GODDAMNNNNNN

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by zerxeslives, Mar 29, 2016.

  1. zerxeslives

    zerxeslives Fapstronaut

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    I'm sorry but I just have to get it out so I can start fresh tomorrow.
    I'm and idiot idiot idiot idiot retarded good for nothing idiot who is bent on serving his carnal desires.
    THIS IS RIDICULOUS. I was actually feeling amazing about this run, but whadya know? I end up proving anyone who ever believed in me wrong.
    This is such a joke! For once in my life, ONCE, I actually started feeling like I could contribute to the world somehow. It was the first time I actually started feeling beyond mediocre; I started believing I could be above average.

    BUT NO! I just had to relapse on day fucking 7 (pardon my French).
    I am restarting my challenge now but I honestly don't know if I'll be able to get that flow that I had before I relapsed.
    DAMMIT WEST. Why is it so easy here. Sometimes I wish I had third-world country style internet, barely able to load a picture. Oh how stupid man can turn blessings into curses within a matter of moments.

    Someone help meeee. I literally feel like I pushed myself off a bridge and am just realizing its consequences as I hit the water. :mad:
     
    Last edited: Mar 29, 2016
    incredulo likes this.
  2. Welcome to the human condition. We all fuck up. ;)

    Day 7 is a pretty great accomplishment, and there's no reason why you can't match (or better) this again in future. You haven't erased any progress; you've made a mistake that you can learn from. What happened? What were you feeling prior to the relapse? What environmental triggers were there? This is all stuff you can cash in as progress.

    Don't be so hard on yourself. :)
     
    zerxeslives likes this.
  3. zerxeslives

    zerxeslives Fapstronaut

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    Thanks a lot for those kind words. It may not seem much but they actually mean a lot to me.
    Yea I guess if I look at it as a temporary road bump it'll probably be way more beneficial.
    My mistake was edging thinking I can control my desires which was obviously a huuuuge mistake. Anyhow if I were to choose between these 7 days of freedom and my previous life it'd be these 7 days every time. So returning to my old ways is definitely not an option which leaves only one route.. Gotta get back up and not repeat my mistakes.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  4. Greatness

    Greatness Fapstronaut

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    I used to be angry like you and I have prob's failed more times that you tried. With each time I failed, I noticed more things that would cause me to slip. I adjusted and now I feel like I got this. Keep it up and keep trying. Don't wast your energy on anger, but on your mind to think about how you can prevent this from happening again.
     
    zerxeslives likes this.
  5. DalyStrgle

    DalyStrgle Fapstronaut

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    Keep at it man. 7 days is a great run. Push yourself further each time. It is called an addiction for a reason. Do not get down on yourself. We are all here for you and know exactly what you are struggling and dealing with.
     
    zerxeslives and nopenotdoinit! like this.
  6. incredulo

    incredulo Fapstronaut

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    It takes courage to admit how bad we have fallen. But the fact that you feel so lousy is a good sign. I have been there. I want to kick myself. Sometimes I wish I had the courage to beat myself up, but i am not going to do it. I just have to admit I am weak, that I need help, that I can start again and with support from others who have similar problems, it can be done. My problem is that I have a computer at home because before the computer age I could go for months without P or MO. I was to embarrassed to go to a Porno film or go to the library to look at magazines. But now is a hell of chance to jump any minute to watch P and ending up with MO
     
  7. Nom De Plume

    Nom De Plume Fapstronaut

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    I bet PMO once every 7 days is a lot better than it used to be so you have made improvement. It's hard if you expect perfection right away, the key is to not give up. Try again and get at least 8 this time. Good luck!
    Nom
     
  8. diamondboi

    diamondboi Banned

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    Still an improvement if you get back on your feet and continue where you left off. Much better off with those 7 days off, then jerking off for 7 days straight.

    Doesn't matter how you look at your situation as, it's still progress if you get knocked down, and back up.

    first few days are always the hardest
     
  9. kk76

    kk76 Fapstronaut

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    Stop giving yourself a hard time. You are trying to change years of behaviours and it may not happen right away.

    Slip. Relapse. Fail. It's all OK.

    Turn that anger into enthusiasm and go at it again. What good is raging at yourself doing?
     
    zerxeslives likes this.
  10. Phibz

    Phibz Fapstronaut

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    Relax. It'only 7 days. My last relapse was after 136 days. I used to edge too. This isn't going to be easy. Embrace the pain.
     
  11. MegaMan

    MegaMan Fapstronaut

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    Don't beat yourself up! Next reboot will last longer than 7days! Hang in there buddy. One day at a time.
     
    zerxeslives likes this.
  12. diamondboi

    diamondboi Banned

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    I don't think encouraging people to masturbate during the initial recovery is optimal. All though after 90 days or however long it takes, gentle touch with lubricant, and minimal if no fantasy is fine.

    The moment u start fapping toe excessively is when the downfall begins. within days it will be fantasy, then eventually porn.


    We are addicts. get it through your heads. quitting 100% is the only way. Save that nut for a partner.....
     
  13. B1257

    B1257 Fapstronaut

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    Brother, Im on day 7 right now and its been the hardest day I've had so far. Dont be so hard on yourself. I almost lost it today three times. Not much difference between you and me. Start up again tomorrow. Keep fighting the good fight
     
  14. Look man, unless you return back to your old habits, it's not a failure. You are clearly improving and you have so much upside and potential. Don't look at every single relapse as black and white, or as a complete failure or success. You get ahead in small steps, not fast spurts. Don't get too frustrated and use the feeling you have now as motivation.
     

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