being-Partkdold-Duty
Fapstronaut
About five months ago, due to a complete essence repulsion to the act of onanism that was revealed to me while reading All and Everything by G.I. Gurdjieff, I, without haste, decided to give up the act of onanism and watching pornography. Gurdjieff mentions in his Legomonism that if one commits onanism all the way to completion before coming out of his preparatory age, one will not have the means to achieve the highest possible 'active mentation'.
I found myself still looking at very seductive images on the steam community hubs for certain video games that I play. Even saw myself gravitating towards video games that have seductive images. I have been trying to stay away from games that create these sexual energies for the last couple weeks.
I have been single for nearly 10 years now and am now at the age of 32. It's been difficult for me to adjust to my new life in Minnesota after moving away from all my friends and acquaintances in Spokane, WA. I believe that through my act of onanism, I have inadvertently been creating a psychic space that has been contributing to my ever-increasing anxiety and inability to find a partner. Thus, I must quit.
I started the act of onanism when I was a mere child in the 5th grade and now see no apparent worth other than 'self-satisfaction' that has been creating a space for my own egoism.
Now I am practicing a daily meditation shortly after waking up and keeping a journal geared towards 'The Work' handed down by Gurdjieff himself. In an attempt grow closer to the reality of being and experiencing the 'now-of-what-is'. I don't want to waste any more valuable energy and economize my time better. Thus, I must end this. Moses called this disease 'Moordoorten', according to Gurdjieff's Legomonism.
I found myself still looking at very seductive images on the steam community hubs for certain video games that I play. Even saw myself gravitating towards video games that have seductive images. I have been trying to stay away from games that create these sexual energies for the last couple weeks.
I have been single for nearly 10 years now and am now at the age of 32. It's been difficult for me to adjust to my new life in Minnesota after moving away from all my friends and acquaintances in Spokane, WA. I believe that through my act of onanism, I have inadvertently been creating a psychic space that has been contributing to my ever-increasing anxiety and inability to find a partner. Thus, I must quit.
I started the act of onanism when I was a mere child in the 5th grade and now see no apparent worth other than 'self-satisfaction' that has been creating a space for my own egoism.
Now I am practicing a daily meditation shortly after waking up and keeping a journal geared towards 'The Work' handed down by Gurdjieff himself. In an attempt grow closer to the reality of being and experiencing the 'now-of-what-is'. I don't want to waste any more valuable energy and economize my time better. Thus, I must end this. Moses called this disease 'Moordoorten', according to Gurdjieff's Legomonism.