Day 46 No urges yesterday again! When feelings start to form, I think of the most disgusting thing I can think of. That works wonders to immediately be somewhere else with my thoughts. Had a relaxing day yesterday. Work out: I took a long walk yesterday evening and did my small workout. I see a few gains, as I do this workout every day. Netflix: Watched a documentary about the life of an elder autistic man and who still lives with his parents. His life and his parents life are forever affected. Had difficulty not watching the Good Place anymore. But it’s for the best. Meditation: I did a 15 minute meditation and did 2 kinds of meditation. The first kind of meditation is just to sit there and relax. The second kind of meditation was a box meditation where I have a specific breathing pattern: 4 seconds in, 2 seconds hold, 4 seconds out, 2 seconds out. I could feel all the tension leave from my body. Your Brain On Porn / Study I’ve read up about Karezza. Do some of you have experiences with this? When I'm intimate with my girl, it already feels like the focus is on really being present, not on the O. We don’t even O. Are there more things to Karezza that you can recommend? Sleep + evening routine: Started my evening routine nice and early. Had the time to really settle myself before I would go to bed. Felt really relaxed upon closing my eyes
Day 47 It's quiet in urgeland. Sometimes it’s busy with urges and other times it’s quiet. When it’s busy, I know it will get quiet, and I will feel strong. When it’s quiet, I know it will get busy and that it will test my determination. And determination I have. I've built my streak through my routine and the support from my GF. Work out: I took a long walk yesterday evening. Netflix: Watched a documentary again for an hour and I found out how much I enjoy watching them. Always packed with information about life. Btw, I saw that I have lots of screentime. Have also set to minimize my screentime daily. Want to spend my energies on living, not on my telephone. Meditation: I did two kinds of meditation again yesterday evening. The first one was just sitting and relaxing and the second one was box breathing. Tension was really flowing from me and it seemed like I was very far away. I wasn’t asleep, but I was very deep inside of myself. Your Brain On Porn / Study I’ve read posts on NoFap for study. So many of you are doing so well! It's easy to start, but when it gets tough you need to persevere. I see that struggle happening a lot. When you are feeling that, please ask for help! Sleep + evening routine: I felt rotten yesterday, but I was able to start my routine early. Had the time to read a book and do my meditation.
Day 48 No urges whatsoever. Had a full day with activities for my own company. And in the evening I managed to keep my routine in place. Did some shoppings as my dad will come and visit today. Work out: I went for a 25 minute run in the forest yesterday afternoon. I was beat, but felt so good. In the evening I took a long walk while my legs were still sore. During my bedtime routine I did a short dumbbell workout and finished it off with 26 push ups. I want to be able to do more push ups and I think I can slowly build towards it. Netflix: I have minimized my screentime to 4,5 hours a day. Mind you, it usually is 9 hours. 4,5 hours still sounds like a lot and I think it really is, but I used to always have my smartphone in my hand. Very good to intentionally choose what you want to do with it. I was slightly overtime, but it was still half of my daily average. I have watched an hour of a documentary about people following their dreams and moving abroad to start their B&B. I admire their persistence, but I would never have followed through like them. Meditation: I had a lot of energy to meditate so I did 3 sessions and spent 25 minutes. First session was to relax, second session was self enquiry, third session was boxed breathing. I had so many thoughts today that I needed to quietly sit with them and deepen them out. That really worked. Your Brain On Porn / Study I picked up the book again and read about the fertilization fest in your brain that is happening when you PMO. Your brain is geared to go into overdrive when you see it, as it think it has hit the evolutionary jackpot. But it's not used for procreation. And that’s where the brain is not yet evolved enough to handle to our addiction. We need to create different pathways so that we are not continuously triggered by our ‘need’ to do PMO. Sleep + evening routine: I did a great routine and was in bed on time. Feel really well rested.
Day 49 It felt like my dick was on fire this morning. My GF came by yesterday and we became intimate, but we didn't have sex. I had no difficulty staying away from PMO, but flashes about our time yesterday came into my mind this morning. I feel good, but a little sleepy! Work out: My GF and I did a long evening walk. After I brought her home, I did my dumbbell routine and finished off with 20 push ups. Netflix: No Netflix or documentaries yesterday! Was busy hosting my dad yesterday and spent time with him. Meditation: I was home late after bringing my GF home, but I had plenty of energy meditating. I did 2 sessions of meditation and spent 15 minutes. Your Brain On Porn / Study I picked up the book and came across a portion where it spoke about the positive effects of stopping with PMO. I found it so striking ylthat I wanted to share it with you: “Quitting isn't a cure all for your life problems – but it is the foundation, a ploughed field in which you can sow seeds for a new future that isn't bedevilled by the secrecy and shame that comes with falling into the seemingly inescapable pit of porn related despair that so many of us know. A life of hope and strength – not jizzy tissues, jealousy, bitterness, self hatred, resentment and unfulfilled dreams.” Sleep + evening routine: Did my routine but was in bed late. Better luck today.
Day 50 – Woop woop I've hit an important mark and therefore I wanted to reflect on the past 50 days. What it has brought me so far: I've felt better than I have ever felt before, as the streaks build my confidence and my willpower. More self respect and strong. People see that. I see PMO now as a disease. The thought already has become so disgusting and the more I read about it, the more it averts me. PMO always is a slippery slope, so never assume that you're fully healed. I feel less anxious, less stressed out and less angry on myself. This has happened not only by stopping PMO, but by replacing my whole routine. I've always been bad with routines, but I feel it's so important to keep on doing it. Better bond with my GF. I tell her everything. The good, the bad and the ugly. I tell her my doubts and insecurities and she always helps me. The best sex ever. PMO had desensitized me to almost anything. These 50 days have given me my raw sexual energy back. Up to a lifetime without PMO!
Congratulations on the streak! At this time I'm not back to having the "raw sexual energy back" but it sure sounds like something good to wait for.
Yes! I spoke with my GF about it. It may lead to being too loose on certain things and then relapse. I'll keep going the way I'm going now without any changes in my routine. I'm still giving it my all.
Day 63 Finding myself connecting to old friends I have lost some touch with. I feel like I'm alot more confident around people, probably when I was PMing I carried alot of shame with me, it's not a good feeling knowing that an area in your life is not under your control what so ever. I felt tonight and last night like watching some porn, maybe it wouldn't have such a bad impact on my life but I feel like what's going on is so rewarding and great I'm not even gonna risk it. Hope to continue being strong against urges.
Keep resisting. Impact or no impact, those voices try to get you back. Don't go into them, as it will be a sliding back to square 1.
