Got caught meditating

Discussion in 'Off-topic Discussion' started by LonelyDude21, Feb 26, 2019.

  1. They sell it for free like it has no side effects. I said meditation no good idea for addiction recovery because you practise to detach yourself from...yourself, your emotions, feelings, and you teach your brain how to enter in an altered, close to trance like mode, that sure feel relaxing, but next time when you see a trigger your brain will put you in some kind of meditative state again, and you will just observe as your brain run in auto mode, and get what it wants.
    That my opinion, meditation is a big no, if you want to free from relapses.
     
  2. SolitaryScribe

    SolitaryScribe Fapstronaut

    I think you hit the nail on the head. Meditating becomes dangerous when the goal of meditations is 'nothingness' or 'detachment'. I have my own belief's on proper meditation and what the goal or center should be. But nonetheless, when it comes to the issue of PMO, detaching yourself from your emotions is not the proper solution. If anything it is the opposite. We need to pay much more close attention to our emotions and desires. What we actually need to do is master our desires, not detach from them. When we master our desires, we can refocus them to things which are beneficial.

    Not sure if you've ever read the great divorce by C.S Lewis, but there was a section in there that really struck me. There was a character in the book who had this lizard on his shoulder that would constantly whisper in his ear and fill him up with negativity. The lizard kept telling the man that he would be nothing without him. However the man was becoming sicker from this lizard, so an angel went up to him and asked him if he would like him to cut off the lizard for him. The man was extremely hesitant at first and kept putting it off, however after a while he agreed. So the angel went up to him with a hot blazing sword ready to cut off the lizard, but whenever he got close to the man, the man would begin to panic and yell till eventually he was able to stand still so the angel could cut off the lizard. When the lizard was cut off is squirmed on the floor... however after a while it began to transform. The lizard transformed into a white stallion which the man took and rod off into the mountain (which was referring to heaven in the book). The lizard represented that mans desires which had control over him, and when the angel cut it off it was transformed into a horse which represents desires which we master.
     
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  3. LonelyDude21

    LonelyDude21 Fapstronaut

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    Oh well i wasn't replying at all when i was inside the room. And the picture? Err, she likes to take pictures of me and my siblings. Althought i am annoyed by it, if she's happy, i'm alright with it :)
    And thanks for the well-wishes.
     
  4. LonelyDude21

    LonelyDude21 Fapstronaut

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    Sometimes i don't realize that i'm judging.
    But i think i'm better at realizing that.
    But uh, just observing, i think i still have troubles with that.
    I just finished meditating, i realize that i was more annoyed with the whispers. Questions start to pop up "What if the thought isn't an image" and things like (for e.g.) Marina's name keep being repeated in my head. Also, i thought, what if i didn't replace the intrusive thoughts by thinking of something else or thinking of complete darkness. But i just stare into the darkness which is in reality as i close my eyes and also covered it with a sleeping eye mask. Also, other then just focusing on my breathe, would it be the same if i focus on an itch, or a slight pain or discomfort anywhere in the body or even my head(like my eye). Is it a way of meditation if i observe any of these?
    And uh like i said, i still have difficulties just observing an intrusive thought. It's just very disturbing for me, so i just keep changing that image. I mean did try to focus back on my breathe or even try to blank my thoughts or just stare in the darkness. The third option can sometimes work, but usually i only get calm when i recreate the image into something less disturbing. And err....... i feel like the breathing meditation method isn't really effective for me, since i don't really "feel" anything from it unlike pain and i can't really focus on it. Not saying i would cut myself to feel pain just for the sake of meditating, i mean, you get the point. If there's any meditation object other then the breathe, what would it be? // Andd, i didn't meditate while standing today cause i had physical education lesson today and i felt quite tired. Maybe i'll try it tomorrow.
    Ps. Thanks for all the info and support you've given me so far
     
    Last edited: Feb 28, 2019
  5. Glad to see you are on the path of meditation mate. As far as finding it hard to focus on your breath, you may find it helpful to look at it like this: I might find it hard to do 50 pressups. So, doing 50 pressups will strengthen my body. Of course there is such a thing as too challenging though- up to you to find the balance.

    Ease into a practice slowly and keep an eye on how it affects you. If it's bringing to the surface things that are very distressing etc, consider seeing a mental health professional about these.

    Here's a copy and paste of a previous message I sent about meditation...dunno if I posted it to you already or not...

    "This first video doesn't cover the kind of meditation I was recommending,, but it shows a couple of techniques which can have a more immediate effect in terms of relaxation. The trick is remembering to use them when in tense moments, raging, or whatever...





    Obviously you'll wanna use common sense in deciding how and when using these works best for you. Don't worry about the app he's using in the second technique- I just use a downloadable metronome, or youtube metronome video, set on 60 BPM...or you can count on a clock if its not too distracting...whatever works for you. When you're doing it, expect your thoughts to be all over the place, but when you notice that, try to bring your attention back to the breathing. Don't worry if your mind spins off again in seconds, just keep bringing it back.



    - - - - -



    Now into the meat of real meditation, the stuff that has all sorts of positive effects over a longer term.



    - - - - -

    Breath Based Meditation:

    Most everyone agrees that simple breath counting is the best for beginners. A lot of this stuff developed within the Buddhist tradition, these links will reflect that but that's irrelevant, it doesn't matter what you think of Buddhism. A completely secular instructor would instruct the same methods. These links are just the most simple, straight into it guides I've seen.

    Scroll down to 'how to meditate' here - https://buddhaimonia.com/blog/how-to-meditate-for-beginners

    DON'T SIT IN LOTUS / HALF LOTUS...this can fuck up your knees and back in serious ways, especially for us westerners with limited mobility cos of being used to chairs etc. Just try to find a firm seat that is flat (shitloads of western chairs slant backwards which is fucking retarded for your back but that's another story), and sit upright.

    When you're ready for more detail, and to understand how to meditate a bit better, these links are excellent...just ignore all the corny stuff about chanting and altars and what have you, the 1-2 videos in each which cover basic practice method are all you need...


    http://zenwest.ca/site/orientation-to-zen-week-one/

    http://zenwest.ca/site/orientation-to-zen-week-two/

    http://zenwest.ca/site/orientation-to-zen-week-three/

    http://zenwest.ca/site/orientation-to-zen-week-four/



    - - - -



    An alternative starting point:

    If you're not feeling the breath focus, or you're completely lost with it and need something a bit 'bigger' to focus on, Def Jam head honcho Russell Simmons introduces a different way for beginners here: skip to 53 minutes in - (The whole talk is good btw. And he did end up introducing it to Chicago schoolkids- the violence level plummeted through the floor)


    Some notes:



    Expect for you mind to wander like a mothefucker nearly constantly at first. This can feel frustrating but it's a part of it.

    You can't stop thoughts arising in your mind through some act of will- like in some Bruce Lee movie 'clear your mind.' The majority of therapists etc agree on this. You can, however, change how you RESPOND to the thoughts. In the case of meditation, noticing that you're thinking about what's for dinner or blowjobs or how much you hate that guy you were talking too earlier, and gently bringing your focus back to the breath. Over and over and over again.

    Don't expect it to be some easy hippy shit where you're just blissed out, it can be the opposite. You're not keeping occupied all the time, so nasty emotions can come up- this is part of it. Or you might just be bored shitless- deal with it."
     
  6. lol meditation should not be embarassing, but i get it, in america meditation is for weirdos, especially down here in the south, but i say screw them, i meditate all the time, i started by doing it infront of my family, next i will try doing it in public, once you do it enough you wont feel weird, its kinda like when i started wearing chokers, i felt like people would judge me but that was like a year ago and i forget i have it on half the time.
     
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  7. LonelyDude21

    LonelyDude21 Fapstronaut

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    I mean, yeah meditation can be weird to someone people. But uh, a man wearing chokers? I'm not sure how to describe it. Though, maybe some cute kpop idols may look good on them. But idk if you're a average-looking person like me, i'm pretty sure people would do more than just judging, actions will be taken into place because my mom, other family members and friends would go againts it. Here in my country, many would call it "Gay" if i wear it(you can say what's wrong with that, but being gay is just like being a lol/joke to many people in my country) or some would call it "Slay" for those who support lgbt. Idk why but yeah, if a guys wear makeup, chokers, fishnet pants with tight clothes, they'd(the other lgbt supporters) be like " Damn sistarr you slayy !!", i find it really annoying lol.
     
  8. Come on dude I'm trying to eat over here!
     
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  9. i wear chokers because they fit my punk aesthetic, and i could care less what others call me or think about it, good for them.
     
  10. PenisIllustrator123

    PenisIllustrator123 Fapstronaut

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    Meditating is nothing to be ashamed of. It's an awesome habbit and you should be proud that you're taking time off from your schedule to do it. It will transform you and help you a lot if you build consistency.
    Try both of these books - The Power of Now and The Four Agreements . Will help you understand what the mind does, and deepen your practice.
    Also, try a good meditating app like calm! Any questions, feel free to ask. Good luck
     
  11. If you wanna be anything like the punks round here with all their patches, you'll end up looking like a homeless Formula One car.
     
  12. this is my style, and i dont plan on looking homeless lol, i like the rebel look.
     

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  13. I do agree, a lot of those files with audio of forest, rain, etc. are absolutely beautiful to listen to (especially when studying!)

    However, true meditation is all about strengthening the mind, and making mental connections with yourself and your body. Using music is sort of like a crutch/training wheels, where you are relying on external stimulus to get yourself to a meditative state, when meditation should be about creating the mental strength to achieve this state completely on your own.

    We all have to take off the training wheels at some time, or we will never truly grow.
     
    LonelyDude21 likes this.
  14. This is why naming method is so good, it helps to pull you back from getting lost into objective reality. If you want to learn more abut this particular method you could check out these links:
    https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL603BD0B03E12F5A1
    https://static.sirimangalo.org/howto/HTM.pdf
    http://www.buddhanet.net/m_part1.htm

    Meditation itself of course is completely secular. It's just brain exercise. But most of them originate from eastern religions. Same as yoga stretching. This particular one also originated from Buddhism. But you don't have to understand or care about any of that stuff for it to work. Just as you don't have to understand anything about Hinduism (from which Yoga originated and where the purpose of Yoga is spiritual enlightenment) to reap exercise benefits of muscle stretching. So just check those links out, I think this method is explained better there than I can here.
    Anything can be a meditation object. Breath is just a default where you start and where you return to. If something other comes up or you feel suits better use that. Just keep naming it objectively like "itching", "itching" (and repeat that in your mind while observing it) or "pain", "pain", "pain", etc while observing it in your head or wherever it is. Also when you breath you should name that as well - "breathing", "breathing", etc in your mind while focusing on breath. Like I said, naming things like that will help you to stay objective and not get lost into indulging or judging. Check the links above for better explanations.
    In meditation method that I do and recommend to others anything can be a meditation object. Any sound you hear, any body sensation you fell, any movement, sight, smell, thought, etc. And it does not have to be static. Object can change many times during meditation session. First we start by focusing on breath saying to ourselves quietly in head (while focusing on breath) "breathing", "breathing", breathing". Then eventually something will come up on it's own, for example your nose start itching, then we just focus on that instead and say (not out loud, just in our mind) "itching", "itching", etc. Once it stops itching we return back to breath. If thought comes up we repeat "thinking", if we dislike thought we repeat "disliking", if we start resisting it we repeat "resisting" etc. You get the point.

    This kind of naming is called a "mantra". Only instead of some magical nonsense phrase our mintra is whatever we observe in our present moment. So essentially it's a mantra meditation haha.
     
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  15. Fair enough. Each to their own I suppose.
     
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  16. LonelyDude21

    LonelyDude21 Fapstronaut

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    Oh lol, i mean that's ok then.
    Then you i assume you have long hair, and use eyeliner, piercing. Right?
     
  17. LonelyDude21

    LonelyDude21 Fapstronaut

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    Yeah i know, nothing to be ashamed of but i mean, you want want to try something new, at first, there will be some awkward feeling at it.
    Thanks for the app suggestion, i'll check it out soon.
    For books, errm i don't really like to read books. But thanks anyway.
     
  18. i had long hair like a week ago than i cut it, and piercings yes. Never been big into makeup.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 2, 2019
  19. Consider changing that.
     
  20. Meditation Monk

    Meditation Monk Fapstronaut

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    I meditate every day so far. I suggest you try for thehonestguys on youtube. They are the best. And then I go for reading audiobooks or watching black and white movies on youtube. I have a laptop, so I use Adblock Pro plus which blocks every single advertisement on youtube. It is for free too. Good luck. Like right now, I am watching The black book 1949. in black and white.
     

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