God is Incredibly Patient!

I think I might be the longest practicing sinner on this site. I gave in to the sin of PMO for fully 50 years! I knew it was a sin from the first instance, so I cannot claim ignorance as an excuse. I tried to quit countless numbers of times. Rough estimates of the number of times I committed this sin yield numbers approaching ten thousand.

It is incredibly amazing to me that God did not give up on me. No human would have put up with my repeated failures but God did. His mercy is truly divine and beyond human comprehension. He knew that someday I would come back to Him and He waited patiently for me and in the mean time He continued to care for me and even grant me incredible gifts.

I am an analytical person. Over time, I compiled a list of impediments to my holiness and I analyzed my failures following streaks of purity. I wrote down those thoughts, that I felt were divine inspirations in my life. Slowly. Far too slowly, my thick human mind allowed God's wisdom to penetrate. Ultimately, God sent me the thought - "this sin is your biggest and primary impediment. Until you learn to resist it, you cannot move ahead."

If you are feeling discouraged, please consider my experience. God didn't give up on me, even after 50 years of sin. Surely, He will not give up on You. I am praying for everyone who struggles with this addiction, please pray for me.