Going bald.

Discussion in 'Off-topic Discussion' started by Infrasapiens, Dec 11, 2019.

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  1. Xexos

    Xexos Fapstronaut

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    My lifestyle would be similar to Saitama to be specific, living alone or at most with family and living day by day without thinking much about anything. I already feel as indifferent and not caring as he's. He's probably the most fictional character i can really relate to on a deep level.
     
  2. Infrasapiens

    Infrasapiens Fapstronaut

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    But Saitama goes outside his house quite often, sometimes for his own pleasure. Also he constantly feels miserable.
     
  3. Castielle

    Castielle Fapstronaut

    I'm sorry guys, but this is absolutely ridiculous. You're acting like children. So many people have given solid, sound advice, but you just latch onto the one person who gives you permission to wallow in self pity instead of improving yourself and having a healthy mindset. Putting this much value in your appearance is not healthy at all. And it's really freaking sad that you recognize that this isn't healthy, and are completely fine with it. I don't understand why you come ask for advice and support if you're just planning to ignore it all and become a hermit because you don't think you're attractive.

    But whatever, you do you I guess. You're gonna do whatever you want anyway, so I guess I wasted my energy trying to share my own personal story and give you advice.
     
  4. Caligula

    Caligula Fapstronaut

    It's not an opinion, it's a fact. 90% of guys will see their value drop in the eyes of 90% of women when they lose hair. Exceptions to the rule don't invalidate the rule. Also note that I did not say that the value drops to zero. Just that it goes down. Would you have had a crush on that guy you mentioned had he been better looking? I'm guessing you probably would.

    @Xexos @Infrasapiens the message was not supposed to make you give up. It was supposed to help you realize and acknowledge that balding IS a disadvantage and maybe even a serious one regardless of what nice people on the web will tell you. It's better to know than not to. Out of knowing and accepting reality emerges the "I don't give a fuck" attitude which in turn allows for an ugly fucking baldheads such as us to make themselves interesting enough to eventually become dateable even despite the follicular deficiency.

    Lookup the "bald and bankrupt" channel on youtube. It's a bald (duh) British guy who travels the world. He's happy, doesn't give a shit and seems to do fine with local cuties time and again.

    *"Full of shit" probably means lying as I've now discovered with the help of urban dictionary. I thought it means to be dead wrong.
     
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  5. Infrasapiens

    Infrasapiens Fapstronaut

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    I know, and I apologize. I actually hate when people ask for advice and just brushes it off, probably because I do it all the time.

    The thing is that, at least right now, nothing seems to work for me, not only with this but with other times I have asked for help. I know the best advice on this particular matter is just "Deal with it" as there is nothing to do about it, but that means I have to pretend all the (Social) bad stuff that comes with it is not real.

    Again, I apologize.
     
  6. Xexos

    Xexos Fapstronaut

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    So what are we supposed to do exactly? Beg women to date us? Assuming some woman finally agrees after tons or rejection, what do you think is going to happen in the relationship? First, her friends and family would constantly remind the woman how "better she could do" and that there's plenty of fullheaded guys to choose from instead of dating a bald loser. Second, the media would also constantly remind her how young bald men are usually thugs, pedophiles, losers, evil and how uncool and ridiculous baldness really is. Third, the woman is going to notice that all the men role-models in society are not bald, from presidents, to most successful actors, to models, which aligns with the stereotype that bald men are unattractive losers.

    Then the woman would either finally snap and break up or cheat and then we young bald men gained nothing out of this relationship except more pain and lower self esteem. It's the same with friends, most people wouldn't want to be seen in public with a young bald man since it's so rare, it's not considered normal and it might affect their social status and image and be in their way of interacting with and picking up women.

    That's what awaits an average bald man in his early 20's, add one more big flaw to the combo like being short or having acne and it's 10x worse. So, tell me with all your wisdom and positivity, what choice do we have? Do you truly believe it's better to go through all what i wrote in this post, than simply living alone in peace and finding contentment through other ways?

    It's basically like telling a crippled man that he's negative and depressing because he's given up his dream for a successful basket ball career and is now persuading other attainable dreams that he can achieve with his potential.
     
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  7. Infrasapiens

    Infrasapiens Fapstronaut

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    Dude, I think you are overreacting. People would just consider us weird and/or bad looking, not pedophiles or thugs.

    Also there are bald role-models. Sir Patrick Stuwart or however it is written, "The Rock" even when I don't like him, etc. Even Vladimir Putin. All bald.
     
  8. Xexos

    Xexos Fapstronaut

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    I'm not saying they would consider us pedophiles, but the stereotypical pedophile is always bald with horseshoe hair, which really doesn't add to our social image as bald men.

    Also i know there are bald role-models, maybe i should have clarified that in my post. But regardless, they're still a minority compared to men with hair.
     
  9. Castielle

    Castielle Fapstronaut

    Lol that is absolutely not a fact. Where did you get those statistics? Do you understand what a fact is? What study has been done on this that makes your random percentage of 90% valid? What you are stating is the definition of an opinion.

    Obviously people are more attracted to... people they find attractive. That doesn't need to be stated. But your random 90% BS is completely your own opinion. Plenty of women are attracted to bald guys. That actually is a fact, unlike your random statistics. But if you want to be cynical and only focus on the ones who might not be attracted to bald guys, then go right ahead. But don't say everything everyone else is saying here is "full of shit." My comment was completely genuine, and I put a lot of consideration into what I said.

    You need to learn what a fact is, though, dude. Spouting off random statistics you made up based on your own perception of the world, is not a fact.
     
  10. Castielle

    Castielle Fapstronaut

    It's not about pretending. It's about choosing joy. Choose to be grateful for what you have and to love yourself as you should. That is a choice. And when you start believing the lie that it isn't a choice, that's when you get yourself in trouble, because you allow your feelings to control you. It's okay to be upset. My first comment here shared my own personal experience with this issue, and yeah, it's upsetting. But I'm not hiding in my house telling myself that nobody will ever accept me or like me if I were to lose my hair. Because that's quite simply just completely not true. Tons of men are bald and have families and love and happy lives. You are believing lies, and you need to stop. I know it's not always easy, but you need to stop feeding into these lies and allowing people to tell you your worth is in how much hair you have. That's ridiculous and untrue.
     
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  11. Castielle

    Castielle Fapstronaut

    What about my post have you that idea? No... obviously you don't need to beg women to date you. You need to have some dang self worth. You shouldn't even be dating anyone if you don't have that first.

    I'm not going to read the rest of your comment. You keep spouting off all these complete BS lies, and you aren't going to believe me when I tell you they're lies, so what's the point in anything I have to say? I've already told you all of this is BS and not true, but you just don't care. So... not sure what else I can provide you in the way of advice, if you're not going to listen to any of it anyway.
     
  12. I started going bald in my early twenties, and am now 30 with around 50% of my hairline intact.

    It used to bother me at first... but now I cut it back to grade 1/2 and I wouldn't have it any other way. Seems to look great with a short beard, some muscle, and the right fashion choices.

    I dunno. I do empathise with people who fret about it, but the truth is that nobody actually cares apart from you. I'd say your time is better spent worrying about other things.
     
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  13. I am going to link this here, if you feel like Maxim as a site is triggering, then do not go. I will copy and paste some of the more salient posts below.


     
  14. THEBEATPOLICE

    THEBEATPOLICE Fapstronaut

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    im going bald to just try not to look at it.


    kind of like ive been able to ignore my ever-growing porn addiction by trying not to look at the problem
     
  15. Castielle

    Castielle Fapstronaut

    I will say, God humbled me pretty good when I was fretting over my hair loss (which isn't at the stage of actually balding yet, but is thinning a lotttt). I was feeling anxious and upset one day, and then I went to clean my client's house. She was recently diagnosed with a rare and aggressive form of cancer, and has lost all of her hair. The second I saw her, I realized pretty quickly how ungrateful I am to be worried about losing a bit of hair. At least I'm in good health, have money, a good home, family and friends who love me, etc. Life will always be easier to handle if you focus on what you have to be grateful for. You can always think of something to be unhappy about, no matter how good things are going in your life. So focus on the good things instead. Count your blessings, and thank the Lord for what you have.
     
  16. Infrasapiens

    Infrasapiens Fapstronaut

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    Besides the obvious worries, it is a personal matter too. I have never been a social person "until" I became sarcastic and started to make others laugh. A lot of people like me because I make them laugh, including in this forum. This is until I stop being funny, then I am seen as nothing and I'm ignored. Now I try to be funny all the time to the point I am now considered a walking joke. It is starting to get to me. I don't want to make people laugh anymore, but now that I am going bald and my appareance is going down, it will permantly become the only trait I will have to be sociable whether I like it or not (Being made fun of for being bald), and to be honest I preffer to isolate myself than to live as a buffoon all my life.
     
    Last edited: Dec 15, 2019
  17. Caligula

    Caligula Fapstronaut

    I find it interesting that you demand a research study into a trivial social phenomenon while at the same time feeling comfortable lecturing biologists on evolution.
     
  18. Caligula

    Caligula Fapstronaut

    I know what you mean. Being a clown is better than a hermit trust me. People will take you seriously even if you jest, don't fret.
     
  19. Stag99

    Stag99 Fapstronaut
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    A thought provoking thread.
    I myself started going bald in my early thirties.
    Started on rogaine for a year or so but it didn’t help much.
    It just made me grow some peach fuzz.
    So i lived with thinning hair for about 5 years or so and was very unhappy.
    I was lacking in self confidence, didn’t feel attractive, etc...

    Eventually i worked up the courage to shave my head clean.
    Initially, a few people had some negative comments like “dude, you should grow your hair back out” and what not, but my attitude at the time was “this is how i look now. Deal with it”.

    Eventually, i became very comfortable with the look and I actually enjoy shaving my head now. It’s a liberating experience as i no longer have to keep worrying about my thinning hair.
    It is a way of regaining control over your appearance vs allowing the thinning hair to dictate how you look and feel.

    I also have way more self confidence now than i did when my hair was thinning.
    Do fewer women “give you the eye” when you’re bald - i would say yes, to be completely honest. But as you get older, you come to realize that you don’t need every woman on earth to find you attractive to be happy...you just need one.
    And the women that don’t find you attractive are often superficial and not going to make you happy anyways. So being bald actually weeds out the women you shouldn’t be dating in the first place.

    Will some women still find you attractive as a bald man ?
    Absolutely.
    I’ve had attractive women at work ask me out on dates in front of their friends.
    The point i’m trying to make is it’s all in your head.
    You don’t need to hide in your apartment like a leper because you’re going bald.
    It’s psychologically unhealthy to do that, and completely unnecessary.
    Learn to love yourself unconditionally, build up your self esteem and get out and enjoy your life.
     
  20. Dim Meadow

    Dim Meadow Fapstronaut

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    Based on what other people have said until now it seems anyone worrying about their thinning hair is better off just shaving it off and seeing how life is for a month until it grows back
     
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