Good morning/At Whit's End

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by mstevens, Jan 14, 2016.

  1. mstevens

    mstevens Guest

    Hello,

    My name is Matt Stevens...and honestly, this is the most difficult introduction I've had to make on a forum. I am addicted to pornography...despite being clean since February 2015. The attacks are getting worse...and I cannot pin point why they keep arising. Someone suggested a support group...and after researching I heard a lot of good things about NoFap.

    More about me, I have been married for 6 years to the woman of my dreams, we have 2 beautiful little girls (2 months and 2 years old). I am a blessed man, but my addiction has had me in a stranglehold since a very young age, approximately, 13-14 years old if I remember correctly. Back in February 2015 I came clean. I told my wife, my pastor and a close friend of mine about my addiction. Our marriage had it's struggles since I was nothing but a <insert insulting word here> to her and saw her as nothing more than a means to an end.

    We (my wife and I) have come a long way, and have a much stronger and stable relationship now than ever before. My Pastor and friend have been a huge support to me through this struggle. But I still need support, thus NoFap.

    The attacks are bad, really bad. They happen at completely unexpected times. I even find myself pondering looking it up at work (please note: I even have someone sitting next to me that could look over at any time and see what I am doing). I'm scared...and I need help from those who understand where my struggle is. Please, I beg you, help me. I want to stay clean and I feel myself slipping.

    I plan to join a group, as I could really use a support team right now. Thank you for taking your time and reading my plea.
     
    thomasnl and bearbones like this.
  2. Septimus

    Septimus Fapstronaut

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    Welcome! See the link at the end of this comment.
     
  3. bearbones

    bearbones Fapstronaut

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    Welcome Matt. I am glad you signed up. I have been battling porn addiction for about six months without much substantial success. My (now ex) girlfriend suggested I might have problem and brought the issue to my attention. We were waiting for marriage to have sex, and she had a zero-tolerance policy about porn. I've been using porn since about age 10 and lost my virginity at 13; I criticized her sharply and thought she was out of her mind, and insisted that I needed and deserved some sort of release. A few weeks later, I realized I'd given up a healthy, happy relationship with the woman of my dreams in favor of countless lonely hours in front of my laptop in a darkened room. Insanity. I suffer from other addictions, and recognized my addictive tendencies and behaviors manifesting in my porn use (and even in my sexual relations throughout my life). I started reading about these issues and even attended a couple support groups and retreats, but its been difficult to find a group that resonates and produces long-term results.

    I'm so grateful for this website and network. I found Nofap quite by accident, while looking up porn on the verge of a relapse after a week or so clean. I chose instead to read up about the effects of porn and started reading success stories. The next day I signed up.

    God bless you for going nearly a year on your own! I could not do that. But this site has provided some very useful and powerful tools to resist PMO. Drop me a line any time, this works much better when we're helping one another, and I know our prayers will not go unheard! Peace be with you, brother, you're in the right place.
     
    Last edited: Jan 15, 2016
    Rav70, mstevens and thomasnl like this.
  4. Erikson.Wei

    Erikson.Wei New Fapstronaut

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  5. April Full

    April Full Fapstronaut

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    Drop me a line anytime, I'll be checking in here regularly weekend as I head for my first 7 days porn free in years. You'll be helping me bro!
     
    Rav70, mstevens and bearbones like this.
  6. April Full

    April Full Fapstronaut

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  7. April Full

    April Full Fapstronaut

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    Hi again, I'm still trying to figure out this site works a nd build a support group. There seem to be hundreds if not thousands of people on this site so maybe we can stay in touch n help each other at least temporarily. I know is important I have a group/sponsor/accountability partner. Animo
     
  8. mstevens

    mstevens Guest

    I'll gladly help out as much as I possibly can! :D
     
  9. April Full

    April Full Fapstronaut

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  10. April Full

    April Full Fapstronaut

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    Just read your post and I agree we need to help each other otherwise it's curtains. Stay strong.
     
    mstevens likes this.
  11. Ancalagon

    Ancalagon Fapstronaut

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    Every decision, no matter how small, no matter whether anybody else ever knows that you chose to look away from that ad instead of looking at it, it all makes a difference and it's all investing in your family.
     
    bearbones and mstevens like this.

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