Got tinnitus - Trying to implement NoFap

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Sentinel, Jan 16, 2015.

  1. Sentinel

    Sentinel Fapstronaut

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    So I'm on day 16, I've always had mild insomnia but now I've got no sleep pattern whatsoever, my stress levels reached maximum + anxious and I've been awake for more than 30 hrs in the past 2 days. Cravings are one of the reasons.

    Now my tinnitus, a very high pitched one, is more clear than it was before and it's hard to relax in silence. Like when you're sick and your head doesn't feel right.

    Has any of you experienced anything similar or have any tips for this? NoFap is hard as fuck as it is already and this ringing in my left ear doesn't help at all.

    Anything would be appreciated.
     
  2. 011214

    011214 Fapstronaut

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    Hi Red Deer
    It sounds like you're having a rough time. Tinnitus, that's the ringing in the ears? I have a little of that but nothing like you're describing. I have had sleep issues in the past and this often coincided with porn use. It's become a lot easier to fall asleep now, after a year of sobriety, but there are some difficult nights. I use meditation practices, focus on breathing, sometimes I count backwards from 1000, starting over anytime my mind starts going elsewhere. These are all helpful for coping with the symptom, but if you really want to find healing you have to go deep. Where does your anxiety come from? What are you ultimately afraid of? We all have false beliefs and our false beliefs lead to all kinds of issues. It's really necessary that you start addressing those false beliefs and replacing them with truth. For example, as an ex-porn user, you might have operated under the false belief that you don't deserve real human connection and that you had to look after your own needs. Replace this false belief with the truth that you deserve real love. Not lies.
    There's a lot more I could say. Feel free to share more either here or privately. I'd be happy to help. It does get better if you're willing to do the work. You deserve the life you've always deeply wanted.
     
  3. Sentinel

    Sentinel Fapstronaut

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    Thank you very much and sorry for the late reply.
    Yeah, I've had insomnia for more than 4 years, the past year (2014) being the worst and been and PMO addict too. Well, my tinnitus is still there, but a lot less dominating than when I posted this thread.

    I panicked, so I started running/jogging, sleeping whenever I could and eating as healthy as possible after I heard that sound! As a result, I'm now sleeping before midnight and waking up every morning at 6-7 am without an alarm clock. AND I'm 24 days PMO free - longest record ever.

    I do have false beliefs that I don't deserve a real human being, especially when I see other couples having passionate loving relationships. I can't imagine myself in that picture and it makes me envy them. And as always one negative thought leads to another. Then you start getting jealous over their car, job, confidence etc.
    To be perfectly clear, I have been rejected before, where I thought there was more.
    At the moment, I'm kinda in recovery mode, building up my personality, integrity, taking back my talents and so forth. PMO is a big part of it, if not the biggest part. It is/was connected to all the other low feelings .
     
  4. 011214

    011214 Fapstronaut

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    It might be helpful to take a closer look at that false belief. Make a list of how that false belief impacts your self-perception, your perception of others, and the way you relate to others. Afterwards, replace your false belief with a true one. Make the statement, "I do deserve real love." Now make a list of ways that that belief would impact your self-perception, your perception of others and the way you relate to others.

    There are differing opinions on this, but I have found it helpful to reflect on the root of my false beliefs. I can recall experiencing shame at 5 years old and I can see how quickly that defined my way of relating to others and my self-perception. Think back to the earliest memory when you felt like you didn't deserve love. Imagine that that boy still lives inside of you. He needs love and acceptance. He needs to heal.

    One of the key words for me this past year has been surrender. We think that what we want, and what would prove that we are valuable men, is a healthy sex life with a partner who is always loving and never disappoints us. So we fixate on that as measure for our success as men. What I think we really, deeply want is peace and happiness. Let that be your true goal. Surrender all your false beliefs of how your going to achieve that state of being.

    I have had a partner through this past year of recovery. She has been integral to my process of recovery but that doesn't mean she's been this perfect angel who has been completely understanding and gracious. It's been a brutal year and we both have a lot of healing to do.

    The root of all my false beliefs still comes down to the fear that I don't deserve love inherently. That I have to earn it. That I am not worthy to receive it. I guess I share that because when I've been single and struggling with the same fear, I've believed, falsely, that if I just found the right partner everything would be okay. It's not true. Healing has to come from within. The support of others is of tremendous help but you can't rely on another person to validate your existence. You must come to fully accept and celebrate the truth that you are fully deserving of more love than you can even imagine. Without doing this you could find your dream girl and shortly discover that you are unable to receive all that she has to offer you because you'll still believe that you don't deserve it. That's what happened to me, and that's why it wasn't long after I fell in love with her that I started looking at porn again. I didn't believe I deserved the real thing.

    Now, after a year of recovery I still struggle with my false beliefs, but my consciousness of them makes a world of a difference.
     

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