Gonna lose my marriage if I don't fix this

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by gottastopthis87, Jan 24, 2023.

  1. gottastopthis87

    gottastopthis87 New Fapstronaut

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    Hi all,

    I am 35 years old, I have had this problem since I was a teenager. I was first in therapy for porn addiction when I was 17. I met my wife when I was 19, so that means I have spent the last 16 years in a relationship with her sneaking around looking at a metric fuckton of porn, intermittently getting caught, and downplaying (lying) about how severe my addiction is. Full of shame the whole time, so much so that it just got baked into who I am. Now we have an 8 month old daughter who I love more than anything on earth, and I am about to throw it all away if I can't quit this. You see, on Sunday, my wife caught me looking at porn while holding our sleeping baby in my arms (turns out the resolution on baby monitors is waaaay higher than I thought it was). What the fuck, what kind of a person would do that? Me, I guess.

    I have been given one last chance to quit this for good, but it has been made clear that if she ever catches me looking at any kind of porn ever again, she walks and I never get to see my daughter again.

    I think I'm a bit older than most people on here, but if there's anyone else at my same stage in life who wants to be an accountability buddy or something like that, please let me know.

    And to all of you in your late teens or early twenties - try your best to kick this habit/addiction now. You don't want to end up where I am.
     
    IntelAction74 likes this.
  2. Steamboat Mickey

    Steamboat Mickey Fapstronaut

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    I am 45 and would be happy to help. PM me if interested.
     
  3. Robindale

    Robindale Fapstronaut

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    Tough to read your story, but know the path. The betrayal trauma we cause for our wives is real. I hope she is seeing someone for her to process things with. But you, you’ve got to take decisive action now. That means therapy, support group, 12 Step program, whatever it takes and decisive action that shows her she, your baby, and this marriage mean that much to you that you’ll do whatever it takes to overcome this. I am in the midst of that now. Much older than you and happy to help if you want it. PM me if interested. Be well.
     
    gottastopthis87 likes this.
  4. IntelAction74

    IntelAction74 Fapstronaut

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    New here but happy to try and help, appreciate you sharing that too. I’m also in need of an AP and to take control of this or my wife will leave me.
     
    gottastopthis87 likes this.

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