Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by ALEX_88, Sep 17, 2018.

  1. ALEX_88

    ALEX_88 Fapstronaut
    NoFap Defender

    the right person is the one we do not love

  2. I have a self-invented definition for love, Alex, which many people disagree with:

    love is the intersection between attraction and compatibility.

    Maybe it's not scientific, but there are millions of ways that two people can become compatible.

    I have met women who I connected with emotionally, but there was no attraction.

    I've been with women I was attracted to, and they were attracted to me, but a relationship was
    not able to develop. Because as we got to know each other, there was no common grounds.

    Without commonalities, common ways of living and thinking between two people, love can't exist.

    I can't love someone if they are a thief, for example. That's because stealing is not too cool, to say the least.

    It strikes at the heart of a spiritual problem, it can be addictive, and also lands a person in an amount of
    trouble that far exceeds the value of the stolen good or service.

    But if I meet someone who likes punk music, but they are into Minor Threat, I can be compatible with them,
    because even though I don't like that punk band, I like a ton of British punk bands.

    So if they are "in the ballpark", usually it's close enough for it to work.

    But also I think there is a third level of compatibility, which is soulmate level.

    That person, I once met. We had natural limitations; she lived far away, we were young,
    and her life plans were problematic for me.

    Here is the lesson on soulmate level: if you ever meet someone who is soulmate level,
    keep her.

    If she has a bad day, help her. If she gets mad, forgive her, without reacting.

    Then enjoy the fruits of the relationship that most guys dream about.

    I pray that for every guy on here!

    You are worth it.
  3. ALEX_88

    ALEX_88 Fapstronaut
    NoFap Defender

    Grazie, bella risposta, sono d'accordo con quello che hai scritto, penso anche che l'attrazione sia una cosa molto importante in una relazione, ma allo stesso tempo anche la compatibilità
  4. In my perspective seeing an escort is the worst choice because of the karmic bonding with another person who is using sex to make a living and can pass on much negative shit to you as your energies mix up together without any love. It can be just as addictive and leave you feeling really empty
  5. ReclaimedLife

    ReclaimedLife Fapstronaut

    Where can i sign this? You are the second person i met here that thinks exactly like me.

    And alex...

    No. Just no. All it will do is exaggerate what is going on. IF you feel down, sex with an escort will make you feel worse. IF you are feeling aweseome, sex with an hot escort may make you feel even more awesome.

    I personally wont spend any money for sex whatsoever.
    She must want to sleep with me because she is attracted to me. I dont want any Bs that isnt mutual.
    ALEX_88 likes this.
  6. That is so true.
  7. so i read most pf the posts here and most if not all are from guys who never were with an escprt.
    I stopped cpunt of how many escprts i have seen so i think i have the right to talk.
    Before someone attacks me for seeing escorts read my other threads i get women left and right (not bragging kind of sick with it actuale read my posts) and use escorts when other women are busy or out on dates so on.
    One thing that amgered me was a guy who said adter the sex you will have a walk of shame when you leave well i never did i was always happy.
    times when i dod the walk of shame was after dates with women and an empty pocket and wasted time for nothing.
    It costs less to see an escprt then it is to go on a date and a few dates and you get more for ypur money.
    honestly what is dating but legale prostitution. I have never once had a women on a date or in a relaruonsgip say she will pay also lets say you like bj amd ypu take this girl ozt on multiple dates and when you get her in bed she wont do a bj. You cozld have easily call a few escorts found one who loves giving bj and paid half of what ypu did to get the first girl in bed.
    Im not sorry if someone is offened by the truth.
    Second peiple saying that you can get robbed if that happenes that ypur own fazlt for being stupid.In my country most escorts operate out of their own apartman no street hookers also have sites where people rate them and talk about their experince so if you decide to go to a escort in a bad neighbpurhood that on you. You have the internet at your disposale.Also to tie in to my point if you get a std again your fault. Never fuck withput a condom mever also read the reviews. Their was one girl on the site looking for guys and the other girls and other dudes wheresaying she has std everywherw.Dont know if she does or doesnt but i wouldnt risk it..
    Honestly seeimg am escort from my personale experimce is safe less money and pleasurbale. In my whole life i only had great sex twice and one of them is with a escort.
    others also stating that it will haunt you for the rest of your life
    really i ask them havnt we all lied once to a girl to get laid will that haunt you.
    Or havmt we all atleast did something or buy something for a girl so we get laid. and women havnt you gotten gifts or taken put amd then gave up ypur pussy.why does that not haunt you guys and gals??.
    I have a prob with this taking a girl out buying jer gifzs and dinner and movies is okay but if its cold hard cash transaction then it illegale amd immorale.
    Listen im not condomine prostitucion im not encouraging you to go see an escort just statimg the real facts.
    Seeing an escort will not solve your probs .
    Mine are not still feel lonely betrayed afraid i will be alone for the rest of my life but we all have sex urges and i have never felt ashmed from seeimg an escort. always felt great then went back shit hard life.
    Think very hard before seeing an escort if their is even aliitel part pf you that has dpubts then dont. If the next day you can not look at ypurself in the mirror then dont your choice my friend just statimg the facts and if you decide to see one do your god damn resarch first
    Toomuchh likes this.
  8. ClaritySeeker

    ClaritySeeker Fapstronaut

    Just taking what you said, you admit that will be alone the rest of your life, and I'm guessing that's because you see women as sex objects to make a transaction with. Nothing wrong with it in your mind because it's "legal". Also, even condoms will not protect against HPV (and their risk of having that is much higher because of the amount of partners they have) which can cause penis cancer, the chances are low in the general population (but likely higher in these legal prostitutes), but I wouldn't want to risk that. Even if you felt good about it, to me at least, it's not worth ruining the way I see and treat women. It's not worth being alone for the rest of my life without someone to share it. It's not worth skipping out on a family. If you had a daughter, would you want her to be a prostitute? Would you be proud to tell a potential son/daughter/wife that you saw prostitutes? Not that it would be their business, but could you be honest and proud with yourself?
  9. let me disicate your comment because to say what you wanted to say you used only part of what i said and only fragments that suized what you wanted to say.
    never omce said that i look at women as sex objects never did and never will. women dont owe men their body but what women do owe men is the truth.
    Yes im afraid af being alone. all the times i was manipulate used for sex me not them lied to and so plus the older i get 28 now im afriad i will be alone because the majority of women that are single in their 30s will settel for marriage . Those are the women who partied and fucked around when they where young andnow when they are old noone wants them so they settwl.WELL i dont want to settel i want real love and i have put my heart out their so many times and it has been broken so many times. So dont you dare ever say something again in my name you get me. i hate it whwn people do that with a passion. never said that i see women as sex objects and i never will. Your statement abput family does not faze because i never wanted to have children (go ahead attack me for it because you can not come up with a intelctuale comeback). Lets talk numbers before i get into the ethical debate .
    In my country a girl who has sex with a client for one hour will make what a normale person makes in 2 weeks. Not saying it is right or wrong but here where people with coolage degrees are leaving my country and never coming back and pays are small for 16 gours work which i did those and everything else is expensive i atleast understand them.
    Now you act all high and mighty like can i one day say what i did to my family well can a women say fo her husband she had more sex partners then he has no majority of the time she down plays that number. Or can she say she flirted with a guy or had sex with a guy so she can get something from him. or when she was younger use her looks to manupilate her way ro things sge wanted. Or if your daughther one day did it. Can day one day admit how they used their bodies and thwir looks to go ahead in life. i look at things both ways. When a women does it it is either okay or not talked about but when a man does it he is attacked for it. Same thing like i said about dating being legal prostitution which it is.
    Here is the part i agree with you
    Std. you will never be one hundred percent safe but again lets look the other wayshall we.
    When you go out on a date with a women do you ask her for blood work how do ypu what she has or doesnt have. how do ypu know if she hasnt had sex with hundred of guys before you. Atlast the escort is transparent about it.
    I told him the facts i told him to think hard and clear before he decides to do something .
    And never put words in my mouth again
  10. ReclaimedLife

    ReclaimedLife Fapstronaut

    We all have to go for what we want and the things we think we need for ourselves. I honestly don't know if i could sleep with a girl i am not 100% comfortable with. And there are woman out there that pay for their own dinner, and will sleep with us without us having to pay 1 cent for them.
    I am actually sorting woman out like that. If a woman isn't willing to pay for her dinner at the first date, i wont see them again. It's a character test for me.
    Her time is not more valuable then mine, and the second i have to pay for anything when we just started dating, i am essentially paying for her time.

    And @G-dog, it still feels to me that you are hurt by women in general and you aren't willing or can't deal with those emotions, because that is really fkn difficult and painful.
    All of your posts make me aware of what i personally don't want. It's not that i don't get your point. I do get your point. You have a need(Sex), and you want that need met, whether you find a real woman you take out on a date or you are using an escort. And since an escort is the more efficient route, thats what you choose to do. I wish i could change your state of mind so you are willing to give women another chance and find one that is actually good for you.
    Where you have someone you can talk to in the morning and the sex in the evening is still great.
    And i say this because i have a friend who seems similar to you. Very good looking, tall, muscles, funny, charming, the whole package. He can get almost any woman he wants to. And even he enjoys being in a relationship. He found a girl that is his match and gave her another chance after he found out that she did something bad to him. Sometimes it is worth to fight for a woman. But that only worked because he was always open for finding the right woman for his life.

    You must be willing to get hurt in your heart in order to fall and let yourself go. If you arent willing to do that, your relationships might end up superficial and without a deep connection. I've never been in your situation, so i can't say how it feels to have beautiful woman being interested in me and being able to "switch" them at my whim. But i do know how to find a girl to have great sex with. At least for me. I have to find a girl that is open, has a healthy relationship towards sexuality, reacts positive towards masculine traits and i have a (deep) connection with. The better the connection, the better the sex is for me.
  11. ClaritySeeker

    ClaritySeeker Fapstronaut

    Sorry, paying for sex is looking at women as sex objects. There's no way around that. So yes, you look at women as sex objects, whether you want to admit it or not.
    Just being honest with you. You can't expect to find love if you look at women as sex objects. I don't have anything against you going for prostitutes, but you have to realize the consequences...
    So you base your own life on what other women do? See how that logic doesn't work? You should do the right thing for yourself. If someone else does something morally wrong (prostituting), it doesn't mean you should too.
    Find a good girl you can trust. Not easy, but worth it.
    Your facts are all wrong, just making sure someone doesn't make any mistakes by listening to something morally/ethically wrong like this.
    Sorry if this sounds mean, but it's just plain wrong.
  12. Lets again destroy everything you said.
    My facts are wrong then you say morales and ethics.
    So which is it .
    are my facts wrong or are my morals wrong.
    If you are a real man you will change you previous statment and say my morals amd etichs are wrong based on what you belive in but my facts are not wrong.
    Facts are date collected after surveys for example while morales are emotions for example.
    So stating examples from people and what they experinces are facts not morales
    So let me be clear how wrong you are my facts are correct but my morales to you and how you look at them when discusing this topic are wrong.
    (i will be waiting to see if you will change what you wrote.)
    sorry if this sounds mean but science :).
    I look at women as sex objects i will admit to that but i need you to admit to something first.
    Have you ever paied for dinner
    Have you ever bout a girl a present.
    and have you ever got a kiss or something even more for it.
    One can say that you also look at women as sex objects
    Like i said if its dinner or a presnt it is okay vut when money it is a prob. and they call it dating .
    I dont base my actions on what women do i call it out unlike the rest of peiple who give them a free pass.
    again i will admit to seeing as women as sex object based of your dwfinition of the word regarding this tipic if you will admit that women are even worse then us men.
    If you want to continue this debat with me we can.
    I have stories data and vids all proving my point
  13. i get what you were saying and part of me was holding on for what you descrubed as real love for a long time but today it has died.
    Not afraid to admit it.
    And im also a direct person so i understand if you get angry.
    Your friend is an idiot.
    You said she hurt him and he took her back.
    no matter what it is if she real did care for him she would have never hurt him. probably saw that her life was better with him so .
    That is just my opinion you know your friend better
  14. Going with an escort is so much worse than a quick MO session.

    1. Protection is not fail safe in the heat of sexual contact. Condoms don't protect you from a whole bunch of STDs.

    2. Sex with another person is a big deal. Its huge. It will stuff up your mind more than a quick MO will. You will never erase an escort while having sex with future partners. Whereas MO is pretty forgettable.
    ALEX_88 likes this.
  15. ClaritySeeker

    ClaritySeeker Fapstronaut

    Too confusing...
    Ok, cool, glad you understand.
    But I do it without expectations, I don't expect to be compensated or rewarded. That's what you do if you like someone. I'm not exchanging services.
    Yes, because you expect to be rewarded for paying a working girl, she is not doing it because she likes you in her heart.
    This mindset is wrong and that's why you will probably end up alone and that's why you pay for prostitutes. This is a toxic way of thinking, but maybe something really bad happened to you in your life that you think this way. Maybe I've been lucky and haven't had a really bad experience like this, so maybe that's why we are the way are.
    I don't mind, I love debating (especially when people listen to logic/reason and don't get angry - I actually really appreciate that in you), but tomorrow will probably be my last day of NoFap, so let's hear what you got :D
    goodnice 2.0 likes this.
  16. ReclaimedLife

    ReclaimedLife Fapstronaut

    How can something i write about true love influence you to a degree that you say that whatever is left for hope of that, is now gone? Are you even reflecting of what i write? Nobody should give up the possibility to fall in love, it is an amazing feeling. We just have to learn to deal with those emotions. THAT is the hard part.
    And afterwards we see whether that person is truly good for us, and we can have a happy relationship. Or find someone new. Whatever is best for yourself.
    Woman only really become a problem if we try to make them the focus of our lifes.

    And for my friend...
    Only time will tell whether my friend was an idiot for taking her back. She had her reasons and those reasons were almost all dedicated to keeping the relationship alive because she didn't want to loose him. She never cheated or made out with someone else. And it's not up to me to judge either of them. I want him to be happy and if that woman makes him happy, i don't see a problem in fighting for her and trying to work it out.

    I see a problem when people aren't willing to fight for a relationship if both partners are willing to work on it and it is generally a healthy relationship.
  17. I have been with escorts and believe me they cost a lot more than going on a date. I let the partner pay half the meal and I pay the other half while I on the date.

    Sure you enjoy being with escorts, and I used to enjoy it, however eventually it felt like an empty wallet and waste of time. Sure escorts say things to make you happy and turned on and they just do it for the money, however much more common than not is they really do not like you, even though they will never admit to it.
    ReclaimedLife and Ra's Al Ghul like this.
  18. ALEX_88

    ALEX_88 Fapstronaut
    NoFap Defender

    however guys finally I changed my mind, I will never go with an escort: D thank you all for your support
  19. motion2082

    motion2082 Fapstronaut

    If I won the lotto tomorrow I would go with as many high class escorts as Charlie Sheen
  20. Marik757

    Marik757 Fapstronaut

    Late to chime in,

    But as someone who went the escort route many many years ago. I felt worse after the fact than before.

    I felt less confident about myself because I had expectations that an escort would open many doors for me. But it did the complete opposite. I felt ashamed, and closed myself off.

    At the end of the day I wanted to feel loved, but was only loved for my monkey. If I knew now what I didnt then I would had rather man up, attempted an date with someone then get rejected.
    goodnice 2.0 likes this.

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