Giving this a shot...

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Jack2016, Mar 13, 2017.

  1. Jack2016

    Jack2016 Fapstronaut

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    Hi all.

    48 yo gay guy in Boston. Professional nerd. Looking to make some changes.

    Since I've been involved in some capacity with the internet since the world wide web became a thing 20+ years ago I've been aware of the ways guys (mostly) were finding ways to distribute porn. Most of it was women so I wasn't particularly interested. But as the tech progressed, the porn did too. And soon I found myself with plenty of gay content.

    Given that I was in a big city with messages constantly warning me about HIV transmission everywhere I went, porn seemed like a safe outlet for sexual expression. But I think over the years it's taken it's toll on me in different ways. I've been sexually active with real people at various times and had no problem. But in the last several years I've started to suspect that something was up. I think the content has gotten to the point (with vids and cams) that I was more stimulated by my endless choices there than guys in real life.

    These days I've been working to make meaningful connections with guys in real life, but found problems in the sexual department. Definitely suffering from porn-induced impotence. And from the death grip. And then I realized I was replaying porn scenes in my head just so I could get off while I was with a real person. People I found really sexually attractive. Last weekend I somehow lost an entire day surfing porn cams, jo over and over even after I had nothing left. It was a scary thing and a real low for me.

    From reading the info on this site I recognized so much, that I thought I have to give this a shot. I also know there are probably some other factors that need attention as well; I'm overweight and thus have sleep apnea. So I'm starting similar efforts in those areas as well.

    I'm hoping to use this site to stay motivated to do a 90 day hard mode reboot. I'm not dating anyone so I'm going to give it a shot. 1 week. 1 month. Then see how it goes to 90days. It's only been a couple days and already I can tell my brain is freaking out a bit. I'm suddenly very aware of my desire to go for porn every time I get bored. My thoughts at work today were a bit over the top. But I guess this means I'm in the right place.

    I'm also looking for a accountability partner, I think. I'll look around in that forum and see what's going on.

    Guess that's enough for now. Thanks.
     
  2. OuterCircleGuy

    OuterCircleGuy Fapstronaut

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    Welcome @Jack2016. Glad to see your honesty showing through on the first post of your journal. My recommendation is to make a list of positive, life affirming things you can do whenever you are bored. Then train yourself to work on those every time you are bored. Start by reading some of the journals of members who have been on this website for a long time. Just reading these posts can make time go by and you will certainly relate with others who have been in your same situation.

    Good luck on your reboot. Keep coming back here to post your thoughts.

    I have mild sleep apnea myself and sleep with one of those CPAP masks. I feel your pain.
     
  3. Jack2016

    Jack2016 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the encouragement. I'm looking around the site now. Seeing where everything is.

    And I already have an activity I want to spend more time on, so I'm on top of that one. ;)

    Yeah. Other than rebooting, losing weight so I can ditch the CPAP is my other main goal. Bad sleep messes EVERYTHING up!! So once I get that straightened out I'll see where I'm at.
     
  4. OuterCircleGuy

    OuterCircleGuy Fapstronaut

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    Great. I have three friends that have lost alot of weight recently, so I know it can be done. What a difference in their appearance. The best of luck to you on that endeavor.

    I actually sleep more soundly with that CPAP and feel more refreshed the next day than before.
     
  5. D . J .

    D . J . Fapstronaut

    Welcome to NoFap where you are amongst friends who are here to encourage you and sometimes challenge you but not judge you.

    How are you progressing today?

    What are your current strategies for combating the enemy called PMO?
     

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