Going insane, suicidal thoughts, severe addiction, 5-15 times a day

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im 28 bro. been a dopamine fiend since 12 13 just like u and at 28 im barley starting to kick the habit. im 100 days pmo free, even i still cant believe it. so man up and stop feeling sorry for yourself. you can do it!

 

Hi! Im 33 and had exactly same problems as you. I started to M very young age like 7yo or something that evolved to P pretty in few years. Im going to tell you my experience how i have been almost 2 months without porn now.

I have had many failed attempts doing hard-mode without M or Psometimes worse and sometimes better. Until i tried different approach. I stopped trying hard-mode and being too hard on myself but made a strict rule that i dont watch porn and oh boy! let me tell you! I have not felt this good long time.

The difficulty comparison to hard-mode is very big. It is much easier but not and i mean NOT nearly so destructive as watching P. God has healed me in this journey i thank God for that and thats a different story im not going to get into that now, but i wanna tell you that when you can abstain from porn day by day, you feel better. I allowed myself in this journey to masturbate only when it got too hard or when i felt like absolutily shit because the brain is damaged because dopamine addiction. So i gave myself once in a while a relief. My biggest point in this thing is that when you watch porn, its very damaging and there is very deep darkness involving in it. If you only can be away from P you will make a big progress, the worst parts will fade away pretty quickly (fear, guilt, shame, pain, brain fog,adhd kind of symptons... the list goes on...) you will start getting your "human form" back and dont feel like the worst person.

You will get confident pretty quickly and start respecting yourself in a different view. When the road gets too hard or feelings are super-bad i allowed myself to masturbate and after that you feel the pressure is gone and very thankful that havent watched porn because thats the great evil.

Its now almost 2months now for me and there have been days when i have been feeling that im not in the mood to fight against the pressure so i just masturbate and dont watch P, several times somedays but its still not nearly as bad as porn. I have made a decision to not watch it again and i feel so much better. Masturbation is still a problem but as i told you, this approach was a decision to make by me and i have been most succesfull and felt better than ever. And it feels day by day that porn is fading away from my life and intrest to it also, i guess my identity is getting better. So im telling you man! You have great chance to change in small commitment, and you will get the out of the worst darkness.

So many people todays struggle with this darkness called porn and dont even realize how powerful effect it has in theyre lives. Believe me man, even tho you and me have been so long addicted, we can get ourselves to better wellness than many many many people today who doesent realize this. So its not really the time of the addiction or how much you have done it but how you are doing today! God bless you man!

 

With an addiction that severe it's definitely better to start slow. It would be great to just straight up quit, however I think that's going to be too much for you at the moment. Take it step by step, and start setting goals. You said '5-15 times a day' so start by doing no more then 5 a day. Once that becomes easier then start choosing 1-2 days a week that your not going to PMO and stay committed for just those days. Then slowly as that becomes easier increase your days of no PMO and decrease how many times you relapse in a day. It's going to be challenging, but it will definitely be worth it! I would also recommend having an Accountability Partner (AP), having someone to talk to about your addiction can prove to be very beneficial. Just know your not alone going through this and that their are so many people on NoFap that are supporting you, you got this!
Here's a great article to read on the effects of Porn on the brain:
https://oceanrecoverycentre.com/2016/07/the-ultimate-guide-to-overcoming-internet-porn-addiction/

 

Hi!

Nice to hear you have made progress. I have made 60 days now without P. Everytime the urges come and tries to get me to watch P, I just quickly masturbate and imagine things. It is is significantly more harmless to masturbate without P.

My point is not to encourage people to M. My point is that people who has severe addiction it might be better to take it slow and be not too hard to themselves because you might feel like a super-man today or tomowwor but suddently the darkness CAN come very hard on you and many relapse in this situation, so please take note what i have said. Just staying away from P no matter the cost will get you further. This is the approach i have had and i have made most progress than ever in my life. I have over 20 years of P addiction. Once again whatever you do or when you relapse, dont watch P !! If you must release the pressure, use the closed eyes masturbation as a weapon against the P. You will notice how it comes very quickly a habbit. And P starts to fade away pretty quickly, you will get over the worst part like this.

OFC you must be commited that you want to be free from it. Its not going to be easy, im just giving you some advice that might help you in the long run, and actually make some progress without frustration and thats dangerous because many surrender also. Do not underestimate P, its very powerful and destroys inner-self everytime you watch it.

 

Its good you have motive to keep on going, remember that you take one day at time and try not to push too hard. And what is most important, if you relapse dont throw the towel, every day you make progress you heal abit more. So take one day at time and keep the focus on the big picture whatever happens, this way you will see improvement in the longer run no matter what. The time goes by very fast so its important to keep the big picture on mind all the time and work one day at time. God bless you man!

 

you have literally "f*cked" yourself into oblivion. 5-15 times a day is borderline insane, and might literally kill you early. That is extremely unhealthy, and i am surprised you are even able to function. And yes your problems are bc of your porn addiction. that should be clear as day

now, i wish the best for you, but you need to read the "6 years clean rebooting as the best remedy", so you can recover.

 

dude, listen, am 25 years old too. On 2018, I was like you, I was addicted since the age of 11. 5 times a day too. Here I am now. After several attempts, now I am almost 1 year sober. I had the worst kinds of widrawal symptoms. I too thought I was going crazy and that life seemed meaningless and suicidal thoughts kicked in out of the blue.
I had to go through hell to get here. Now am good. not perfect , but good. I still get depressed from time to time. but hey, who doesn't. I don't even open my NoFap account anymore. maybe once every 2 months or so.
so hang tight my dude. You will go through hell, but certainly you are going to come out of this victorious.

 

depend on people, if you are fit and young you can go up to 20/day no problem.

 

Did u take antidepressent during withdrawls for brief period??

 

yeah, took them for a a week or so. I was unfortunate enough to do NoFap on myself; I didn't know what happened to me back then. PAWS I mean. One explanation was depression; that's why a doctor put me on SSRI's. Later I went and did my research. I found this website and knew I was going through PAWS and thus dropped the SSRI's

 

Currently I am Taking medication since 6 days.. I have to take it for 15 days... Will it slow or stop my progress. of healing my brain from depression and social anxiety

 

I'd dropp the SSRI's if u can function without them. Buy Magnesium and a B complex; they help a lot. Stick to a vegan diet and lots of omega 3 resources. You should be fine after some time.

 

I am taking fish oil capsules 1000 mg ( epa+ dha)... Dosent Other supplement cause harm if our body dont require it and i still take ??

 

At this level, yes, you are insane. I'm sorry, but this is the truth. Your glands in the brain are out of balance at this level, and such imbalance is madness. It's not that "you" are the one who is insane. This is a result of pressure on the glands, bad blood chemistry. You need to stop porn and sex. for one year and meditate a minimum of one hour a day. Do a google search on Kirtan Kriya, a breath of fire, and sat kriya. Sorry, this is the truth. You need to decide what is important to you, your life, or your neurosis. Most people will choose neurosis. I also masturbate from a young age. I used to masturbate 5-10 times a day. Better to stop now before it is much harder, trust me. You can create many problems and autoimmune diseases if you will keep going. All autoimmune problems are the result of a disturbance in the secretions from the glands in the body and brain.