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Got my first girlfriend ever thanks to nofap... and ruined it because of PMO

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Marte, Sep 16, 2019.

  1. Marte

    Marte New Fapstronaut

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    In the 6 years during which I was addicted to PMO (2015,2016,2017,2018 and 2019 until august), I was NEVER able to emotionally connect with anybody. Most of my "friends" were only acquaintances. I was never able to maintain a girl's interest long enough to form a relationship and it was not until I was 16 that I finally kissed a girl (Let's call her Venus) at my friend's birthday party.
    I joined the PUA community, hoping they would help me solve my problem. And although I did improve my game and outer self-esteem dramatically, I was still needy. Why I was needy? Because I'd never addressed my hentai addiction properly until my mentor, let's call him Jupiter, convinced me to leave it.
    The first week was super-hard; I would edge every day. But it was my relationship with girls what was the worst aspect of my life during that week. I behaved needier than ever, and seeing the thighs of a lady was enough to trigger anxiety.
    As the second week came, my crush confessed to me. I remember it as coming home from a bad day (My classmates gave me a cookie they had previously put into their underwear, yewwwk) and seeing her message. I thought I had finally found someone to share my happiness and connect with. Everything was alright until Saturday.
    What happened on Saturday? It was my friend's birthday again... and Venus was there again. In short, I was very drunk and lost my virginity to Venus in my friend's bathroom. I did it because I was so desperate to have sex (PMO is to blame for that as well)
    Today, I still regret what I did to my crush. I miss her with my life and lost every interest in other girls. I am so fucking disappointed at me for breaking both our hearts (Because cheating strikes back and hurts as twice, believe me when I say I will never do it again.
    I often have nightmares about my ex and about the cheating. I am not sure I will ever be able to find a girl to emotionally connect with because of the type of person I am. Arrogant and selfish...
    Anyway, please do learn from my mistakes and NEVER cheat on anyone, no matter how desperate you are. DO NOT DO IT
     
    ManHvnBnd and NF SINCE BIRTH like this.
  2. Brethren you made a mistake but its not the end of the world. I feel your pain and sorrow and I empathize with you. The best thing that you can do now is to try to better than you were when you made the initial mistake. Ask yourself what did you learn from that incident and how can you prevent that from happening again. That is where the real growth comes in.
     
    NF SINCE BIRTH and ANewFocus like this.
  3. SuperiorMan95

    SuperiorMan95 Fapstronaut

    Yeah, I think you are taking it very hard. I mean yeah, you fucked up but it's not the end of the world. You need to focus on you for a while. Connect to your purpose. Find out what you want out of life. The girl thing? Enjoy the process without putting too much pressure on yourself. Develop your game gently. I would suggest going for girls that aren't super attractive. Go for girls that are nice and don't intimidate you too much. Learn to appreciate the opposite sex. Build momentum.
     
  4. Some of us on there have been down that road my friend. We are guy's.. Of course when we get the chance we'll most likely take it, because it's nature to go out and have sex with another woman. Loose the arrogance and selfishness my friend... Fill that up with your heart and you will exceed further. Your heart will heal you and make you stronger for your next big crush.

    Being intoxicated is one of the worst things we can do, especially at a party scenario. I have some embarrassing stories because I was not myself. I lost a friend because I was too touchy with her one night and I would of probably had sex with her if I was not overly drunk... Ever since I have been doing my best to lay off the alcohol.

    It is poison and also show's our true self some times up to a point where we can't control our actions. You will have another crush man.


    I've had a hentai addiction for a while to my friend way back when I was younger.. I believe it made me nervous and more h**** around woman. Then it came to a point when I watched it and it didn't do anything for me.. I gave it up..
    You can do the same man and good luck. :)

    TrueSaiyan
     
    NF SINCE BIRTH likes this.
  5. Stay strong. Sad story but dont linger on the past too long. Take your time to heal and when you are ready you will find a new girl.
     

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