GO WITH ESCORT?

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by ALEX_88, Sep 17, 2018.

  1. LOSEmyselftoSAVEmyself

    LOSEmyselftoSAVEmyself Fapstronaut

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    Read the fine print, my friend. The reason those women sign that is because they get a MINIMUM if things don't work. For a celebrity, it could be $20 million or more. What female wouldn't sign that? If they break up, she gets a certain amount for certain. For a woman who is already rich, then she hopes to get even richer AND keep what she already has.
     
  2. ClaritySeeker

    ClaritySeeker Fapstronaut

    Where are you getting the fine print?
    How about partners who both earn an equal income? Boom, another hole in your blanket statements :D
     
  3. Toomuchh

    Toomuchh Fapstronaut

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    How do you define familial love? or Love between friends?
     
  4. Ridley

    Ridley Fapstronaut

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    That's incredibly misogynistic.
     
  5. LOSEmyselftoSAVEmyself

    LOSEmyselftoSAVEmyself Fapstronaut

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    I don't think so. Women bring one thing of value, men bring something else. Why should a man expect to get her for free: what she has, has a certain value.
     
  6. LOSEmyselftoSAVEmyself

    LOSEmyselftoSAVEmyself Fapstronaut

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    This is a problem with the English word for "love". Love in English is the same word whether it refers to how a person feels about their family or about their romantic partner.

    This has nothing to do with familial love, this thread. When I use the word at any time during this thread of "love" I'm talking about the romance between a man and woman.

    I'm glad you asked that question because it's always important to clarify terminology.
     
  7. Ra's Al Ghul

    Ra's Al Ghul Fapstronaut

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  8. ClaritySeeker

    ClaritySeeker Fapstronaut

    @Lovemyself1st I think you will never change your mind, but most of us here would say that a man and woman can have genuine love between them.
     
  9. Ridley

    Ridley Fapstronaut

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    That's not what you said, though. You demanded (wasn't really a question) that someone show you a woman who is capable of loving without a transfer of assets. Not a person. A woman. The demand implies that you believe women aren't capable of loving someone unless they get something material in return. That's not a very nice thing to say about anyone, now is it?
     
  10. Ikthrisabrideside

    Ikthrisabrideside New Fapstronaut

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    It won’t cure or help you with the loneliness, and you know it. Not saying that the pleasure of the moment wont be worth it, that’s for you to decide. But as soon it’s over, you will be even worse of than before. Just like watching porn.
    A motivation for not doing it, could be the fact that you would support a horrible industri, which destroys so so many lives.
     
  11. AUTiger7222

    AUTiger7222 Fapstronaut

    @LOSEmyselftoSAVEmyself

    So you honestly believe that two people cannot truly have a loving romantic relationship with each other unless they're getting material possessions out of it? They can't just love each other no strings attached?
     
  12. Barlumedisperanza

    Barlumedisperanza Fapstronaut

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    I never had an erection with a girl, I discovered some weeks ago that porn addiction is a real thing and I’m doing my best to get rid of it.
    But I’m scared of my condition, lately I only had erections with porn and because of my character I’m not so much into getting girls or hang out just to pass the time,also because I feel very insecure about my condition.
    So at new’s year eve I will be at Amsterdam with friends and I’m really considering to go with an escort there, just to be sure I can manage to have an erection and an orgasm with a girl, I think that could improve my counciousness and self esteem and that I will have better time with girls if I think I can manage to do that instead of being paranoid and asking “can I have an erection and go for it?!”
     
  13. Mattew

    Mattew Fapstronaut

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    If i hadn't been with an escort i would still be a virgin at 33.

    I think for some is the only way to get a woman.
     
  14. LOSEmyselftoSAVEmyself

    LOSEmyselftoSAVEmyself Fapstronaut

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    I don't know. I'm just saying that there is no evidence of "love" per se. For "love" to be real, it has to be definable and occur in conditions of isolation from needs, such as money, and other things. Find an example, and it will be rare. But the problem is that ONE Example means didly, statistically speaking. Even if someone could come up with 100 examples of couples that can "prove" the existence of love without a "need" being simultaneouly fulfilled, 100 couples isn't squat, either.
     
  15. LOSEmyselftoSAVEmyself

    LOSEmyselftoSAVEmyself Fapstronaut

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    My suggestion is that if you want to break your virginity, don't do it with an escort. Do it with someone you care about, even if it takes you another decade or longer to find the right person.

    The reason is because it is natural most of the time for a man to experience attachment to a woman he has had sex with. If a man has been experienced with many women, this attachment is much smaller, almost to zero. However, if it is his first time, or he has only been with a few women, the attachment is huge, like a mountain.

    That's why going with an escort when you are young and/or inexperienced is a bad idea. A man cannot get attached to a prostitute, because after the sex is over, she is going to get up, put on her clothes and leave, and never be seen again.

    For a guy, it feels like a brutal rejection on an emotional level, even though he knows, or should know, that this is par for the course with a whore.
     
  16. LOSEmyselftoSAVEmyself

    LOSEmyselftoSAVEmyself Fapstronaut

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    It's a two way street, my friend. Men are just as guilty. Women ultimately only need men for financial support. Men only need women for sex.

    It's true that there are a multitude of other things that happen in the relationship, dating or other interactions, but when the sex dynamic gets misunderstood, the relationship is jacked up.

    This is why at the end of the day, men and women need to learn to be honest about the relationship. Men have a certain need and women have a certain need. What is the point in all these societal conventions that never worked in the first place?

    Society wants me to follow the rules when it suits them, but when it's my turn to live my life, society drops me off and says "hope you can swim, pal". In other words, the familial unit is forced onto individuals by society, government and every institution, but if the relationship doesn't work, the same institution comes up goose eggs when it comes to fixing the interpersonal problems, financial problems, relationship problems, or daily living situations.

    Why follow the standards that didn't work for all the generations before? My parents were married for over 3 decades. Think about that, they were divorced when I was about to turn 30! If marriage is such a solution, why should it fall apart after that long?

    If I buy a guitar amp, the wear and age on it make it nearly indestructible over time. It falls down stairs, people stand on it, it gets wet, but still, if I plug it in, unless someone has really tried hard to destroy it, it still works. Marriage is the opposite way. A couple meets and gets hot, but they don't want the shame, so they go to sin city for a quickie marriage. What are the chances this will be extant in a year? If a short-term thing doesn't work, and long-term things don't work, then by definition there shouldn't be such a thing as a "medium term marriage" right?
     
  17. LOSEmyselftoSAVEmyself

    LOSEmyselftoSAVEmyself Fapstronaut

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    Ra's Al Ghul likes this.
  18. AUTiger7222

    AUTiger7222 Fapstronaut

    But even just 1 couple would disprove your belief that women cannot have unconditional love for someone? Or am I wrong that it wouldn't? In other words you believe what you believe and no amount of evidence will change that and the rest of us are just wasting our time? Seems as if that is basically what it comes down to.
     
  19. Ridley

    Ridley Fapstronaut

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    False. Women are perfectly capable of supporting themselves financially. They can provide goods and services just the same as men can, which means they are capable of earning a living independently and don't need financial support from anyone else. However, the quoted sentence implies that women are not capable of supporting themselves financially. Additionally, men are capable of providing many other things for women aside from just financial support: companionship, perspective, emotional support, sex (did you actually forget that women also need men for reproduction?), teamwork, friendship, etc, so your claim is false on those grounds as well.

    Also false. Men don't really need sex, or at least they don't need it any more than women do. If, when you say that men need sex, you're saying that we need it because the continuation of our species depends on it, then you could just as well say that women need men for sex because they are equally human and have an equal interest in continuing our species (which would also make your first premise about them only needing men for financial support false). Besides, that's talking at the level of an entire species. If you're talking about individual men and women, then neither of us really need sex at all. As an individual, you won't die if you don't have sex.

    If your relationships fall apart every time there's a bump in the road sexually, then I think that says more about your intentions in a relationship than it does about the way relationships actually work. It suggests that the only reason you pursue any sort of relationship with a woman is to have sex with her. It's kind of sad that you have this point of view because there's so much more you could be getting out of your relationships to women than just sex, but instead you're just so focused on their reproductive capabilities that it almost looks like you're ignoring (or maybe forgetting) the fact that they're actually people...

    Sure, I'm all about honesty in relationships. In fact, I think that honesty is one of the only things that will build a solid foundation for a relationship to stand on (the other things being authenticity and respect). If the only reason you're in a relationship is for sex, then I think you should be honest about that. However, you seem to be suggesting (when you said that "men only need women for sex") that if a man says he's in a relationship for a multitude of valid reasons (and not just for sex) that he's not being honest. That's where I think we disagree. Here are reasons I've pursued relationships with women that don't involve sex: her taste in music, she has a unique creative skill that I like (such as drawing, musical talent, or writing ability), she listens to me and supports me emotionally, I feel like I could open up to her about anything without her judging me, she offers a perspective on problems in my life that help me find peace of mind, she's a good person. There are so many others. Am I being dishonest about any of those? Are those not legitimate reasons to pursue or to maintain a relationship?

    Here, I think you have a good point. I don't think there's anything unethical about the type of relationship you're describing: man is only in it for sex, woman is only in it for financial gain. As long as both parties are consenting adults, whatever floats your boat, man. To that end, I don't think that sex workers should be treated as criminals. I guess our point of disagreement is that I don't think this is the only type of "honest" relationship that there is. There are so many other dynamics that can exist between men and women and, as before, I find it hard to believe that you haven't recognized them yourself.

    No, it's not. The idea is certainly sold to us pretty regularly, and it's often presented as the right way to go. However, there's nobody holding a gun up to your head and telling you that you have to get married and have kids. I don't want to get married or have kids, and I've had several meaningful relationships with women. Society hasn't punished me at all for this lifestyle, and I'd be happy going on this way for the rest of my life. I don't feel like an outcast and I don't feel like anyone's pressuring me to do something else because I cut all the people who treated me that way out of my life. Again, I think this comment just says more about you and your personal experiences than it does about the way reality actually is.

    I have so much empathy for you on this one, man. I think marriage is such an outdated system, and divorce law is so messed up in America. My parents went through the same sort of deal and it was such a shit show when their relationship went south because the government was involved in their relationship (that's really what marriage is). I guess I just encourage you to consider the idea that there's a whole spectrum of possibility between sleeping with whores and settling down into a marriage. I think there are more like-minded people out there than you think who see how absurd the institution of marriage is (and many of them are women!).

    Look, I don't think you're a bad guy or anything. When I originally said your comment was misogynistic (and I still stand by that comment), I was strictly criticizing your words and not who you are as a person. I just hope that your experiences change in the future, and I hope you can find some peace of mind surrounding relationships. It sounds like you've had a tough time, and I wouldn't be surprised if you or someone you know was financially devastated by a relationship with a woman. I hope that you can find someone who both loves you for who you are and who has no interest in getting married or taking advantage of you financially, and I hope that such an experience shifts your idea of what it means to be honest about a relationship. I don't know what it'll take, but my first suggestion is that you stop sleeping with prostitutes and try to find something a little more emotionally involved. I'm not telling you to settle down and get married (I think it's pretty clear at this point what my stance on that is), but maybe you can find someone who really likes you for who you are, and maybe you'll realize that you want more than sex from her and that she wants more than just money from you (or maybe that she doesn't even want it at all). Don't give up! There are so many people out there, and all of them are different. Peace.
     
    goodnice 2.0 and AUTiger7222 like this.
  20. AUTiger7222

    AUTiger7222 Fapstronaut

    This is a really well written post and I agree with nearly all of it except your opinion that marriage is absurd. I'm pretty fine if people want to have relationships and don't get married. I know a guy and him and this woman lived together as lovers for like 50 years without ever doing the whole official marriage thing. If that's your thing then go for it. But I don't think it's fair to people like myself that think marriage is an amazing thing if done correctly. I think it's a little harsh to claim that it's absurd and therefore implying that folks to think and have experienced wonderful marriages are insane.
     
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