Going Back on the Right Path

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by FindingTheLight, Dec 29, 2018.

  1. FindingTheLight

    FindingTheLight Fapstronaut

    36
    34
    18
    Day 4:
    Today was a rough day. There were multiple times today where I felt alone, felt hopeless, and depressed. There was actually one point where I just broke down crying. There’s just this underlying frustration, with myself, that leads to impatience. At one point today I was even convinced God wasn’t with me. I’ve been struggling with my mental health, and today was the first time in a while it was pretty bad. I eventually got through that little rough patch, and learned from it. My emotions overwhelmed me. While I’ve constantly said to myself to shrug off emotions, and not let them bother me, it’s much harder to do when they’re overwhelming you. However right now I’m fine, a little sad, but I’ve prayed to the Lord for strength and read scripture a lot today. I truly believe that’s what’s helped me get through this day. I did my normal morning routine, took a cold shower, meditated, and spent time with the Lord. I got myself to go to the gym later in the day. I got tempted but I instantly took a cold shower. Today was a rough day, but I’m going to continue to grow in my faith and put all my hope in the Lord.
     
    Uphillfighter22 and Myfortress like this.
  2. You did good. Way to go. Keep it up. More of the same.
     
    FindingTheLight likes this.
  3. FindingTheLight

    FindingTheLight Fapstronaut

    36
    34
    18
    Thank you!
     
  4. Uphillfighter22

    Uphillfighter22 Fapstronaut

    133
    467
    63
    Tears are part of the process! It indicates a desire to change, it indicates you are tired of addiction, it indicates that something is not right. Keep going brother! Its been 15 months for me and i remember that i shed many tears in my first month! These days, it's usually tears of joy and thankfulness! You will get through this! There is hope, cling to it!
     
    danddy121 and FindingTheLight like this.
  5. FindingTheLight

    FindingTheLight Fapstronaut

    36
    34
    18
    Thank you so much for the motivation! I don’t think you understand how much this helps me and has helped me! Thank you!
     
    Uphillfighter22 likes this.
  6. FindingTheLight

    FindingTheLight Fapstronaut

    36
    34
    18
    Day 5:
    To was a solid day. I got tempted but I right away ran to a cold shower and read scripture. I still need to overcome my emotions. I’m still struggling heavily dealing with my emotions. Right now I feel overwhelmed and lost, but I always need to remember that God is there guiding me. I was actually feeling very close to the Lord earlier today, then all of a sudden this wave of emotions came over me and right now I’m just sitting with them. I need to trust that even though it’s tough right now, God will guide me through this. Anyway I took two cold showers today, meditated, went to the gym, and spent time with the Lord. It’s tough right now, but I need to believe and trust that God is there guiding me.
     
    Uphillfighter22 and bloomz like this.
  7. Uphillfighter22

    Uphillfighter22 Fapstronaut

    133
    467
    63
  8. FindingTheLight

    FindingTheLight Fapstronaut

    36
    34
    18
    Thank you!
     
  9. FindingTheLight

    FindingTheLight Fapstronaut

    36
    34
    18
    Day 6:
    Today was a really good day. I took a cold shower, meditated, went to the gym and spent time with the Lord. Today I really felt God’s presence, and I really felt his guidance. Now, there were some moments where I felt emotions were beginning to overwhelm me, but I realized that they would pass. There weren’t really any temptations today. I just need to take every thing moment for moment and recognize God’s presence.
     
    Uphillfighter22 likes this.
  10. FindingTheLight

    FindingTheLight Fapstronaut

    36
    34
    18
    Day 7:
    One week! That’s something to be positive about! I’ve made it this far plenty of times but this time it feels different. Mostly becuase this time i’m growing in my faith. Today, overall, was a ok day. I’ve been feeling ashamed for my addiction. I really am frustrated at myself, and feel really ashamed. I’ve been asking God for forgiveness in almost every prayer. He’s definitely working in my life, I can see it. I’ve been having more patience and kindness lately, and I’ve been asking for the ability to have that in prayer. I’m still having rough days though. I’ve accepted the fact that everyday is going to be a battle and a roller coaster of emotions. My mental health issues popped up last night almost right after I posted. It’s rough, cause you have something in your mind completely going against your values and faith, but I have God. Throughout all of it I found comfort and safety in God. While it’s rough, I need to take everything moment for moment, like I’ve said before. I love y’all, and thank you so much for the support so far!
     
    Grandpa61, Uphillfighter22 and bloomz like this.
  11. FindingTheLight

    FindingTheLight Fapstronaut

    36
    34
    18
    Day 8:
    Today was a pretty good day. I’m stressed, as I have school starting back up tomorrow. Today I went to church and really felt God’s presence. God is really working in my life. I did get tempted today a couple of times, but I went to the gym, to scripture and to a cold shower. I don’t really have anything else to say, I’m tired, but I know God has given me strength. With school coming up I’m most likely going to feel overwhelmed a lot, and feel burned out. I need to keep my eye out for that, but I also am going to start going to the gym right after school, as before I would just come home and do homework. I still feel lost in my path, but I’m continuing to pray to the Lord as I know he’s got me. One Bible verse that has helped me today is Ephesians 4:23-24, “Instead let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature, created to be like God- Truly righteous and holy.” That verse has helped me greatly, especially struggling with not only my addiction, but my mental health.
     
    Uphillfighter22 and bloomz like this.
  12. FindingTheLight

    FindingTheLight Fapstronaut

    36
    34
    18
    Day 9:
    When your worn down, it’s hard to keep your watch out for lustful thoughts and glances. That’s what hurt me today. As I expected, school did wear me down, and I was overwhelmed. Towards the middle of the day I was tempted, but I persevered. It’s really hard when you feel disconnected from the Lord, but it’s important to trust that he’s still there, guiding you. One thing that’s been bothering me is the fact that no one in my family knows about what I’ve struggled with in the past. Obviously, I have an amazing group of guys that I’m doing a 40 day challenge with, so it’s not a secret, but I just feel like I should tell my family. I feel like I should, but I have no idea how, it would most likely create an awkward situation, and would cause me even more disconnect from them. I’m only 16, so I obviously don’t have a wife or anything. They probably won’t ever look at me the same. Anyway, that’s just been one thing that’s bothered me. But overall today was a good day, becuase I know the Lord is helping me. I took a cold shower, meditated, went to the gym, and spent time with the Lord. I also got some much needed work started at school. I know the Lord has been helping me, and I’m so grateful for that.
     
  13. bloomz

    bloomz Fapstronaut

    204
    777
    93
    Don’t ever tell your family. They would look at you like it’s a problem. Which it is, but they would see at something uncommon. Except it’s so common!!! Just my opinion
     
    Grandpa61 and FindingTheLight like this.
  14. Freddilmont

    Freddilmont Fapstronaut

    49
    43
    18
    Hello brother.
    Glad u made this far. Good luck for the rest of the journey. My advice is not to tell ur family. They may not understand u and even if they do u will awkward yourself as if the trust between u and ur family is something broken forever.
    Cheers
     
    FindingTheLight and bloomz like this.
  15. FindingTheLight

    FindingTheLight Fapstronaut

    36
    34
    18
    Day 10:
    Today was a good day. I’m understanding my relationship with the Lord better. I’m starting to realize that God is greater, and above any fear. God truly cares about us, and he cares so much that he gave his only son. Don’t get me wrong, today was rough. I’m constantly overwhelmed with fear, mostly from my mental illness. I’ve constantly been asking God for healing, but I realized, while I probably will keep asking, God has an amazing plan for me and I just need to believe in him, and be faithful to him and he will provide for me what I need. I trust in the Lord with all my heart, so while this mental illness may be drowning me with fear, God is always gonna be there guiding me. Anyway I just feel like I needed to get that off my chest, I just watched an amazing YouTube video talking about God’s Grace, and while for some reason it filled me with fear (Becuase of my mental illness) I understand things much better now, and understand God’s got me. Yes, I got tempted today, but, at least right now, I’m able to not let it get to me. Now, that could change, so I have to be prepared. Today, I meditated, went to the gym, took 2 cold showers (I’m about to take my 3rd one to ensure this temptation doesn’t get to me) (I know, that’s a lot of cold showers...) and I spent time with the Lord. Overall school did wear me down as expected but for some reason there’s always something pushing me forward, and I truly believe that’s God! Anyway, I love y’all and thank you so much for the motivation!
     
    Uphillfighter22 and bloomz like this.
  16. FindingTheLight

    FindingTheLight Fapstronaut

    36
    34
    18
    Day 11:
    Today was a good day. I meditated, took two cold showers, went to the gym and spend time with the Lord. Overall, there’s always the ups and downs of the day, but I got through them. I don’t really have much to say today as I’m pretty tired. But I see God helping me, especially through the battles of the day. I’ve been able to not feel as disconnected, and to come back to the Lord.
     
  17. FindingTheLight

    FindingTheLight Fapstronaut

    36
    34
    18
    Day 12:
    Today was a really bad day. I don’t really want to talk about it. My mental illness is hurting me, I feel hopeless... I feel like I can’t feel God or his presence. I don’t know how to describe how I’m feeling, it’s like a mix of sadness, and frustration. I just don’t understand why I struggle so much with this mental health issue. I’m still trying my absolute hardest to trust in the Lord.
     
  18. FindingTheLight

    FindingTheLight Fapstronaut

    36
    34
    18
    Day 13:
    Today was a really good day! I need to understand that these battles I get daily offer me an opportunity to show my trust in God! I got through the rough night last night and I’m fine! My eyes are opening to how much God has blessed me in my life! He has put so many amazing people in my life, and I trust that he is slowly healing me. I actually just got home from the gym where I played basketball with a group of amazing guys. I fully understand hat tomorrow could be a rough day, but I need to keep this scripture in my mind. James 1:2-3 says, “Consider it pure joy, My Brothers and Sisters, Whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.” I love y’all, and God is truly amazing!
     
  19. FindingTheLight

    FindingTheLight Fapstronaut

    36
    34
    18
    Day 14:
    2 weeks! I need to keep going though! Today was a ok day. Didn’t really do much. I went to the gym for a couple hours this morning then just watched tv all day. I’ve had some times today where I felt lonely, and hopeless, but I’m gonna keep pushing forward and trusting in the Lord!
     
    Grandpa61 likes this.
  20. Grandpa61

    Grandpa61 Fapstronaut

    334
    769
    93
    Hang in there my friend! Just keep putting yourself where God can do his work. Ask him to strengthen your faith. I’m praying for you my brother!
     
    FindingTheLight likes this.

Share This Page