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Goals in your 20s?

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by Tekkadan, Jan 28, 2017.

  1. Tekkadan

    Tekkadan Guest

    What goals/skills should one try to achieve/learn in their 20s? I'm 23 and I'm trying to plan the next 7 years ahead. So far I planned three. Any advice and suggestions. I'd like to get the most out the next 7 years, but I have trouble planning so far ahead.
    Aloha and Mankrik like this.
  2. Mankrik

    Mankrik Fapstronaut

    Im not there yet (im 17) but when I do get into my 20s I hope to graduate from a four year university, have a job that I dont hate and allows me to be financially comfortable, own my own house and hopefully aquire other assets most likely through realestate, have a deep meaningful mutual relationship with a woman that allows us to connect beyond just sex, get married. All this before I turn 30 are my main goals. I really want to have kids too but that could happen after I turn 30 it just depends.
    Tekkadan and Alk346 like this.
  3. Alk346

    Alk346 Fapstronaut

    What Mankrik, I would invest in real estate, particularly wholesaling (look up the term).

    I turned 30 a few days ago. Ten years ago was like yesterday. If I was 20, I would also develop my public speaking skills at a Toastmasters club.
  4. Sailor93

    Sailor93 Fapstronaut

    A job you don't hate is quite a pessimistic outlook. How about a job you love! The 20s are a time where you put the foundations for the rest of your life. You can spend it relaxing, lazy and chilling, or you can get in the best physical and mental state possible. Learn to know your body, your mind. Working on yourself is key in your 20s. As you get older, the focus of your life will be on other things, a wife, children, a house, etc. So it's key to get yourself in the strongest mental en physical shape possible, you can only benefit from it later. Challenge yourself, mentally and physically: Heavy workouts, pushing yourself, studying for the best results, doing your best in every part of life. Creating a robust work ethic. Read books about anything: people who inspire you, history, classics (fiction and non fiction). Don't lose your 20s on youtube, it's bloody waste of time. Don't think that a video about a guy doing something special/creepy/crazy will learn you anything. Learn by reading between the lines, by thinking about what people write. In this way, you can form for yourself a vision in life, work, relationships, etc. That you want to pursue.

    And never, never, never lose your curiosity!!!
    Tekkadan, Aloha, ensour11 and 3 others like this.
  5. TheNewDawn106

    TheNewDawn106 Fapstronaut

    I'm all for goals dude. May I suggest picking up a new language? I'm gonna be studying Korean and Japanese on my two weeks off of work this week, cause I work with people of Asian-descent. It helps really work your brain, plus the feeling you get of properly pronouncing a word, phrase, or sentence in front of your foreign friends is quite rewarding :)
    Tekkadan likes this.
  6. Enki

    Enki Fapstronaut

    Personally, I would
    • Learn to dance
    • Start a business
    • Get much better at my profession
    • Set a regular diet and exercise habit
    • Get better not only at socializing, but with efficiently networking, adding value to others, and surrounding myself with people that inspire me, challenge me, and in their own way support me.
    • Build up my social circle and support system
    • Start travelling the world.
    • Talk to as many people as I can to apply the laws of human nature.
    • Learn a martial art - and master the fundamentals.
    • To learn and experience what it means to have a strong, passionate relationship that lasts, no matter how turbulent things get.
    • To be a stronger and more superior man overall.
    This will take at least the next ten years just to get proficient at it, without even mastering it. I can go further, but for the next ten years, I can do A LOT.
    Tekkadan, Aloha and Lloyda like this.
  7. Tekkadan

    Tekkadan Guest

    Thank you everyone for your replies. I will try to include as many of them as possible. Please join me on my self-improvement journey in my main thread. There, I'll try to include the above. Thank you for your support.
  8. Enki

    Enki Fapstronaut

    Sure thing. Where is your main thread?
  9. Tekkadan

    Tekkadan Guest

    Enki likes this.
  10. Tekkadan

    Tekkadan Guest

    Anything else I should learn or try out?
  11. Enki

    Enki Fapstronaut

    If you've done most of the things on the list I gave you, I think it would take you years to master those things. If those aren't your thing, you can switch channels or get more extreme. Since I don't know the direction you want to go in, I can only give suggestions - some pretty basic, some crazy (but that's what makes it fun and worth it):
    • Learn a new instrument
    • See how long you can last "on your own" with your own survival instincts.
    • Try a "social challenge" - something similar to 30-,60-,90- day nofap challenges.
    • Jump off some cliffs
    • Go around the world in search of lost cities
    • Study a single, mundane topic and know it so well you become the leading expert on it who makes it mainstream.
    • Do the Ironman challenge (triathlon)

    In the end, it's your life. No matter how supportive a community this is, you can't expect the people here to fill in the details of your life for you. We don't know you, we don't know what you've experienced, what you want, what you respond to, what type of personality fits you, etc. Only you know all of that as intimately as you yourself do. It's going to take mostly your own homework and self-discovery journey to really understand what you want to accomplish in your journey, regardless of what everyone else thinks. The limits are in your mind.

    My only advice: Dream big. Start small.
    Tekkadan likes this.
  12. Tekkadan

    Tekkadan Guest

    Thank you for your suggestions. I'll see what I try. For now I'm just filling my time.
  13. SupBruh

    SupBruh Fapstronaut

    I think there's been quite a few good suggestions in this thread. I'd also recommend up saving up and travelling about every now and then; stay at a hostel as that allows you to meet lots of young people and stay on a budget. Heck, when I worked reception we had a couple guys who were allowed to lodge for free, and in exchange they'd do all the work required around the place (cleaning, general administrative work etc) - this way, you could effectively stay for few months - travelling alone really helps you grow as a person, plus lots of partying and sex.

    As a kid I also used to write lots of different stories; and I've been thinking about getting back into it as an adult. The first step would be to get back into reading lots of books, and then in a few years begin working on your own. Definitely useful for developing your writing.
    Tekkadan likes this.
  14. Tekkadan

    Tekkadan Guest

    Thank you for the reply. I'll take traveling into consideration! Though I don't want to do it too much because it'll interfere with my fitness goals. I'll think of something on how to implement traveling over time. Perhaps a week gone every now and then when I'm off-training. I'm not interest in getting intimate with folks casually or seriously as of now, however, making friends would be also great.
  15. Moogie

    Moogie Fapstronaut

    My 20s were terrible. Having a undiagnosed thyroid problem and a abusive mom. Made my life a living hell.

    My goal was to get away from my mom.
  16. Consistent exercise and a healthy diet should definitely be on your list. It isn't the most amazing achievement, and can be more of a hassle than it is fun, but there are so many benefits for you body and mind by doing these and these benefits will carry on into your 30s, 40s, and even 50s.

    Also travel, or live overseas. For me this is a big one and I can't wait to do a semester exchange for university in the next 2-3 years. Tying into this would be learning a language and experiencing other cultures. Of course do what you want to do. Work on things you are passionate about and research stuff that interests you. And like @Enki said, dream big and start small.
    SheMonk, Bizot and Tekkadan like this.
  17. Tekkadan

    Tekkadan Guest

    sorry to hear that. My sister had an thyroid problem as well. She got surgery though. What else can you recommend me to avoid making my 20s terrible?
  18. Hiraeth

    Hiraeth Fapstronaut

    1. Don't live in your head.

    2.I heard you like anime right? Well there is nothing wrong with anime but there are a ton of them that are downright stupid for conventional standards. If you watch anime only watch those that really mean something to you and give you purpose. Don't sit there watching hundreds of episodes of Naruto and wasting loads of time. The things that are important to you, may it be anime or characters from anime, they can be alive through you. If you carry on their memories and their will, you can connect them to reality. Sounds difficult but it really is not.

    3. Only use the computer at evening. Seek, to get everything done online beforehand so you do not need your computer until the evening next day.

    4. Embrace your fear. We tend to avoid things we don't feel comfortable with. Because in stoneage it potentially meant death. Nowadays it just makes one a coward.
    Embrace your fear(s) and you will become numb to that fear. That fear will go away.

    5. If you have time thinking about failing and losing you don't spend enough time thinking about winning.

    6. Don't let your alarm clock snooze. Standing up when it matters, is what matters.

    7. Don't think people will treat you special. Many nofappers have a problem with how they think others should treat them. You should understand that strangers don't care about you.
    Most people care about themselves first and that's selfish and natural and good.
    There is nothing wrong with focusing on your own wellbeing first. If people can't even help themselves they also can't help others.
    Back on topic: Treat people like they treat you. Try to stay neutral-friendly. Being overly friendly is a real turnoff for most people and being too cold also is. try to stay in a somewhat middle-attitude.

    8. Embrace rejection. There are over 7 billion people in the world. If one, 10, 100 or even ten thousand people don't like you, then it doesn't really matter. There are so many people with so many different opinions and thoughts.
    If someone can't appreciate you, then move on.
    Live with mental abundance. Jobs, people, opportunities - you WILL get them, positivity attracts positivity, law of attraction. If you stare in the abyss it will stare back. If you stare at the light, the light will stare back.
    Don't focus on negative stuff.

    9. 1st work 2nd fun. Only earned leasure is pleasureable leasure. Don't hate yourself for making fun 1st. Work is always 1st.

    10. If you can't love or respect yourself nearly no one else will.
    Seperate yourself in 3 entities.
    1st There is a child in you. Eating feels good thats why it wants chips and chocolate and loads of food.
    2nd there is your concious mind, the being who reads this right now.
    3rd there is your soul, if you want to call it that.

    You, your life is made up of that, all 3 parts of you coexist together.
    The child is what wants the p0rn, the leasure of doing nothing and playing. It is a child, it doesn't understand the consequences of it's actions.
    The next time you have a P urge, visualize yourself as that child staying in front of you. Hug it or carress it's head and tell that child that you can't do this or that . Or that you have to do this or that. Love that child, nurture it, strenghten it's self confidence. That child is you, part of you.

    11. Future-you shouldn't have to do everything for you. Future-you is not a superman. the Barbatos of tommorrow will never do more than the Barbatos of today, this is such an important rule.
    Many people delegate all the stuff they have to do to some future-superhero-version of themselves.
    But that will never work out. Future-you will only put in as much effort as present-you, always and ever.

    12. The computer is a tool for important stuff. Don't abuse it for feeling good temporarily. And if you do, only after work.

    13. Read about auto-suggestion and get into auto-suggestion.

    14. Your thoughts determine the outcome long before you started. Shape that thoughts.

    15. If you don't have the discipline to meditate, you will also not have the discipline to do other stuff. Get into meditation.

    16. Superficial friends are good and fine. Small talk is cool. Don't think every connection you ever have, has to be special. If you have buddies with whom you know you can grab a drink with but can't place your trust in, and you know you can't trust them, then that's fine. Not every friend has to be the best friend in the world.

    Life is superficial. If you have a few good friends and lots of superficial friends then thats ideal. Being popular means having a lot of superficial friends.

    17. Don't brood. Take 15 minutes out of your day to think about stuff. The rest of the time will be spent in action.
    Tekkadan likes this.
  19. Tekkadan

    Tekkadan Guest

    Thank you for your reply. Lots of great advice here. Will try to implement everything over time!
    Hiraeth likes this.

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