Got dumped

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Merlionno, Jul 3, 2016.

  1. Merlionno

    Merlionno Guest

    My girlfriend just dumped me and i feel depressed angry and again suicidal.
    I cant sleep at night and wake up crying i dont know what to do anymore....
    Any tips for getting over her?
     
  2. BlackKnight

    BlackKnight Fapstronaut

    360
    152
    43
    Focus on bettering yourself. It's just one girl; there are plenty out there. Don't fap at all. Go to the gym and turn your frustration into all kindz of gains. Mediatate and disperss all the bad emotion
     
  3. hej då

    hej då Fapstronaut

    396
    190
    43
    I still get angry and frustrated from time to time over the divorce. It's not that it controls my life or anything. This is the time for you to grow. Grow my friend!
     
    Headspace, black_coyote and Merlionno like this.
  4. vulture175

    vulture175 Fapstronaut

    any reason? she got a new bf? did she insult you?
     
  5. rk123

    rk123 Fapstronaut

    40
    42
    18
    hey just listen one thing, i read it somewhere in this community. 'girl is just part of your life, not a goal of your destiny at all'. So just keep calm and be positive.
     
  6. Merlionno

    Merlionno Guest

    No reason at all that is what pisses me off the most
     
  7. Willpower23

    Willpower23 Fapstronaut

    51
    19
    8
    @Merlionno , by any chance does she know about the whole PMO thing? and we're young bro and woman our age don't know what they want (we do but we're pervs:cool:) and idk maybe for her she had you and thought "wasn't wat i expected and left" and decided to leave?

    happened to me around the time for my first relationship, i'm black and she was spanish/white and within a week of dating she randomly cheats on me and leaves my ass, i didn't get mad and figured she was talking to a couple while we were talking and i happened to ask her out first but wasn't sexual at the time and was only thinking about doing actual things...anyways met her later with 2 kids with 2 different dads and she told me that i wasn't as fun (popular bcuz i was fucking fun and i know i'm funny) but cute. and didn't wanna waste my time. which was cool because i was so over it and looking at it atm when i seen her again i said"dammmmn what a bullet i dodged:eek:" thank you god for not letting me be the stereo type of a american black male.

    but yeaa...lets find that special one and make her the happiest woman in the world. but whatever comes first bro;)
     
    Merlionno and Deleted Account like this.
  8. Willpower23

    Willpower23 Fapstronaut

    51
    19
    8
    for ppl who read my post and go "damn man, wtf?" i'm sorry its so early i the morning and idk what else to do and don't wanna get any urges. please bare with me for the next few months, i'll be out everyone's hair once i have a really hang of my addiction:(
     
  9. Merlionno

    Merlionno Guest

    Yeah man told her about my porn addiction mabey I should not have who knows but fuck it I will never trust a woman whith my feelings again. Nice guys always get screwed over I will just visit prostitutes from now on and have girls just as friends
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  10. Willpower23

    Willpower23 Fapstronaut

    51
    19
    8
    @Merlionno , yeaa man, these woman be shallow man. and yeaa i wouldnt say anything unless ur in a long term relationship and you SO is understanding or feel like they would.. i still wouldnt say shit but yeaa
     
  11. @Merlionno

    Hello Mate,

    those are hard times...

    What I would do:

    1. Delete her number.

    Reason: You need to get over her. No number in your phone = no contact with her. (If you want, save it somewhere where will you have no access to it not less than 50 days).

    2. If she calls you, do not respond. If she texts you, do not respond. Do not block her though...

    Reason: Sometimes, the one who breaks up the relationship will try to come back. (usually, these rebound situations are short lived and cause MUCH MORE DAMAGE (which can even last for years))

    3. Hit a gym. Now it's the time to get fit. Get your best.

    Reason: Endorphines get released during exercise. You will feel better and you will look better.

    4. Get groomed, buy some new clothes and go out. Start to meet other girls. Don't do one night stands. Set your standards high. Avoid night clubs (they are good for one night stands but not so good for quality girls)

    5. Christian or Not, watch: "Jason Evert How to Save Your Marriage... Before You Meet Your Spouse" on Youtube...

    There is a theory that if you delay sex in new/next relationship, you can actually create deeper connection. Deeper connection = Solid base for Relationship.

    6. Do not go for online dating!

    7. Make a routine to avoid feeling down. I was doing 20 push ups... when I felt badly.
    //
    The idea is that you need to get over her, not sit at home and be down all day long.

    If you want to see her again, it is your call but do it after 50/60 days and on your terms.

    If so make sure that you are over her. (if NOT, DO NOT GO for it as it can cause massive damage to you...)

    Lastly, if you are 20, break up always feels like the end of the world. The thing is, that stuff like this happens and I am sure that there is a better person waiting for you out there. There always is.

    If you meet your significant one, do not hurry it and do not get sexual quickly.

    Good Luck and God Bless!
     
  12. Cockyau

    Cockyau Fapstronaut

    92
    56
    18
    Well, if you are a great man, her loss.
    She's not the right girl. Plenty of girls, you will meet one better at a certain point of your life.;)

    Head's up! Back straight! Old saying, " life is full of ups and downs."
    Life can't be all ups. Cheers
     
    WarriorScarr and Merlionno like this.
  13. vulture175

    vulture175 Fapstronaut

    @Merlionno : so how are you feeling now? you're feeling better? i think this happened to me a week ago too. i got hurt right when i was emotional and i thought i'm in love. she pulls me in her fantasy, makes me feel like she loves me too, and i was blinded by her trick. and when i'm tooo happy just enough, then she turns back, and i got hit, and it was hurt.
    and finally understand, be careful with our emotions. i always remind myself "the most happy moment is the most dangerous moment". i think, in a healthy relationship, both should know the darkness of each other, else all promises of love are lies.
    [​IMG]
     
    Merlionno likes this.
  14. IGY

    IGY Guest

    That's disgusting @Willpower23! :mad:
     
    oversexedsami likes this.
  15. let
    let it go. move on and forgive her, now that does not mean you have to like her. but you got to move on in life. I still think about old friends, quite frankly, it does no good to me or any one. I try to quit thinking about old friends my self. its hard. I know, but you got to move on.
     
  16. :):):)forgive and forget. let it go . :):):) and stay positive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
     
    Merlionno likes this.
  17. Learn from it. Most of us men are both absolutely terrible at attracting women, and equally if not more terrible at keeping them around once we get in a relationship with them. Most of us treat relationships like outdoor plants (i.e. plant it and it'll grow) when in actual fact they're much more akin to indoor plants - i.e. need to be watered/fed and cared for on the regular, and tended to appropriately, or they'll die. We also tend to have really misguided ideas about how to actually care for said relationships even if we do get around to it.

    The other thing to learn from it is to adopt a different attitude to relationships. We form very strong attachments when we get into relationships, despite the fact that it is only the minority of our relationships that will endure - we treat it as if every single relationship is to be the "one" that lasts a lifetime, and then beat ourselves up about it when that proves not to be the case. The mind works in irrational ways as far as love and infatuation are concerned.

    Once someone becomes a strong part of our life we come to believe that they should always be ours, but there's a great quote by Osho that I love:

    "If you love a flower, don't pick it up.
    Because if you pick it up it dies and it ceases to be what you love.
    So if you love a flower, let it be.
    Love is not about possession.
    Love is about appreciation."


    If you can go into relationships with that attitude, you won't find yourself dependent on the relationship in such a way that it'll hurt so much if things later end. You'll also find though that the relationship likely lasts longer and goes much better.

    Wanting to be just friends with an ex can work - but you need some space before that's really going to work. So as much as you feel you want to talk to her right now, cut all contact for at least a few months. I'm great friends with one of my ex's, but it took us 2-3 years of no communication before we were able to go back to being friends. Don't rush into trying to get her to be friends with you now when emotions are still running high and wounds are still sore for both of you - otherwise you risk just pushing her away permanently and never getting the chance to be friends with her again. If you give her the space she needs for a few months, you may find she is more than willing to be friends as she sees you've handled it maturely.

    ----

    Remind yourself of the cyclical nature of relationships. All but one of your relationships will fail. Every single person entering a relationship that wasn't their first, has a 100% failure record for relationships so far. That's most people on this planet. That's a whole ton of failed relationships, so you have to be prepared for them when they happen, rather than blindly hoping that you're going to be the exception to the rule. You can find that perfect relationship that doesn't end - but you'll most probably have to go through several shorter lasting ones before you find it, so don't lose hope because of a failure along the way!

    As they say: "I believe the path to success is paved with bricks of failure and mortar of rejection. To say, I don't want to fail, is to say, I don't want to succeed."

    Success usually never greets us on the first attempt, but only after several of those attempts gone wrong. None of those failures is a problem - it is merely a stepping stone, with lessons to be learned, and growth to be had.

    Once we're able to take a more realistic view of relationships like that - something funny happens, because we start treating our relationships more healthily and with less needy attachment, and as a result, they go much better - and we have a much higher chance of the relationship being that one that really does last.

    Back on the subject of the cyclical nature of relationships. Just as it's highly probable you'll have other breakups in the future. It's even more probable than that, that you'll feel just as strongly for someone new, as you do currently for the girl you just lost. You will love again, possibly many times. Each time is new and exciting, and each time hurts when it ends, but the ride is well worth it. So work on yourself, be strong, and get excited for the next ride. It's waiting just around the corner the moment you're ready for it! :)
     
  18. Merlionno

    Merlionno Guest

    Keep dreaming about her every night will this torture ever stop ??
     
  19. Merlionno

    Merlionno Guest

    Deleted her number hoping it will help
     
  20. vulture175

    vulture175 Fapstronaut

    @Merlionno : just like chaser in pmo. what do you do to get rid of chaser?
     

Share This Page