Giving it a shot

I'm an 18 year old athlete and overachiever, i hope to attend an ivy league school and i have a great group of friends. The only part of my life which doesn't fit the script is my recently discovered porn addiction. I first masturbated at age 11, watching a suggestive you-tube video, i watched porn a few weeks later and the downward spiral began. Throughout middle school and my freshman year, i remained unaware to the deeper issues forming as my porn habit increased. I started watching porn once or twice a week and sticking with soft core videos. At my worst, i watched bondage-style porn every day and even got involved in chat-roulette and other cam-to-cam chat rooms. When i got to high school, i started getting girlfriends and my habits died down slightly, but the damage was already done. I was still watching hardcore porn multiple times a week and my perception of women was totally wrecked. I ran into trouble when i got my first blowjob, from a smoking hot older girl who i had fantasized about before. This girl knew what she was doing, and i got hard, yet somehow i was unable to bust. I chalked it up to being Drunk at the time, and thought little of it. Throughout the rest of the year, i got many BJ's from attractive girls, yet never managed to bust. I made a boatload of excuses, with porn addiction never really crossing my mind, and my self-esteem took a major hit. I worried about life long ED, or that this was a sign that i was subconsciously gay, and I began to watch porn more and more, almost as a way to prove to myself that i was straight. I hit rock bottom my sophomore year, when i hooked up with a senior cheerleader who was considered to be one of the hottest girls in my school. What sounds like any teenage boys fantasy was a nightmare for me, my confidence was wrecked at this point and i gave her an incredibly unsatisfying hookup. My reputation took a major shot, and i went through months of loneliness and depression smoking lots of pot and using Porn as my escape. In the spring of that year, i stumbled upon an article that would change my life. It talked about the physical effects of hardcore porn watching, and the symptoms clicked in my brain. I went back to watching soft core porn, assumed my problems were over, and began to go after girls with my old sense of confidence. I soon had another girlfriend, and things went smoothly. I continued reading about the effects of porn on the brain , but at this point i didn't admit that i was a full-blown addict. One day, my Girlfriend and I decided to have sex. I had been anticipating this moment for years, and i was nervously excited. As i was about to penetrate her, i went completely soft. No amount of coaxing could fix it, and i went home ashamed. My friends busted my balls incessantly , and i resolved to get to the root of my problem by quitting porn use cold-turkey. I managed to go ten days without watching, and had sex with her without an issue. Again I thought i had conquered my demons for good, but sadly i underestimated the addictive powers of porn. My girlfriend and I broke up soon after, and i sank right back into my old habits. Since then, I have been constantly struggling to quit Porn forever, I've tried different methods (Quitting porn all out, slowly weaning off porn, stopping all forms of masturbating) but never manage to go more then a couple weeks without falling into a 3 day porn binge. Right now, i am in the midst of my longest streak (15 days) and have resolved to do a 60 day reboot with no forms of masturbating. With new years eve right around the corner, i am resolved to make this No-porn streak last, and i joined this support group as additional motivation to abstain from my greatest vice. Good luck to other new NoFappers out there, and i hope we can make 2015 a year we defeat our demons.