Going insane, suicidal thoughts, severe addiction, 5-15 times a day

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by legolasian, Feb 26, 2021.

  1. C.HNF

    C.HNF Fapstronaut

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    nah man, just take them in moderation and in the recommended dosage
     
  2. Trailblazer7

    Trailblazer7 Fapstronaut

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    Hey man could you elaborate more on the withdrawal symptoms, my story is really similar to yours and now this is the first time in my life that I reach a +50 streak. I’m barely managing but I want to know what lies ahead to prepare myself. Any tips or things to watch out for?
     
  3. LonelyStranger2020

    LonelyStranger2020 Fapstronaut

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    Say it "Rabbee Auzobika min hamazatish Shayateen wa Auzobika Rabbee ay yahduroon" I seek refuge in GOD ALMIGHTY from Satan and I seek refuge lest he be near unto me". SAY IT OUT LOUD! I read your post this was me few years ago, you are not going crazy my friend, the devil is going crazy, the evil jinn is going crazy, it wants more n more. Hate the sin and don't give him anymore. You are not going crazy, they are. You are MUCH stronger than you think, breath slowly, FULLY INNNNNN the fresh new energy, FULLY Out the negative energy and sins. Now go n take a shower and imagine the water is purifying you washing away your filth. Apply perfume, relax, now if you want you can say "What have I been doing that is causing this, I have to hold myself to account, what have I been doing my Lord all day which is making me feel like this". Now say OH GOD FORGIVE ME, I won't do it again, I wil try not to pls help me" when making these prayers like your hand and face the palms towards the ceiling. Allow the heavenly energy to bless you. You are far from going crazy, you are just getting started. In the end there is a lesson waiting for you. When you come out of this darkness, you might regret it. Often times it is in the hard times that growth happens. Pay attention. Do not listen to rap music or anything that make you more crazy. Change to nice relaxing music. All the best
     
  4. Trailblazer7

    Trailblazer7 Fapstronaut

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    Do you by chance speak arabic homie?
     
  5. legolasian

    legolasian Fapstronaut

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    Relapsed heavy after day 9. Back on track, day 1 now.
    This might kill me but will do my best overcome this addiction.
     
  6. legolasian

    legolasian Fapstronaut

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    Yeah, kind of really extreme.. Dont know how i managed to end up so fucked up in life...
     
  7. legolasian

    legolasian Fapstronaut

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    I cant think straight man, there are no logic in my thinking. Always depressed and negative. Cant ease down my thoughts, they are racing non stop. I just might go insane. In the book "Think and grow rich" by napoleon hill, he says that sex can make a man into an insane beast. Im that insane beast at this point of time...
     
  8. legolasian

    legolasian Fapstronaut

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    I also was on SSRI for a 1 month. They said my sex drive would mimick. It didnt, it increased.. Actually i liked the pills, could have sex for hours ..
     
  9. legolasian

    legolasian Fapstronaut

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    Thanks man, will do my best better my life. My life depends on it.
     
  10. legolasian

    legolasian Fapstronaut

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    Im also suprised that I can function and what I have achieved with this addiction. Its pretty insane. People might think im kidding with the 5-15 times a day, but im seriosly not kidding about it. The urges never stop.
     
  11. legolasian

    legolasian Fapstronaut

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    Relapsed 8 times today, took a SSRI pill just to stop this binge.. fuck
     
    Johnthesavage likes this.
  12. You have to forgive yourself, @legolasian a lot of us have been there or done worse things besides. Things we regret. But since you have started, you have made the conscious decision to quit and even if you fail from time to time you are still on the path to recovery.

    Even though I say you need to forgive yourself, I think your anger will fuel your determination to quit and I have to disagree with some of the older comments on this thread that advise you to only cut back. You know you have to cut it all out. But you can't put yourself down. You will quit because this is not who you truly are and you are better than this. This is not a part of who you are.

    There's no magic pill to any of this, it's going to be difficult and require work, but there are so many people on the same road, trying to overcome the same thing, and you diminish their efforts even when you put down yourself saying you are fucked beyond repair and that it's hopeless and so forth. It's not and you're not!
     
    Buddhabro and ArMed_ElK like this.
  13. theres no way bro. 20 times a day? You will kill yourself doing that many times
     
  14. Dude you have to stop, do you hear me? seriously bro... you can't do this anymore. You are just killing yourself. Porn and masturbation are very very harmful, i dont care what the doctors say.

    Relapsing 8 times a day is just beyond fathomable, the toll on your body. You are on the 0.00001% extreme. Do anything and everything to stop. Tell someone irl about this. You are like a heroin addict, and you need as much help as you can get. You are gonna either die or ascend. This is utmost serious
     
  15. legolasian

    legolasian Fapstronaut

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    Thanks bro. Really needed that. Just saved me from relapsing. Been clean for two days, the two prior days before that i pmoed 2 times. Work in progress. Its beeb pretty insane. My brain, chemistry is haywire and fucked into oblivion.
     
    goodnice 2.0 likes this.
  16. legolasian

    legolasian Fapstronaut

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    Ive been pmoing that extreme since the age of 16. I started with 3 times a day. Its pretty crazy man..
     
  17. im glad my words helped. What you need is a wake up call or a rock bottom moment that causes you to 180 and get your life together. Cmon man, you are capable of so much more... think back to before you were 16, how you were, and the bright potential you had. its still there, lurking beneath the surfacce
     
  18. PMO addict1

    PMO addict1 Fapstronaut

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    I record of fapping is 35 times in A single day ( Which obviously , I m not prout of) my fre1uemcy of PMO was same as yours.... Insane Brain fog, Depression , Suicidal thoughts... And here I am 225 days free... Been On most intense withdrawls... Still in it but since last 15 days depression has improved alot...it may return in few days, who knows... But I will do what I can do .. and leave everything on the process... See my journal If u r interested
     
    Chris_Cactusblossom likes this.
  19. You're going through a bit of a meltdown, it seems, but sometimes this is God/the Universe's way of setting you on a new path. Just try to ride the thing out without freaking out too much. Scale back your expectations and try to set smaller goals, rather than trying to force everything to go back to the way it was before, which is what led you to where you are anyway. You might have to hit rock bottom so you can build something better for the future.
     
  20. legolasian

    legolasian Fapstronaut

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    Fuck, I have totally fucked myself to the point where I dont know how to unfuck myself. I mean the fucking urges are just fucking insane. And its fucking insane that I can function to a degree and still go to work and working on me ambitons. But it feels like im operating with 40% of what im capable of, and i need to operate at 120% to get where i want to be. But all i think of is fucking and fucking. never fucking stops.
     

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