Going out alone

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Innervision, Oct 19, 2019.

  1. Innervision

    Innervision Fapstronaut

    Hello, guys!
    I was wondering today about this topic and would appreciate your opinions about this: how strange you consider to go out at clubs and bars alone, without friends? You think it can be as enjoyable as with known company?
     
  2. browneyedguy

    browneyedguy Fapstronaut

    I don’t see it as a strange thing. One needs to learn to enjoy his or her own company. I usually travel alone for work and you learn how to strike up conversations with strangers after awhile. Best part of going out solo is that you can choose where to go and when to go home.

    Now this isn’t to say I’m in favor of going out alone all the time nor should anyone else, but it’s not a bad experience unless you make it one.
     
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  3. Hros

    Hros Fapstronaut

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    Seems fine to me. Can be a good time to process things in your life or mull over ideas and thoughts you may have.
     
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  4. chillgorilla123

    chillgorilla123 Fapstronaut

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    Nothing strange at all, as long as your intentions aren't strange! Flying solo can lead to amazing experiences if you have adventure in your intentions and move through with openness and curiosity! Be open to chaos and see where things take you!
     
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  5. Innervision

    Innervision Fapstronaut

    Thank you, guys! Insightful replies about the topic. I think the key is to be comfortable with yourself and the follow up is just consequence. stay strong!
     
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  6. Augie

    Augie Fapstronaut

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    I’ve gone to bars, movies, and concerts by myself. I’m not much for clubs but if I was I wouldn’t mind lone wolfing it.
     
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  7. Pjco

    Pjco Fapstronaut

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    It all depends on your frame of mind. When I’ve been feeling down and then go out to a bar or whatever, sometimes that feeling is actually exacerbated by feeling further isolated. When I am grounded and am enjoying the idea of my own company, then going out on my own can be great - because I’m not searching to ‘fix’ something (I call it not looking for an external solution to an internal problem - that’s largely what PMO and gambling have done for me in the past). Recently I have enjoyed going to the movies occasionally on my own or taking myself out for a meal. I take myself out for coffee and cake quite regularly to read or do work in a cafe.
     
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  8. Deepak678

    Deepak678 Fapstronaut

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    You can enjoy drinking alone in bars and watching movie alone in theaters, it depends on person to person ... Though I have never done this, I personally fell things get more enjoyable when you are around your people ... It can be fun doing alone, but it's more fun doing together:)
     
  9. Innervision

    Innervision Fapstronaut

    Exactly! It may seem esoteric or a new age thing, but as long you progress on reboot you can feel the true on this statements.

    I've gone to a club yesterday all by myself for the first time and was a enjoyable experience. Before that, I only have had one experience of that kind on a musical show and that was very sad and bad. The way you frame reality and your relationships within yourself defines much of your very reality.
     
  10. Get_It

    Get_It Fapstronaut

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    I've done it before and it's not a big deal unless you feel like it's a big deal for you.
     
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  11. Son of Midgaard

    Son of Midgaard Fapstronaut

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    First of Pjco, great post! Good in-depth analysis.

    I pondered going out alone this Saturday, but the feeling eluded me and I instead winded up creating yet another freakin tinder profile, even though I many times owed to never return to any dating app.

    I wish I have the opportunity go out by myself again, I see many advantages to this compared to say going out with too extreme people which I usually wind up doing, so going out alone might given the right social tools, being able to display valid social proof etc be the better option right now for me, until I find a more solid ingroup!
     
  12. Pjco

    Pjco Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for all the kudos, folks. Feeling appreciated and supported in my thinking. We all “know better”... it’s the following through with the “doing better” once we have that knowledge (that’s the hard part). regarding tinder/dating apps. In a similar vein to about your mode of thinking, dating apps are really just a tool, it’s a question of how you use it. In the past I have met some wonderful people and gone on some great dates through Tinder, POF (where I net my current partner), and Bumble. Though Tinder has the reputation for lacking meaningful connection and hookups, you can choose how to use the tool, and the way you interact with it and the people on it.
     
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  13. Son of Midgaard

    Son of Midgaard Fapstronaut

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    Agreed, and I choose to live without any dating app, whether it be called Tinder, Badoo, POF or what have you. I just for some fucking reason lack the ability to live accordingly to my core beliefs, where of one is not to drown generally extremely spoiled girls with a overly inflated sense of self worth in free attention. It is just really bad for my self-respect and integrity and I prefer living alone until my p*nis turns yellow if that is "what is out there for me".
     
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  14. Max666

    Max666 Fapstronaut

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    So you wanna go out on your own to pick up girls obviously. Good idea just bear in mind, girls ALWAYS travel in packs (without exception). So you'd be approach a 'group' of girls most likely (I dont mean to scare you off) that's the reality. In every group of girls there's usually one who has the job of protecting the flock from the wolves (usually the tallest...and ugliest). Unless you warm up to 'her', you will be a wolf and she'll try her best to intimidate you so you cower away. Think about it, if you get the phone number of her pretty friend, how will that make her feel? She's not quite as attractive.
    So my advice is when you approach a girl, acknowledge all her friends at the same time and treat them equally. Then zoom in. Play it smart.

    It's easier approaching a group of girls when you're with other guys obviously BUT if you're on your own and you walk up to her while she's with all her friends, straight away she'll think you have guts, especially if you tell her you're on your own right away. Women want strong courageous men. It's the #1 primal attraction.
     
    Last edited: Oct 21, 2019
  15. Nothing wrong with going out alone. I travel for work sometimes, and on my down time Ill go to a movie alone, go sit down at a nice restaurant alone, go shopping / mall alone. And I love it. Im good socially with people so thats not an issue for me, but I just enjoy being alone with myself. I can be happy alone or with people. I know some people that seem like they cant be alone, they need someone around at all times, whether its a relationship or friends. I feel bad for those people. Id hate to know that my happiness is based on others. Good luck.
     
  16. Son of Midgaard

    Son of Midgaard Fapstronaut

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    Very, very valid and good points you are making! I know I have been discouraged by this "ugly" or unsympathetic friend/aquaintance before and unfortunately I was not thinking in these terms but took it rather personally, which obviously made my chances and attractiveness to any girl present subpar. I guess being impulsive, a bit shy and a tad sensitive with girls probably could make Brad Pitt seem like a easy reject. I really wanna work on my social skills and I think going out with someone more sociable to sort of guide me through the process of approaching girls is the best first step.
     
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  17. Get_It

    Get_It Fapstronaut

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    This past baseball season, I regret not attempting to hit on this gal when I was there by myself. I should've just went for it, now I regret that I didn't make the attempt.
     
  18. Get_It

    Get_It Fapstronaut

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    I was reading this article the other day about this manlet that has two wives. The article had a pic of this guy and he was a uber manlet and not that attractive. I was shaking my head in disbelief but I admired the obvious confidence of this little dude. He was shorter than both of his wives. They were in one of those polyamourous relationships.
     
  19. vxlccm

    vxlccm Fapstronaut

    Yep, not a big deal, man. Movies is something I do alone on occasion when the family or I are out of town. It used to feel maybe a little out of place I was younger since so many others are on dates, but now it's like second nature. And, you never know who you'll meet.

    One cool thing I like is checking places out. You know, like scoping them out, trying new foods, etc. And, then when you do have a date, you're like "in the know" and more experienced. Ladies definitely like that angle and the confidence you'll feel will be a great addition to the date.

    Be you. Doing stuff alone is good selfcare. Someone will usually surprise you and maybe you'll meet a new lifelong friend one of these days :)
     
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  20. Son of Midgaard

    Son of Midgaard Fapstronaut

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    Yeah, seems to me guys these days, as the fabrique of society is so geared towards superficial attributes and physical appearance, guys today take way to much out of just looks. Look at me for instance, I was probably an 8 or 9 looks wise when I had would say I even had a shot at being picked by a girl at a bar or club. At that level, yes, looks can bring home the bacon, nowadays at a "mid-range" 6-7 lookswise, it is all down to game, of which I know I am still very much in a learning phase.
     
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