GO WITH ESCORT?

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by ALEX_88, Sep 17, 2018.

  1. LOSEmyselftoSAVEmyself

    LOSEmyselftoSAVEmyself Fapstronaut

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    I guess my point was that if there could be a "population" of data, in which "love" could be isolated with no "needs" being exchanged, then there could be an argument for "love". See the problem?
     
  2. LOSEmyselftoSAVEmyself

    LOSEmyselftoSAVEmyself Fapstronaut

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    "Women are perfectly capable of supporting themselves financially."

    I don't think so man. The data speaks for itself.

    The reason that men make more money, is because we have to. It goes back to the Bible. It was the curse placed on Adam for eating the apple of the tree of knowledge. To till the soil.

    There's nothing inherently wrong with a guy wanting to make money, or with a female seeking a man to be a provider, I guess. After all, it is the way things are, and have been.

    But is this model good for me? No. My childhood family was difficult to put it mildly. My dad had a hard way to go with his career. He had to get up at 5 am (this is in the 1980s), wear a 3 piece suit to the office, and the boss was a phD creep. We were only middle class, but it wasn't enough money, so then Mom had to work too. By the time I was in 3rd or 4th grade, I was a latch key kid.

    I didn't have to go home, it didn't matter. Sometimes I didn't. My parents rarely arrived before 7 pm. I grew up very isolated, and my parents solution was to start forcing me out of the house. It was bizarre to say the least.

    One time, during a summer, I was reading the program guide and I mentioned to my dad that a Chevy Chase movie was coming on tomorrow afternoon, I wanted to see it (again). He became furious! He started to shout, and he went downstairs in a huff! He brought back some pliars. He pulled the plug of the television out of the wall, and cut the plug off of the power cord.

    He started making, in addition, a lot of demands about what I was to be doing. They scheduled me for a lot of swimming classes. I started out as a guppie, and about 7 years later made "shark". He told me I had to make phone calls, to get on my bike, to stay away from the house.

    The next day after the plug-cutting incident, I got on my bike and left before lunch. Where was I to go? I knew a couple of the neighborhood kids. They didn't like me. I went anyway. Sometimes they didn't answer the door if I went by. I knocked on the kid's door. No answer. The car was in the driveway.

    I spent about three hours riding around in a aimless fashion. In the afternoon, without money or a place to go, I decided that if I timed it right, I could come back home for a while. I went home and instead of the usual place I put my bike, hid it. I went down into the back part of the basement.

    The joys of childhood...
     
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  3. Looks and personality definitely. I’m hopeless. Resigned to continuing my enjoyment of life single. But still not going to give into prostitutes.
     
  4. LOSEmyselftoSAVEmyself

    LOSEmyselftoSAVEmyself Fapstronaut

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    Let me restate what I said earlier, which is that usually a female will NOT sign a prenup. If they do, it always favors her. She gets a MINIMUM amount out of the marriage in the divorce. Plus she keeps what she already had, whatever that was.

    Realize that the laws surrounding marriage NEVER favor men.
     
  5. LOSEmyselftoSAVEmyself

    LOSEmyselftoSAVEmyself Fapstronaut

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    BTW somebody said I need to stop hiring prostitutes.

    If I could clarify, I only did it that one time. Just once, last summer. So if I have only done it once, it's not a regular thing, by any stretch.

    But I can't say I'd never do it again.... (which would be the SECOND time)
     
  6. Ridley

    Ridley Fapstronaut

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    Alright, I'm calling your bluff. Show me the data that proves that women are incapable of supporting themselves financially. I don't think that such data could possibly exist because I could name several women who are supporting themselves financially, but I'll start with two that I know personally: my mother (who works full-time, pays the mortgage on her house, doesn't collect any income except from her job), and my girlfriend (I don't give her any money, she lives at her own place and pays rent, she works full-time).

    I don't want this thread to turn into a debate about religion, so I'll just say this: I completely respect your religious beliefs and I'm not going to tell you that what you believe is false. Having said that, I'm not a Christian, so arguments that appeal to the Bible as a source of authority don't really strike me as very convincing. You're going to have to try something else. I sincerely do not believe that men are cursed to work to make money. I believe we make money because money can be exchanged for goods and services, some of which we need (like food, water, shelter). That's not a curse, that's just survival, and women do that too...

    Of course there's nothing wrong with that. But that's not what we're arguing about. I never said that it was inherently wrong for a guy to want to make money or for a woman to seek a man as a provider. I'm just saying that there are other reasons that women seek out relationships with men aside from financial support.

    Look, man, I'm really sorry to hear about the way your childhood went. Sounds like a shitty time. I hope you can learn to process that throughout your life and maybe come to peace with it. We all have things we'd rather leave in the past, but they keep creeping back to nag at us in the present. That's life. Like I said before, I just hope you're able to find someone who likes you for who you really are instead of just for your money (and who you are interested in for more than just sex). I hope you're able to break the rules and standards sold to us by society.

    That was me, and I didn't say you "need to". What I really said was that I think looking for something a little more emotionally involved might bring you some peace of mind, and I still stand by that statement whether you've slept with a prostitute one time or one thousand times.
     
  7. Ridley

    Ridley Fapstronaut

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    I apologize for saying that. I didn't mean to say something so harsh. Rather than making it about the institution of marriage itself, I should have made it about myself, so I'll repair what I said now:

    I don't see the appeal of marriage. I don't think that you need to get the government involved to have a long lasting, committed, loving relationship with someone. I think that any benefit that one could accredit to a marriage could also be achieved without the involvement of the government.

    That expresses how I truly feel about marriage, and my intention was never to belittle anyone who is married or who endorses the institution of marriage. I apologize for crossing the line there.
     
  8. Anubis Rises

    Anubis Rises Fapstronaut

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    marriage is a must if you plan on having sex an children with that person,beause you well be bringing other beings into this realm, under gods guildance but its unfortunate the government brings there business into it, there are woman out there that still believe in love an actually marry you because of love an have no interest in your money or possessions after divorce,
     
  9. Anubis Rises

    Anubis Rises Fapstronaut

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    when sticking to nofap an celibacy well ....with my experience ,my discipline levels rise, i have tons of energy, my mind is sharp, but when i pmo or have sex my energy depletes , i feel the sex partner has stolen something from me, i quickly start resenting her, doesnt matter how much i find her attractive or how much i enjoy talking to her ,
     
  10. ClaritySeeker

    ClaritySeeker Fapstronaut

    How do you know a prenup always favors the woman? Are you just making stuff up all the time?

    Plus you never answered my second question, what if both partners are making equal incomes and sharing things equally?
     
  11. AUTiger7222

    AUTiger7222 Fapstronaut

    So unless you've got a wide range of data to back it up you can't consider it might be true because of your own personal experience that says differently?
     
  12. AUTiger7222

    AUTiger7222 Fapstronaut

    My best friend would certainly disagree with this statement. She is financially independent and has done it without the need of a man. She has her own house and car that is completely paid off which she paid off herself from being a nurse. She works over 40 hours a week to support herself so she doesn't "need" a man.

    There's plenty of women just like her too!! The reason women have never made the same amount of money as men is because from the beginning of time men were always thought of as superior to women in every possible way when it comes to the work force because they could do things that women couldn't do. But the more we evolve as a society the more we realize just how stupid that line of thinking is.
     
  13. AUTiger7222

    AUTiger7222 Fapstronaut

    We're good. Just wanted to point out that came across in a way that you probably didn't mean.
     
  14. Archangel 77

    Archangel 77 Fapstronaut

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    As someone going through separation and divorce, I approve this message.

    Marriage and divorce laws may have protected individuals at one point in history, but I think our society has advanced far enough with equal rights and protections that the old laws need to be amended.

    Though I am also grateful to be living in a state that just updated their laws in 2016.
     
  15. Archangel 77

    Archangel 77 Fapstronaut

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    Ummmm, maybe that’s because for nearly all of history, the laws and societies protections have favored men exclusively? It still weirds me out to think about how recent the women’s rights movement was.

    Here’s a recent example from our “fair” medical industry, Health insurance covers erectile dysfunction drugs for men, but not birth control for women.
     
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  16. Archangel 77

    Archangel 77 Fapstronaut

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    I can certainly relate to having an isolated childhood. We were not middle class though, it was much more rural country poverty.

    Regardless of the past, remember that isolation is not the answer. I have to remind myself of that so many times throughout the day. All my brain wants is to run and hide in the forest (my back part of the basement) but no matter how many times I go there, I never find true joy or connection. It’s so funny that my brain still wants that isolation so badly when it has so many experiences of it not being fulfilling.
     
  17. LOSEmyselftoSAVEmyself

    LOSEmyselftoSAVEmyself Fapstronaut

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    I really don't think our society has advanced in any conceivable way, imho. When I think about a society having "advanced", no I can't see it. When I go to the gym, I see the majority of members sitting around looking into smartphones. I see the same number of addicts begging for bus fare on the sidewalks. I see people who have advanced degrees who spend the majority of the productivity "hanging out" in an office setting.

    If anything, the world has digressed into a state of spiritual decomposition whilst imagining themselves a utopia.
     
  18. LOSEmyselftoSAVEmyself

    LOSEmyselftoSAVEmyself Fapstronaut

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    Re: isolation

    I never really chose to be isolated, honestly. It was something that was forced upon me. I tried to join sports, activities, and meet the kids in the neighborhood. These groups thought I was weird, and told me, sooner or later to take a hike.

    I've had so much isolation over 4 &1/2 decades, I feel allergic to it, but now, I have to be in it a certain amount. All of my productivity depends on it. But at least I have good results from this pain.

    I don't really "seek" isolation, so I have to part company with you on that topic. It's just that I had this mental illness hard and fast from such an early age, being bullied by girls in preschool and all that. My parents shamed me over the incidents. I had no choice but to become an escapist. It's so ingrained in me, I can't see beyond myself.

    But I'm making an active effort to "escape my escapism". The way I do it is to volunteer regularly, get active in recovery groups, play open stages, attend shows if someone asks me to be there, or constantly find ways to get out of the house.

    I have to strike a balance between my productivity, all of which happens at home, and being outside, or I should say, just finding social outlets.

    Another reason these social outlets have helped me was to find my vulnerabilities and defeat my own fears.

    At first I was afraid to sing in public, I thought I'd always end up behind the trap kit. But then I met a busker, and he wanted to do a drunk Irish version of "Beat on the Brat" (The Ramones).

    I said to myself, screw it. If I'm scared, then so what if I die. Clinging on to insecurities, to garbage, to my own false beliefs are all non-starters. So there we were, singing this song, full volume on a weekend night on a crowded street in the summer in the arts district.

    Gradually, I got better. I took a collection of my favorite songs I wrote, worked on them, and started playing them live. I got my album done, and because of being vulnerable, and facing my fears, life has really gotten so much better.

    Sorry about the over long rant. I am, after all, a moron!
     
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  19. Archangel 77

    Archangel 77 Fapstronaut

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    Service to others is a wonderful thing regardless of what you’re going through. I myself, need to make sure I have a regular service commitment for the new year. Thanks for the reminder!

    Regarding you’re last sentence, you’re not a moron. You’re human, just like me. None of us are perfect, but self-criticism is not self-care. It sounds like you’ve had enough criticism in your life already, maybe it’s time to give kindness a shot in your internal dialogue.

    Also, congrats on facing your fears!
     
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  20. Toomuchh

    Toomuchh Fapstronaut

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    Yes you are a moron for thinking because you had certains experiences in life, everyone is gonna have similar experiences.

    Most of your arguments you've made on this thread have been based on anecdoctal evidence. You fail to understand that certain things happen because of specific situations and that your conclusions arent applicable to every situation. You grossly generalize and simplify things so they fit your world view.

    You seem to understand that youre a moron, so when people are trying to explain why you arent making sense instead of shutting down and ignoring what they are saying, you should take the time to consider what they are saying and entertain the idea you could be wrong.

    If you are a moron and you know it, then you should have the awareness you are probably wrong and be open to new ideas. Im not saying to blindly believe what other people are telling you, but to examine what they are saying and try to understand the logic. Then compare that to your own ideas and see which one objectively actually follow logic. If both arguments make sense logically its important to determine the validity of the evidence being used. Flawed conclusions can be made be just based on anecdotes (someone individual experience which is subjective) or cherry picked data (data taken out of context).

    Maybe if you do that youll be less of a moron
     
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