Grasping for control

When some of us reboot, we don't think much about porn and there isn't much of a craving. This gives the brain the time it needs to forget and establish very different habits. The way you are running right now, your mind may not even know it is rebooting (with constant thoughts of sex and women). Your environment is very much working against you currently and you might consider modifying it to where it encourages you to take very different actions. A little bit of entertainment is a good thing, but it seems like most of what you list are simply ways to pass the time. I think you could come up with projects and life goals that are far more enriching, challenging and complex. There are tons of businesses out there in the world doing very interesting things to help the world move forward. When you have thought of what you want to do, start building the habit. When you think about nudity/porn/etc, slowly turn your attention from that to your more important life goals. It helps to pick something or a few things that you have a great deal of motivation to pursue.

Like other posters have said, sometimes it helps to just look in the mirror and say, 'NO MORE'. This is working for me to help beat a binging habit that I have now. Counters can provide motivation, but if you decide never again to porn, you can starting putting things like that out of your mind. After all you are never going to do it again, so what point do you have in thinking about it all the time? I think you might also benefit from a bit of a libido reduction or flatline. Be happy if/when that hits. When I am not in your shoes, this is easy for me to say, but it might be a whole different ballgame inside your head with such a powerful libido (mine is very high, but still not completely overwhelming).

 

Have you tried the meditation route as an alternative to turning to an easier distraction? I have often turned to easier distractions (in my case often food or exercise), but in the end constant context switching didn't really leave me feeling in control of myself and my life. I should be able to center myself instead and refocus my energy. I look at it and say, I am not the type of man to be guided from activity to activity by my emotions or by what seems easy to me. I am definitely not going to let my entire life be driven by pixels. I am going to be more self directed instead.

For me, the WANT side of it is a deep passion for learning. I combine my interests with strong life goals and the motivation is there (if it isn't I am going about it wrong plain and simple). I definitely like the way you have been able to avoid critical triggers and have a fallback. However, you may be ready to take that next step in a few days time (or now). At some point, you have to make a change where you are not fighting against yourself so much of the time. If you truly forget about porn and sexuality for a bit, you might be surprised what comes to mind. It helps to have some sort of vehicle to make that smooth transition.

In my case, I had a bit of struggle with my own wants lately. For a long time (maybe years), I have wanted to learn how to program in an imperative language. I knew that I'd need to be able to read other people's code, practice by doing, read books/learn theory, unit test, etc, but the pieces didn't really fall into place until nofap hit. I dug deep and discovered what I really liked to do and found a path that is the right fit for me (I chose doing programming challenges online). I had to realize what parts of it I was NOT interested in that were holding me back (I just don't have the drive to jump into open source projects and build a 'portfolio' of crap, seems too much like work to me; reading books also has some limitations and is not always interesting, good supplemental material but not the meat of it). But if I combined things I love (challenge of mathematics, computer science, problem solving, logic) that 'required' me to program in order to answer the 'fun' puzzles, then I am learning in a powerful way. My motivation is there and the side effect of learning imperative programming helps me in my day to day career (so it fits in the bigger picture).

That is an example of how you can turn one 'want' into another and shift your life focus for the better. Your motivation can very much do a 180 and you aren't at bad point for that to start happening now.

 

Meditation and mindfulness are always a good route. Finding something you enjoy (drawing, tv, exercise, etc.) is what will help the most. "Filling the void" as they call it. Boredom is your worse enemy here. I draw and read to fill my void. It works so well. I also use mindfulness and meditation.

It gets easier, you just have to stick with it bub. This shit is hard to get through, but if you can reach that hill (the first month) things get progressively better. Easier. I promise, just stick with it. Concentrate on your life and your family. Force yourself to understand that you want to do this to become better.

A better you.

 

I feel that too many instant gratifications are available for you - you're not allowing me yourself to get bored, I'm the same.

I always pick up my phone etc watch TV. I've been stressing about making myself do things a lot and can't seem to shake off the feet that are on my head so it feels.

Itll take time to remove them all, no psubs or digital stuff is a good way to go. Sometimes I feel that if I'm overdoing these changes or if I should go down proper full life control - whether I'm stressing myself out too much.

Find a balance between productivity and rest, let your rest be in nature for example