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Going out of order

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by Jka123, Sep 13, 2017.

  1. Jka123

    Jka123 Fapstronaut

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    So there is at least one girl I'm interested in in every one of my classes, I've spent about a week of thinking how to initiate a conversation without seeming creepy and working making eye contact and small conversations with girls when socially appropriate, then I realize I'm eating alone, I walk to class alone, there's only one guy in my classes that I have a semi friendly relationship with. I have no friends here, I have friends but none that live close by. I feel like I was trying to change the natural order of events by only focusing on possible relationships instead of building some acquaintances and friendship. In your experience does social growth follow a loose pattern or do you feel like I'm making excuses to avoid pursuing some of these women?
     
  2. Reborn16

    Reborn16 Fapstronaut

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    I say just have a chat, don't think about social norms or natural order so much.

    I'm in a similar situation in college with mainly women in my class, occasionally I just ask one of them how they went with the last exercise, and then it's just "talk talk talk", they naturally just talk heaps lol. So I encourage you to give it a go!

    I don't know anyone there btw, and I find it doable to talk to people in my class, but still a challenge for me to approach girls walking to other classes or around the cafeteria for example. Which sucks because they're the ones I want to ask out haha, but if you're interested in ones in your class that might be easier!
     
  3. BlueDragonfly

    BlueDragonfly Fapstronaut

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    I've realized this too. I've been working on being more social before I bother trying to have a relationship. Also, I'm not going to any dances or asking our a girl unless I get to know them first.
     
  4. Reborn16

    Reborn16 Fapstronaut

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    Sounds good man! I'm trying to do the same thing, working up the social skills first. Careful for the friend zone too though! If you chat to a girl and can make her laugh etc. you might want to ask her out sooner than later :)
     
  5. Got to Overcome

    Got to Overcome Fapstronaut

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    I'd definitely consider joining as many clubs and social groups as possible. They make it far easier to strike up conversations and develop friendships. Study groups would be a great option to meet those with similar academic interests, and intramural sports teams are a fun way to meet people and get in shape. Most universities have all kinds of groups, so choose a few you're interested in and go for it.

    And even if you're unable to meet a woman through these, they will help you build up your social network, which is important. Fair or not, a lot of women will see a guy who's constantly by himself and assume there might be a good reason for that.
     
  6. BlueDragonfly

    BlueDragonfly Fapstronaut

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    Well the thing is, I'm not doing it so I can get a girl, I'm doing it so that I can be comfortable having a relationship. I've known a good amount of girls that like me, and I'm certain they'd say yes if I asked them out. The thing is, I'm just not ready for a relationship. I've never even kissed a girl. I'm pretty much trying to catch up to everyone else.
     
  7. Reborn16

    Reborn16 Fapstronaut

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    That all sounds good man! Don't worry about catching up with everyone else though, just enjoy your own journey. But sounds like getting more comfortable (and looking out for a good girl in the process) is the way.
     

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