go all in

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by BravelyKegger, Oct 23, 2021.

  1. We all must learn to trust what we believe needs to be done, stop listening to the opinions of others and take your freedom! If you believe that in order to quit porn you need to get rid of ever single piece of technology you own then do it, if you believe that secular things is keeping you from God then get rid of everything you own, if you believe that in order to do something you need to go all in then do it! If what you have done 1000 times is obviously not working then go to the extremes, Jesus said if your eye causes you to sin pluck it out for it is better to enter heaven with 1 eye then to enter hell with both, which is not literal in the sense of body mutilation but he is pointing out the seriousness of it, whether you are religious or not the fact of the matter is this is a very serious addiction we have and if untreated you will end up like some people on here literally in there 50's and 60's still addicted and single, no chance or hope of a family or wife. I apologize to everyone I called out but you have to ask yourself when will it end and what are you willing to do to end it? Tomorrow never comes and every choice starts now, if you never start you will repeat the cycle until you die.
     
    Zimzi, jrm61 and Meshuga like this.
  2. Improv3r

    Improv3r Fapstronaut

    As much as I agree to what you wrote the only thing that bugs me is this sentence:

    Generalizing that PMO is a serious addiction it a bit too much. There are countless people that are not even here doing PMO everyday still living their lives normally.
    Going to work, having amazing friendships, good love relationships etc. and not needing to abstain in anyway to live their life fully.
    One might argue with that statement and say that they are not wholesome and spiritual but they will tell you you are wrong because they feel complete.

    Going religious on it is purely an individual point of view and I hate diving into the topic because enforcing it is just dumb.
    So if you remove that from the equation this sentence is only 50% correct if we divide the number of people feeling fine vs the others who don't equally.
     
    Chuck Shurley likes this.
  3. This post is intended for the people who struggler badly and can not function and live their best lives because of pmo, for some people pmo is not serious but for many it is, and many people never break the cycle and end up lonely and depraved, I simply wish for everyone deeply addicted to do what it takes to become free, we tend to listen to much to what other people think, like when I tell people I am getting rid of all my technology because I cannot beat my addiction they tell me just get self control and you do not need to stop playing video games or watching youtube, it is easy to talk yourself out of it after hearing that but they do not know your struggle or life, do what you know needs done even if it looks extreme and crazy, do what you must to be free.
     
  4. Improv3r

    Improv3r Fapstronaut

    Like I said, as a call to action I agree to everything you say.
    Everything you said so far is a call to action and commendable. Just that single statement was a bit one sided.
    Nothing else.
     
    BravelyKegger likes this.
  5. Candun

    Candun Fapstronaut

    566
    769
    93
    To me thats no different than pointing to people who drink, smoke, eat unhealthy food, etc and using the fact that they seem to be happy as evidence that what they are doing isn't inherently harmful.
     
    Meshuga and BravelyKegger like this.
  6. Improv3r

    Improv3r Fapstronaut

    It may be harmful for sure but are they living their lives fine and have no complaints over? If yes then that's ok. They feel it is complete.
    Only people who search for enlightenment, need it or generally find a void in their lifestyle do drastic changes. Others do not.
     
  7. Candun

    Candun Fapstronaut

    566
    769
    93
    That doesn't really change the issue though. If I have a nail in my foot and I don't notice it, I may feel fine for a while, but that won't change the fact that I'm bleeding out and would be better off getting it removed. I don't see the negative effects of P as a side effect that may occur if you're unlucky, they are the direct intended effects. They take time to develop and will affect everyone differently as any poison does, but its still a poison.
     
    BravelyKegger likes this.
  8. Improv3r

    Improv3r Fapstronaut

    Fully agreed! But how do you know that said people notice this and need that change if they are living happily?
    Why would they need an eye opening experience if it doesn't inhibit their lives in any way?
     
  9. Candun

    Candun Fapstronaut

    566
    769
    93
    I used to be in the same boat. I was ignorant of the problem and was luckily living happily in spite of it. However, it grew worse and worse overtime and I would have been even happier in the first place without it.

    Let's consider another situation: I have a friend who smokes cigarettes. He doesn't see it as a problem and dosent want to stop because he thinks he is enjoying it and is happy. No one (besides maybe another smoker) is going to tell him "Well as long as you're happy!" We all know its a problem and will get worse and worse overtime and him being in the early stage and not heavily affected yet dosent mean he shouldn't stop.
     
  10. Improv3r

    Improv3r Fapstronaut

    The call to action is fine. I was just left with mixed feelings about that sentence which I quoted from OP.
    Because it kind of puts an indirect notion to ones head they are doing something wrong with irreversible changes if they continue.
    The fact that there are people who will read it and act on that message to better their lives depends on their point of view.
    Many will not and enforcing that to them enters into the grey area of limiting their free will.
    Just like I mentioned going full religion on them explaining that you are stopping yourself from going to Heaven.
    Many don't believe in religion at all nor desire to change their habits because of it.

    Like I said I fully support your point of view but again there are people that live happily with cigarettes as well and some of them even outlive people that are living more healthily.
    Some never get cancer nor anything else dramatic into their lives.
    For example, we are here because we KNEW and FELT that problem gets worse and worse overtime for us.
    Others would disagree and they are not feeling anything out of the ordinary which they are contempt with.
     
  11. Candun

    Candun Fapstronaut

    566
    769
    93
    Some people aren't ready or willing to stop certain behaviors for a variety of reasons and I agree they shouldn't be berated or shamed for their personal choice. The only real issue I have is using the outlier or the person who doesn't seem that bad yet in order to downplay the inherent harm in a substance or behavior. For example, you said not all smokers get lung cancer and some smokers outlive people who don't. This is true, but you would never use this to encourage smoking or argue that it isn't inherently harmful.
     
    Improv3r likes this.
  12. Meshuga

    Meshuga Fapstronaut

    First off, agree with the OP. If you're here, you've decided P is bad. I know from personal experience though, P is an extremely difficult addiction to shake. It's not something 99% of the population can easily quit. In our cultural context, if you have a problem that's bad enough for you to identify P as the source, it's going to take a tremendous amount of effort to quit. It's going to take planning. It's going to take a minor overhaul in your lifestyle. It might require a change in the entire way you conceptualize sex and male/female relationships. It will be physically and psychologically painful, and it will almost definitely require persistence and missteps. You have to be ready to fully commit to war against this habit, and you have to accept the fact that there will be casualties on your side, and you have to decide that those casualties/sacrifices are going to be worth it.

    The comments of a first century homeless Jewish guy about tearing out an eye was probably a bit of hyperbole, but his point is well made. Porn is not like a mole on your skin, uncomfortable and a little unsightly, something you really would rather not have and you're messing around with ways to get rid of it. It's a cancerous mole. You need to cut it out now, sooner rather than later, because it might be fine for a while or it might metastasize and kill you next Wednesday.

    For the argument
    @BravelyKegger 's comment might also be hyperbolic. Are you guaranteed to end up old and alone if you continue P? Maybe, maybe not. We don't know. But @Improv3r 's objection, that people use P every day and they are fine, and they feel complete, is also misdirected. Once again, we don't know what P will do long term, because you can argue we've had P since roughly forever, but friends. This is not your daddy's porn. This is Internet Porn. It used to be that the inherent limits on how much porn a person could consume was on the porn. Now the limits are on the person, and it's... the results are troubling. We're still adjusting culturally to it, but let me tell you this. When I made my first strong NoFap push to quit porn four years ago, most of the talk on the forum was "I can't get my dick up," and for older, married guys, "My relationship is in shambles, I think porn might be the cause." Now we see a lot of guys reporting changes in their baseline sexuality, and/or contemplating total commitment to a fetish lifestyle while desperately fearing it, because they feel disgusted with themselves but at the same time their fetish is the only thing that gives them temporary relief from overwhelming psychological distress.

    In the meantime, ED used to be extremely unusual in anyone younger than about 60-65, now guys in their 20's have it. Men unable to convince women to have sex with them is not new, men who feel so entitled to that missing sex that they kill dozens of people in a murderous rage is definitely new. Anxiety and depression are on the rise; is that just the smart phones, or is porn a component? Why is it that the guys who succeed in a 3 month reboot almost universally report improved confidence and a reduction in anxiety and depression?

    My strong suspicion is that Porn today is like cigarettes in the 1940's and '50's. There were countless people smoking everyday, living their lives normally. Going to work, living actively, and not needing to abstain in anyway to live their life fully. Anyone who spoke against smoking was a "square," that is, an extremely uncool person. A Puritanical loser. A zealot and a freak. It took a lot of research, and a lot of time, and a lot of people placing a lot of cultural pressure against smoking to get it accepted that burning through a pack a day was sustainable in the short term, but would shorten the length and reduce the quality of your life in the long term. Even in the short, the benefits did not justify the costs. I think all porn is bad, and always has been. I think Internet porn over the long term will eventually be found to be highly detrimental to a person's mental health, and quality of life. In the meantime, I know for certain that porn is bad for me and I still have to declare total war on it.
     
    Last edited: Oct 23, 2021
    BravelyKegger and Improv3r like this.
  13. Improv3r

    Improv3r Fapstronaut

    I won't yes. I would never encourage anyone to put anything like that in his body. But at the same time ready and willing are two factors that may never happen...
    That was also something I was trying to get at.

    That was very profound explanation and it was actually very interesting read. I would say that this still categorizes only for some people but I get where you are coming from.
    I noticed that people my age (at least those with good education and raised well) show more restraints than to call you a looser nowadays for not smoking or not fapping.
    These are just examples ofcourse because there are also people that will think you are mental for not fapping. Again it depends on what stage of life and personal growth a person is.
     
    Candun and Meshuga like this.
  14. Meshuga

    Meshuga Fapstronaut

    I don't want to call my brothers in abstention "losers," but sure. Many of the guys here seem to be struggling with success, struggling with mental health. They have turned to P and immersed in it more than a person in a more stable situation might, perhaps someone with a better education, who got more hugs from mom and is set on an upward trajectory. That just means they feel the negative effects of P sooner and harder than their more successful peers.

    I think P reinforces a completely skewed attitude toward S and women, and what they are for, and what we should expect. Of course indulging in a little arsenic at a time won't be as immediately detrimental or noticeable as the guy who eats a brick of it, but over time, the guy who never took any will be better off.
     
    Candun likes this.
  15. Improv3r

    Improv3r Fapstronaut

    Agreed, but as a person who got more hugs from mom rather than dad, I think this is a negative.
    This feminine behavior that one is taught can lead to unsuccessful relationships and treatment of women which in turn can push you to P.
    As men it doesn't matter how many pats on the back we will receive from women. A woman can tell you you are the freaking best man in the entire world.
    Subconsciously you will still crave to be accepted by other men and feel inferior to them!
    Still better off but nevertheless hopelessness or feelings of inability to be equal to other men can really mess up with one's brain.
     
  16. Zimzi

    Zimzi Fapstronaut

    77
    37
    18
    You have e a point but yea people in 50s and 60s do not have this issue cuz they didn't grow up on internet porn like us. There will end up being people like that from our generation for sure I believe though.
     
  17. Zimzi

    Zimzi Fapstronaut

    77
    37
    18
    I think he's making a point about the people it actually affects. But regardless there's like no 50-60 year Olds getting affected as such yet because high speed internet point is new. However, there are people who are here who may get to that point from this generation.
     
  18. Most of the older people I refer to is based on my sissy fetish experience, a lot of the photos I see are older middle aged men and older wearing womens clothing and trying to look sexy and inserting toys into themselves, that is a very sad road to go down and with our generation it will only get worse and worse.
     

Share This Page