Going Back on the Right Path

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by FindingTheLight, Dec 29, 2018.

  1. FindingTheLight

    FindingTheLight Fapstronaut

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    Whatsup guys,
    I’ve decided to begin a thread and post daily on my road to quiting pornography. I’ll start with how it’s effected my life.... I feel a strong emotional disconnect, I feel guilty, I get overwhelmed with the urges to watch, and I have mental health issues (Which I blame on porn). I’ve only watched it for like 4 something years and it has hurt my life drastically. I’m trying to grow in my faith (I’m Catholic) and become closer to the Lord, but pornography disconnects me, not only from my faith, but from everything. I’ve had some streaks, I had a 30 something day streak back in April, and I’ve recently had 13, and 9 day streaks. The 9 day one just ended as I felt stressed and overwhelmed these passed couple days, and my dumb self gave in and watched it twice. It’s time for me to QUIT porn, I’ve had some streaks and thrown off urges, so I have a foundation, but now it’s time to quit this terrible thing for good and I’m hoping making this thread will get me over that edge. I will talk about my faith a lot on this journey, just so y’all know. I’m only 16 so it’s time to regain my life early so porn isn’talways a dark cloud looming over me. I’ve recently struggled with feelings of hopelessness, and lonliness. I’ve been doing cold showers for the past couple weeks (they’re alright) and I’ve been meditating for months. I’ve recently started to focus on growing my faith. So like I said, I have a foundation to start this journey. My path is very foggy right now, so it’s time to right my path. 2019 is going to be a new year and great year, and I’m going to quit pornography.
     
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  2. bloomz

    bloomz Fapstronaut

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    Amen good luck. I haven’t tried cold showers yet, does it just controle the urge or are there other benefits to it?
     
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  3. There is a Christian group on this site you can join. Some of us are getting ready to do a 40day porn free challenge on the you version Bible app is you're interested?
     
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  4. FindingTheLight

    FindingTheLight Fapstronaut

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    Well... cold showers for me help to control the urge. They don’t really get rid of it for me sadly, but they allow me to gain some control over it. Also while it’s tough to get yourself to actually get in the shower, it leaves you feeling energized.
     
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  5. FindingTheLight

    FindingTheLight Fapstronaut

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    I’m definitely interested. How would I join?
     
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  6. Hit the menu button and select groups. Click the Christian group and join. If you want to do the challenge download the you version Bible App. Then message @MusicMan123 and he will help sign you up. Or start a thread and ask about it. I'm looking forward to seeing you there.
     
  7. FindingTheLight

    FindingTheLight Fapstronaut

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    Day 1:
    Well... it was a interesting day to say the least. I got off to a great start this morning, took a cold shower, meditated, spent time with the Lord, and eventually got to the gym, but my emotions are like a roller coaster. (Which I blame on pornography). This morning I felt great, then later on in the day feelings of loneliness, frustration, and anxiety came up. I was just very impatient. Right now I’m just level, not feeling great, but I’m feeling ok. I didn’t really get any urges today, which is pretty normal for me after a relapse. The tough urges usually come around days 3-5 for me, which is going to be the real test. I guess if I look at the day overall it is was pretty good. I just want this addiction behind me, but I got to keep going forward. I saw this Bible passage that gave me some encouragement today. 1 Corinthians 10:13 says, “No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.”
     
  8. The mood swings will come. Your brain wants that rush and will try anything to get you to give in. You can resist. That is a good scripture to renember and use when the battle comes.
     
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  9. FindingTheLight

    FindingTheLight Fapstronaut

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    Yea, I’ve noticed especially on my longer streaks my mood swings get a lot worse. I’m trying my best to prepare myself, but it’s still tough. Thank you for the motivation!
     
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  10. FindingTheLight

    FindingTheLight Fapstronaut

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    Day 2:
    The best way to sum up today in one word is... frustration. This morning was great, I took a cold shower, meditated, and spent time with the Lord. I relaxed the rest of the morning and made my way to the gym in the afternoon. I got a great workout in. I was feeling very good, and I really felt God’s presence, I really felt like today was going to be a great day. Then all of a sudden I just got a short leash on everything. I got frustrated very easily with everything, every little thing made me feel impatient. I started to get thoughts popping up questioning many things, including my commitment. I was just fuming. I began to get frustrated at my self. This feels like it’s going to be a recurring thing, my emotions like I said yesterday, are literally like a roller coaster. It leaves me feeling on edge constantly, and I really dislike it. One important thing I need to remember is that everything will pass. While your in the middle of feelings of frustration, it’s hard to see or think it’s ever going to end. It’s hard to see the light. I need to recognize, even though it’s hard sometimes, that God has a plan for me, and that he is always with me. I didn’t get any urges today, which is good. The real test is coming up, and I fully expect I’m going to get tempted soon, especially with my emotions all over the place. The only thing I can do is pray for God to give me strength, and be prepared. Anyway, Happy New Year to all y’all! Here’s to a great, clean, and faithful 2019!
     
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  11. Uphillfighter22

    Uphillfighter22 Fapstronaut

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    Hold fast and keep the faith. If you fall, keep standing up! It's all we can do. As long as you struggle against it you are doing right by yourself. Have you spoken to someone about your pmo? I spoke to my wife, parents and a pastor at church. A great burden was lifted knowing that others are in my corner.

    Have a blessed new year and keep us updated!
     
  12. FindingTheLight

    FindingTheLight Fapstronaut

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    Thank you so much for the motivation! I haven’t talked to anyone yet about my struggle with pmo besides the people here, and and the amazing group that I’m in on the you verse bible app. I feel ashamed, and I already don’t have the best relationship with my parents, and I just feel they will always look at me differently knowing my addiction, and to be completely honest I’m scared to, as I know they would freak out and possibly not understand what I’m actually struggling with.
     
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  13. Your doing good. You have a good group of guys here that understand what you are going through.
     
  14. FindingTheLight

    FindingTheLight Fapstronaut

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    Facts! I’m so grateful for you guys!
     
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  15. FindingTheLight

    FindingTheLight Fapstronaut

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    Day 3:
    Today was a good day. I got tempted a couple of times, but I was able to shrug it off pretty easily. I know the urges will most likely get stronger, so I’m praying for strength. Also when the temptation is strong, I need to get away from it. Before, I would just try to sit and push through it, but in the Bible it even says to run away from lust. I took a cold shower, meditated, read scripture, and again went to the gym today. My emotions were again all over the place, but today I was able to not let it effect me as much. I got some feelings of loneliness and sadness, but like I said I was able to not let it bug me. One passage that really stuck out to me today was Colossians 3:1, “Since then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God.” This really stuck out to me becuase I feel like in times of distress I try to look inward, or outward, when all I have to do is look up. That really helped me to keep my emotions from fleeing everywhere today. Anyway I’m gonna get back to watching some football. Have a great rest of your day y’all!
     
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  16. You did great. Eventually the urges become less and less severe. Not answering to your emotions is important. Recognizing who you are in Christ will help.
     
  17. FindingTheLight

    FindingTheLight Fapstronaut

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    Yes! God all has a plan for us, and if we recognize that it would be hard to feel alone.
     
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  18. It is no coincidence that after i wrote that response I began to listen to part 3 of a Chuck Swindoll sermon series about how to fail in 4 easy steps. He said, "when you allow your emotions to take control of your situation, the desire for relief will steal your heart." You will not want to face the challenge. He said it in the context of the Israelite people refusing to take the promised land. They let their fear blind them of the fact that God was on their side. He went on to say "great plans and accomplishments are ALWAYS lengthy, costly and require endurance. This is just as easily applicable to our situation brothers.
     
  19. BTW the Israelite people wanted to go back into bondage in Egypt. PMO He went on to say, "when you determine to disobey, you will seek instant gratification rather than the cultivation of character.
     
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  20. FindingTheLight

    FindingTheLight Fapstronaut

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    That is so true. That’s why is so important to take everything moment for moment, and not let emotions effect you. Thank you for this motivation! You are truly preparing me! Thank you so much!
     
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