Grateful recovering sex addict

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by hockeyref33, Jan 9, 2019.

  1. hockeyref33

    hockeyref33 Fapstronaut

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    i'm a 44 yr old married male with 3 children. My sex addiction started at around 10 or 11 years old. It started with JO to catalogs of lingerie, moved to porn mags, onto the internet area of porn, to massage parlors and so on. it got much worse with starting to crossdress, chastity, and experimenting with men. i've been sober for 59 days today and i'm grateful for this.
     
  2. Welcome! There are many others here who share your experiences.

    I’m 51 yo, single never married. I got into gay porn as well as a lot of other genre. I almost hooked up with two men I had met but both times couldn’t bring myself to go through with it. I also got into wearing women’s undies as part of getting myself more sexually stimulated. It’s behind me now and it’s only women I seek to be with.

    Congrats on being two months sober. Your family needs you.

    Lots of men here who are supporting each other. There are also some punks here too who are not serious about all this but they are easy to spot and avoid.

    Best wishes to you!
     
  3. hockeyref33

    hockeyref33 Fapstronaut

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    Hopeforbrightfuture, Thank you for your support. I've never felt better. i wish i could say i never followed through with my urges. i can tell you how awful i felt afterwards. i've spent thousands of dollars on porn, lingerie, poppers, toys etc. I wish i could have all that money back.
     
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  4. The past is the past. I spent thousands of dollars too. Time for us to move on and support each other as we do it.
     
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  5. canuck123

    canuck123 New Fapstronaut

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    Congrats - I’ve been sober about 3 weeks but every day is hard not to think about a hook up.
     
  6. hockeyref33

    hockeyref33 Fapstronaut

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    Canuck123, keep up the good work. i listen to a lot of podcasts about sex addiction and they really help.
     
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  7. TryingMyBestinCanada

    TryingMyBestinCanada Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for sharing hockeyref33. I felt like I was reading about myself (except I have 2 kids, not 3, and I just turned 45 :) )

    Anyways, I went and saw a psychologist who focuses on sexual addiction. In two visits, she's really helped me out significantly.

    The first visit finally opened my eyes to the fact that my behavior was directly and indirectly impacting others and could likely cause harm and hurt at some point if I continue. I left there with the haze cleared out of my mind knowing that yes indeed, what I was doing was wrong for me and my family (and some strangers).

    Then I found this site. My challenge has been that I although I have had small stretches of nofap, I continue to obsess over it (all day long) and it has still been a huge distraction to the rest of my life (although my PMO rate has dropped significantly)

    My second visit yesterday was fantastic, because we came up with some strategies to help me clear the constant distractions from my head. Her guidance goes against much of what is encouraged on this site around abstinence, but gives me the tools I need to continue to improve my situation!

    I too wish I could have a redo on many of my activities (I will take all that to my grave!), but as HopeForBrightFuture states, the past is the past, and lets all look forward to making our lives better :)

    Take care everyone!
     
  8. cosmicology

    cosmicology Fapstronaut

    Welcome @hockeyref33 and thanks for sharing your story. I totally understand where you are.

    I'm ion day 15 of no PMO. The first 9-10 days were pretty easy going for me, but now I'm sensing a need for sexual release and my brain is desperately trying to get me to fall back into my old habits of watching porn, crossdressing and going on cam with other wearers. I'm not struggling to fight this, I'm just very conscious of how extremely difficult it is to move forward without giving in to my urges... And that's all they are 'urges'. They're not real, they're not something I have to do. Like waves on the sea my mind ebbs and flows. I've just got to see the urges and waves and let them flow. I don't act, I just observe my thinking and smile at the lengths my thoughts are trying to go to derail me... Good luck! Holla if you need to. You're in a good place with people who want you to succeed on your journey.
     
  9. hockeyref33

    hockeyref33 Fapstronaut

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    Cosmicology, Thanks for sharing. i know exactly how you feel. Stay strong, you can overcome all of the urges.
     
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  10. 4DCreator

    4DCreator Fapstronaut

    Well done to you. Carry on with your journey, you doing very well !
     
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  11. Sackstor

    Sackstor Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for sharing. I have been experimenting while dressed. I love the rush while acting on it but afterwarfs feel like crap
     
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  12. Thanks for sharing your gratitude !
     
  13. irishaddict

    irishaddict Fapstronaut

    thank you for sharing, having I just signed up today after being in denial for essentially my entire adult life (37 now), its good to see other guys making the recovery I hope to make. Am planning on getting counselling for other underlying issues, but has taken the discovery, and subsequently being kicked out of home by my wife to actually do something meaningful about it, hopefully this will be what I need after so many false starts
     
  14. hockeyref33

    hockeyref33 Fapstronaut

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    irishaddict, Please reach out of you need anything.
    Have a great sober day. Cheers!
     

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