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Going through a very dark and weird phase, plz help

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Deleted Account, Oct 7, 2019.

  1. Hi.
    I watched porn and masturbated regularly before quitting it. I did amazingly until I relapsed after a week. I then did really good and did a 26 days streak and relapsed. After that, it's been like a hell for me. I abstained from porn and masturbation for 20 hours and then i relapsed. Then I did a two days streak and relapsed and watched porn and masturbated for two days straight. I am again quitting porn and masturbation. But my mind is trying to trick me. My mind is trying to build some patterns which are pushing me to masturbate two more times. Now i don't know why it is exactly two more times. It's like that pattern is repeating all the time in my mind. But i don't want to make my life a hell. I also battled OCD and had brought it under control. But I'm thinking that things are falling apart, and I'm damn sure that this is also an illusion that my mind is trying to create. My fear for number 3 is also getting strong. So plz help me win against my demons. I'll be grateful for your help.

    Thank you
     
  2. Just do what you did on your other streaks only this time don't relapse.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  3. Hey, you're clearly in a binge, just get out of your head for a moment, write down what you're thinking, how you're feeling before you go through with it and step outside. I know the feeling because I have been through many but you've got to learn to control that urge.

    Do things you may like, mine are drawing, walking the dog or playing music but we all have our own thing. If you feel it's getting too much then turn that phone or PC off and get the hell out of there! No peeking, no nothing. JUST GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE!

    You'll go through many of these times trust me, but after each one just look back on what mistakes you made. Were you alone? Was you bored? How sad was you feeling? When you come to recognise these it makes it easier to cope because once you feel those, you know it's about to happen. Keep strong! You'll pull through this!
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  4. Thanks buddy!
    I'll try my best to not relapse.
     
  5. Thanks buddy!
    I get these urges which my mind makes me think are compulsory. Without doing them, I think I cannot begin for a positive change in my life. I mastered my mind and was able to control these compulsive urges, but I lost the confidence when I broke my longest streak.
    I will try my best to control them again.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  6. That is because you have proven your brain that it can trade with you, that you are weak and that you can be broken. Tell your brain that this is over now, and that you're heading for a 3 months break now. And tell your brain also, that after that you will ejaculate in a vagina only.
    Tell him that you want it to work for you now, no longer against you. It's your brain, master it.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  7. Thanks buddy!
    This does work. I got rid of the earlier thinking pattern, but my brain made another one. This is when I got to know that doing the rituals and compulsions is just bulls**t. It was very hard on day one. I had to put a lot of efforts even while reading something. But today, I feel a bit confident and less distressed than yesterday.
     

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