Gratitude meets potential

Lately I've been feeling what I didn't at first realized was gratitude, but then it's just like oh - yeah that's what it is.

For a long time I kind of held the idea of gratitude at arms length because it felt to me people in recovery kind of preach it, and when something is preached it has a way of feeling empty - maybe because people continually repeat it even when they are not really feeling it but now I just understand that as an affirmation and them reminding themselves, like with anything else we want to work on.

This morning I remembered this song written by these at risk youth in a program that brings them together from across the world into a camp experience, it's based on this Dalai Lama quote:

Everyday
Think as you wake up
Today I am fortunate
To have woken up
I am alive
I have a precious human life
I'm not going to waste it
(Precious Human Life)

The whole song just repeats this over and over. And it doesn't matter it's from the Dalai Lama or is from a Buddhist, the message is very straight forward and stands on its own merits. The camp program is not Buddhist either BTW.

Anyway aside from just not feeling gratitude before, which lately I've been feeling in terms of the "little things" like walking in nature (to the extent the suburbs have it) it was a very interesting thing to think of it in terms of potential. The quote doesn't say what to do with it, just not wasting it.

And also I know it's not just about a feeling, but of course my previous judgment was because I wasn't feeling it. The thing is it is kind of a sense, that little bit from listening to the birds when walking in the woods is just gratitude working on an instinctual level to me, rather than an exercise like making a list of things. If I tried to make a list before it would have felt forced, but now even though I don't feel really strong about every single thing it's more easily felt in general across the board.

I know this addiction has had a huge impact on the lives of a lot of people and it may feel like a serious leap to think about gratitude when some people have had a raw deal in life. But the deal with nature is it's always there, it's a kind of support. Obviously not everyone is going to have a great experience walking next to trees every time. I guess if the word "recovery" means anything to me though it's to rediscover nature both within myself and outside, and letting the outside in. Not only does it seem to bring the system back into balance but there's great potential.

I guess it's the opposite of a depression, it feels like coming alive.