Got caught meditating

Discussion in 'Off-topic Discussion' started by LonelyDude21, Feb 26, 2019.

  1. LonelyDude21

    LonelyDude21 Fapstronaut

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    I locked the door and planned to meditate for 20 mins.
    And i ended up sleeping.
    I got too relaxed and i layed down from sitting. Which caused me to sleep.
    Then while i sleep, my mom opened the door and took a funny picture of me with my sleeping eye mask, wearing headphones with my mouth open.
    Bruh it's embarassing but it'll be way more worse if i was caught fapping right?
    Proud 57 days
     
  2. Congratulation for 57 days! What type of meditation were you practising?
     
  3. LonelyDude21

    LonelyDude21 Fapstronaut

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    Just observing my breath through my nose. I suffer from intrusive thoughts. And i can say this really reduce the thoughts from coming out oftenly.
    Do you meditate too? If so, how long have you been doing it?
     
    u376 likes this.
  4. I used to do meditation, yes, but not anymore. Even if someone would offer me millions of dollars I would not meditate again.
     
  5. Well... now I'm intrigued.

    Why would you never meditate again?

    *cues dramatic music for your intense and dramatic backstory that explains your reasons on why you'd NEVER meditate again*
     
  6. ImpureHuman

    ImpureHuman Fapstronaut

    Like this addiction, it will take few years to achieve meditative state.
    Continues practice, but we can see some change in the way we respond to the situations after a few months of practice.
    For me, meditation can't stop me from habit. The psychological conditioning of P is so strong.
     
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  7. I do not wish to spam with offtopic, lets say i found that counterproductive if someone wants to beat an addiction.
     
  8. ImpureHuman

    ImpureHuman Fapstronaut

    This is true with this addiction. If we meditate to get rid of this addiction, in my opinion, we ended up thinking more about P, memories and fantasies.
     
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  9. I would recommend meditating in standing position until you develop enough focus and awareness to not fall asleep.

    But it's great that you meditate. It is extremely powerful tool to help you beat addiction. When we meditate and develop mindfulness and focus it's so much more easier to deal with urges. There are different types of meditations of course but my favorite is vipassana mindfulness meditation. Because it trains you to confront your urges by directly observing them, instead of running away from them and distracting yourself, which is very powerful method for preventing relapse once you get a hang of it. It builds self discipline and will power a lot and trains you to see these urges for what they are - passing and false sense of pleasure. Absolutely best type of meditation for dealing with addictions in my opinion.
     
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  10. SolitaryScribe

    SolitaryScribe Fapstronaut

    Hmmmmm.. This is quite interesting. I may have a reason why this happened to you, and in a sense i do agree with you that meditation can open up doors for evil. It can also lead to no benefit.

    My theory is, meditation, just like any other aspect of life, if not done properly can cause more harm then good. I think there is a modern misconception that meditation is always healthy/beneficial but i don't think that's true. I think there is a form of meditation which can be healthy and beneficial, but there is also a form that can cause damage or delusion.

    If you don't mind i would like to hear a bit more detail about your experience if your comfortable
     
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  11. ImpureHuman

    ImpureHuman Fapstronaut

    If without proper guidance from an experienced person, ie, one who experienced the energies in himself, meditation can lead to problems. I read many accounts where people did meditation by reading from books and ended up in delusion and pain when they activated the energy body without developing the necessary physical body to sustain it
     
  12. LonelyDude21

    LonelyDude21 Fapstronaut

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    Standing while meditating?
    I mean shouldn't we be relaxed when he meditate? Standing is tiring lol
     
  13. "meditating"
    "wearing headphones"

    You're only fooling yourself man.
     
  14. LonelyDude21

    LonelyDude21 Fapstronaut

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    Bruh there's several videos of meditating sounds, guides, peaceful, forest, rain sounds on youtube. What you mean bruh?
     
  15. That's the problem! You are too relaxed. To the point that you fall asleep. And no, meditation is not about relaxation, it's about developing concentration and mindfulness. Relaxation can help you to get into deeper state of meditation, but if you fall asleep before that happens then there is no point.

    Another option is walking meditation, even less relaxing that simply standing. Or you could do meditation where your eyes are open. That might help too.

    It's good to do meditations in different positions, in my opinion. Because then you condition your mind to be aware in different states. For example if all you do is sitting meditation then you might become more mindful while sitting, but some of that might get lost when you stand up. But if you do it also standing then you will condition your mind and link awareness with standing position. So in your daily life when you stand in line for example your mind will automatically be more mindful and focused.

    That also could be a problem. Firstly because these sounds can be very distracting from meditation. For a beginner it's best to meditate in silence. Your mind is already distracting enough. Your thoughts will distract you from present moment and your meditation object anyhow, no point to introduce even more distractions on top of it. And secondly that seems like very relaxing. Again, not good if you tend to fall asleep. If you are too relaxed you lose consciousness and if you are too alert it's hard to get in a state. You want to strike a proper balance between being relaxed and being alert.
     
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  16. LonelyDude21

    LonelyDude21 Fapstronaut

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    I just finished meditating and saw that you posted not too long ago.
    Oh well, i guess i'll try the standing meditation tomorrow then. But hmm,
    So, meditating should be at all position if possible right? Whether is laying down, sitting, standing or even walking.
    I'll try doing it all, but how can one meditate while walking? That's just the same as just walking because we need our eyes to be open.
    Psps. I did meditation a bunch of times already, i was just really sleepy yesterday and i accidentally fell asleep. So this happened only once. And uh, the sounds are great for me honestly, i usually do meditation while listening to calming sound or binaural beats. Nowadays, i listen to guided meditation and that works well too. But you seem like a someone who had done meditation for quite some time. I'll guess i should do it without any sounds then. But actually, it's my house that's noisy because my parents watching tv or my brother playing games at the other room etc. I use this meditation sounds to cover up this more distracting sounds in my house. Anyway, honestly, i don't find the sounds distracting, i listen to like sounds in water and i feel legit disconnected with my thoughts.
     
  17. What meditation you are doing anyways? There are many types. I do vipassana mindfulness meditation where we focus on breath. But then once some sense or thoughts comes up we try to be aware of all the thoughts/senses and observe them from objective perspective. So if I would hear some pleasant sound of birds I would try to objectively observe it without indulging in it, and if some annoying sound of video game would come up I would try to objectively observe it without disliking it. Or if my mind would start to enjoy/dislike it I would objectively observe the mind's judgement of it. Then eventually return back to observing breath, until something else would come up in my awareness - sound, itching nose, thought, mind's judgement (liking, disliking, etc).

    The point in this meditation is to develop awareness of all the senses and mind's patterns. And separate yourself from them. The result is that because you are separate from all of it and aware of all of it we would no longer be triggered by any thought, emotion, desire or irrational judgement. And would not get lost in fantasy world, being pulled out of present moment. That all gives us more freedom (free will, because there is no free will if we are unconscious of the fact that we have choice, if we are in trigger > reaction pattern loop, awareness brakes that loop) and peace from painful emotions, thoughts and situations.

    If your method of meditation is different then there might be different instructions for it. You really have to know what is that what you are doing.

    You can do meditation with sounds and while sitting or laying down. It's not wrong, it's just harder to maintain focus and awareness, that's all. That's why it's not best for beginners in my opinion. But if you think you can handle it then cool.
    Ideally yes.
    Closed eyes makes of less distractions which lets you get into deeper state of meditation. Same as complete silence or sitting rather than standing. But meditation is about awareness/mindfulness and/or focus/concentration (or both, deepening from method and goal). You meditate while walking the same as you meditate while sitting - you are aware of things and/or focus on breath (or whatever object you are focusing in your method). It's just that you introduce new things to be aware of. In this case your sight and body movements. Other than that nothing really changes from sitting meditation.
    Being disconnected with you thoughts in my method is not a good thing, because it implies lack of awareness and mindfulness. Unless by "disconnected" you mean having less thoughts and not less awareness of thoughts.

    But it might be a good thing if you are doing one of these methods where you just focus on one object, such a breath, and try to avoid everything else. In this case the sound of water could be a meditation object itself, instead of breath.
     
  18. fredisthebes

    fredisthebes Fapstronaut

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    A bit cruel of your mom to be honest. I hope she deleted the photo if it embarrassed you? Shouldn't she know better than to come in on you if you have locked the door?

    But, yes, nothing to be embarrassed about re: meditation! Hope it helps you and you keep doing whatever works!
     
  19. LonelyDude21

    LonelyDude21 Fapstronaut

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    I guess i would say that my type of meditation is same as yours. I just focus on my breathe through my nose and just observe. But hmmm, you said that if any thoughts appeared, observe the thoughts without liking or disliking it. Then come back to observing my breathe. This is something that i never did. Instead when a thought pops up, i just ignore it and think of something else or think of complete darkness. Which is why i use the sleeping eye mask to ensure complete darkness of my sight.
    Or maybe a kind of thought i have can be a scene at school or anywhere. Then i would just follow that thought to wherever it goes(Like maybe in class i'm just casually studying, or maybe looking at my crush, she looks back, it can be surrealistic sometimes like a horse appear out of nowhere? Idk.)
    I don't think i really use the "breathe" meditation technique correctly. Because i always forget to focus on my breathe and end up indulging or judging the thoughts.
    But anyway, i'm ok with "normal" or casual thoughts but what i'm trying to overcome is my actual intrusive thoughts. It's really weird but uh take Miley Cyrus as an example(or anyone ugly(or seem ugly). Her face keeps popping up in my head and her name keeps whispering ("Miley Cyrus"Miley Cyrus"Miley Cyrus) well i kinda have this thoughts with a bunch of people that i know of and it's funny that some of these people i've never actually talked to for quite a long time or even spoke to them voluntarily(like a classmate, i only talk to him/her when a teacher ask me to discuss about work). What triggers the thoughts? I'm really not sure. But what i know is that my mind judge them to be ugly/annoying or identify them as negative in general. I have this thoughts for 2 years. And after 2 years i decided to do nofap because it hinders me everytime i want to fap or watch porn. Honestly, i didn't really want to stop PMO, but because of this intrusive thoughts i just couldn't do it anymore. Anyway, the thoughts do decrease ever since i started meditation. I feel disconnected with them but they still appear in my head daily. I mean i don't even have a relationship with these people at all and/or haven't seen them in months but they still do appear in my head randomly. So i just want to find a way how to stop these same thoughts from appearing randomly. Like really, just by looking at the wall or just day dreaming i would randomly think of them. And also as i write this post. But hmm, actually, i guess doing stuff like, watching porn, looking at anything attractive or listening to something nice reminds me of them. Maybe because, last time, when i watch porn or when i fap and the thought appears and i tried to fight back by talking to myself to stop while getting frustrated but the thoughts still won't stop even if i do so. Maybe because of dopamine? I mean porn makes the brain produce lots of dopamine,
    Plus emotional feelings (frustration), while the thoughts appear and constantly appearing everytime i fap to porn, it becomes attached in my mind? I don't even know but i regret not stopping when the thought comes. Whatever it is dude, i just hope that my intrusive thoughts will end as soon as possible with the practice of mediation. I'll take your advices and try to apply them into my mediation sessions. From now on, no sound, close eyes, and just focus on my breathe. While laying down(before bed) sitting, standing and walking(maybe not, but i'll try find a safe, quiet , free space to walk and meditate).
     
    Last edited: Feb 27, 2019
  20. When thought comes up you and you have observed it for what it is without liking/disliking the best way is not to replace it with another though but to return focus back on meditation object (your breath). Otherwise you are still thinking (only this time about darkness or something else) and conditioning your brain to indulge in thoughts. Thinking = thinking= thinking.
    No man, that doesn't really work that way. Here you are just putting subjective judgement on thoughts (you dislike annoying thoughts, so you judge them as bad, and you judge other thoughts as "normal", cos you don't dislike them). But as far as your brain is concerned all thoughts are the same. Random thoughts will come up all the time. Sometimes they are pleasant and sometimes not. But you can't get rid of unpleasant ones only. Your brain sees no difference. You have to condition your mind to not indulge in random thoughts at all, even what you judge as "normal" or"casual" thoughts (think only when you consciously choose to, not because your brain automatically throws them at you, even if they are pleasant). That will give you the most powerful results.
    Yea, that's not good. It means you do not have strong concentration and mindfulness yet. Don't worry though, it will come with practice. Exercising your brain is like exercising your muscles, it takes time.
    You already experiencing some results, that's awesome. Just stick to it, be consistent and they will go away eventually. The key is to observe a thought from objective perspective without indulging in it or judging it as good or bad. Indulging in thought feeds it giving it more energy to last longer, and it also conditions the mind to bring it up again later. Trying to resist the thought gives it more energy too, because you can not resist something which is not there. So by resisting you kind of keep it there only in subconscious. If you observe it though without resisting or indulging it will lose energy and eventually your mind will stop bringing them up.

    A good method, to make sure you are actually observing it objectively, is to name it. So for example when you get these thoughts say to yourself (in your mind) "thinking" while you watch the thought. Or say "annoyed", "disliking", etc. For "normal" thoughts say also "thinking". Then return to breath. Do this in your daily life always when these thoughts come up, you don't have to be sitting in meditation. Like for example now I can just become instantly aware and mindful of this present moment by saying to myself "sitting", "thinking", "typing", "seeing", etc while I am typing this forum reply. Naming things objectively like this anchors your awareness in objective reality. Helps it not to slip away into indulging or judgement.

    :emoji_v::emoji_thumbsup:
     
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