God is feeling far away today...

Need to read the bible of think keep on kindling the fire of faith but need to get some balance in my life can’t just be totally religious and pray non stop... i think anyway.

Want to do some art but i normally warm up by doing gestures drawing of nudes and non nudes I’m unsure if thats wise now. Too much temptation right now I fear.

I dont quite know how I’m going to balance my art with my new found sense of faith. Could find some poses on deviant art some Creative Commons stock images. They would be clothed so... to a certain extent anyway

Wouldnt mind trying some more religious arting or perhaps do more abstract zentangle or mandalas.

Still think i very much like to speak to this preist if the appointment ever gets made, tried emptying my heart to mh services but they had little compassion and no sympathy so a priest perhaps might very well be worth a shot.

Also anxiety hasnt improved by given up pmo if anything its slightly greater. Hoping its a temporary increase due to not going out as much.

Also got a few religious books coming i want to start praying catholic prayers in the morning and night so brought the book Cristian prayers which is much like the book of common worship of Protestants but for catholics. I did already have the book of shorter prayers but it’s convoluted.

Also got a regular size new Jerusalem bible, currently I’m working out of a NLT study bible thats aimed at regular Christians. Its nice i like it but its so bulky if i want to do without tech in the near future if i can behave while online then I’m going to need a more portable bible plus it feels more sacred to read and pray from a real book.

I would like to get the books of Devine office but dont want to pay £150 for the volumes... not yet anyway.

Anyway these are my thoughts of the day.

 

Ive taken your advice @Minsc and done some quick sketches of some magpies a tree and a dove didnt turn out to badly, but should have spent longer on them. Couldn’t find my Apple Pencil so no digital art today.

I guess your right @Tao Jones gone kind of over the top slightly religiously so maybe its good to ease of it for a while, as long as i get the porn use fixed and hopefully get of the chewing tobacco then all shall be good, got a feeling after all thats done i will have to reign in the spending too.

Did read some of the gospel of Luke only just started that one having finished of the gospel of john but today it wasnt really connecting with me, didnt help that below there was works going on so power drills and lots of hammering. Shall try again later might reread what i read earlier.

I guess i cant expect instant change it has to be gradual, be it faith or liberation from porn, tobacco or shopping.

 

Cool thank you, slightly worried christianity is just flavour of the month for me, but still going to try to keep moving forward and get to church then might back of a bit once I’m going often. Might help my balance if I keep church and prayer but back off from it a bit.

 

Yer but to be fair there is stranger things in science like black holes event horizon stuff and holographic universe theory, things I only have the lightest understanding of yet they are still scientific theory’s and might well be true or untrue so why stuff in the bible is discounted idk. I want to believe unsure if I do but going on the theory I do believe in some but not all of the bible, cant get on board with genesis but most of the rest of the bible could be based on real events. Trying not to intellectualise it. But to be fair I have no proof apart from things I have no understanding off due to not being trained that scientific theory is correct at the very least the bible is a good moral code to live your life at most it’s the world of the one true god.

 

Does that include genesis? Idk I thought catholics see the bible as inspired from god rather then the word of god?! I agree that Jesus is god and the saviour of humanity and believe he did indeed exist and suffered on the cross for are sins but I cannot agree will all the bible perhaps out of my own ego....