P, but I keep catching myself wanting a quick peek...which finally, after all these years, makes me realize how diabolically addicting this shit is. Every couple of days, I'll open a video, watch it for 10 seconds, and force myself to turn it off. Or I'll open an image, look at it for 2 seconds, minimize it, a few minutes later open it for 2 seconds again. My brain keeps wanting a tiny little 'hit' of the drug. In all, it probably doesn't amount to even 5 minutes in a whole week, but it's more than I intended for when I started this.

    All that said, it's a drastic improvement in self control over where I've been for much of my life, when 10-12 hours a week of this was common, but how do you quell these tiny little urges? And for someone who used to edge for an hour daily for a couple decades, can your brain still repair itself even if you expose yourself to P for a minute here, a minute there? I'm not trying to create excuses for myself to cheat, but I'm also trying not be too hard on myself or get down on the possibility of recovering chemically if I give in for a few seconds.
     
    river tree star likes this.
  2. river tree star

    river tree star Fapstronaut

    Hi. I’m totally new to nofap, but have struggles with PMO addiction for quite some time. I’m just reading threads and am amazed to find how so many people have similar experiences. I really recognize the game your mind is playing. There is an urge and desire to indulge. And there is the will and decision not to do that, to not consent to the impulse. And then our thoughts keep inventing these endlessly creative ways to undermine our resolve and serve the urge. This idea of just a quick peek is just another such trick of the mind it seems to me. I do it too and in my case the short quick peeks eventually lead to full-on indulgence almost invariably. There is no point or reason to be hard on yourself. You are engaging a difficult struggle, so why be hard on yourself? Just observe what is going on in your mind and see where it will lead, and learn from your experience. Seems like that’s all we can do?
     
  3. Shy_1990

    Shy_1990 Fapstronaut

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    Ive had the same thing.
    Don't be too hard on yourself. Looking at something for 10 seconds and then closing it is a lot better than going the full PMO.

    just keep working on it, don't give up and eventually you won't even want to watch P anymore.
    You should try not to give in though, you want to keep making progress. So your next step is to not watch it at all. I feel like if you were having a really bad day, a little look might turn into something more eventually.
     
  4. Informius

    Informius Fapstronaut

    I experienced the same thing when I wanted to quit social media. For me it was often 'automatic' to reach to my phone and open those sites. What helped me was to hold for a few seconds. Not with the intend to actually stop what I am about to do, but getting aware of what I am about to do.

    So the next time you have typed the website in your browser, before you hit 'enter': Close your eyes. Take a few breaths and think if you really want that. Get calm. (all in all maybe 5 to 10 seconds). Then open your eyes and calmly delete what you typed.

    And that gets easier the longer you do it. Maybe you fail sometimes on deleting it and especially on even thinking about it. But that will get better
     
    river tree star likes this.
  5. river tree star

    river tree star Fapstronaut

    Thanks. I'm going to try this. It appeals to me and I think it will help me.
     
    Informius likes this.

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