CalmAnger
New Fapstronaut
It is more then 2 or 3 years, i trying to control my porn consumption.
It was usually accomplish by small breaks, And sometimes i was successful at maintaining a routine that allow me porn and masturbation only once a week or so. But with some time, always end up with slipping to obsessive use of porn & masturbation after having stress or sensitive times.
Also i am using it from when i was 15-14 yr old (Start with very soft stuff) with almost no long pause.
And i am pretty damn addicted
I am male.
23yr old (Very soon...)
Last month i was traveling Vietnam with a good friend. It was amazing and for the first time i got 0 privacy. Only rest room's of course, but i was busy full time all 4+ weeks there. And for the first time i never watched any porn content or did masturbation.
And i failed couple of times before to make such a successful pause form porn and masturbation.
I was amazed by the changes with me. I was more confident, I felt every emotion more strongly especially passion and curiosity for girls and people in general. Interest in new hobbies. And allot more changes that i will not list all of them here.
Also completely unexpected things, for example i start to remember my dreams almost every night.
I start to fear to return to porn and loose myself again. The thought make feel sick.
But now in my first week at home, i am back to porn. Without control i already relapse twice.
And i feeling myself as week, confuse and unmotivated person again.
The good thing is, that i am interested to end use of porn, totally. Without any more relapse to re-active my addiction. And now it is become more clearly, there is no other good enough solution out there (like porn only once a week or so, maybe porn every year ? but for what i need it at all ?)
And i realize that i need some help...
And for the first time i look at my problem as a serious addiction
I hope to help and get help.
That way i joined this community recently
Please let my know your thoughts down below.
It was usually accomplish by small breaks, And sometimes i was successful at maintaining a routine that allow me porn and masturbation only once a week or so. But with some time, always end up with slipping to obsessive use of porn & masturbation after having stress or sensitive times.
Also i am using it from when i was 15-14 yr old (Start with very soft stuff) with almost no long pause.
And i am pretty damn addicted
I am male.
23yr old (Very soon...)
Last month i was traveling Vietnam with a good friend. It was amazing and for the first time i got 0 privacy. Only rest room's of course, but i was busy full time all 4+ weeks there. And for the first time i never watched any porn content or did masturbation.
And i failed couple of times before to make such a successful pause form porn and masturbation.
I was amazed by the changes with me. I was more confident, I felt every emotion more strongly especially passion and curiosity for girls and people in general. Interest in new hobbies. And allot more changes that i will not list all of them here.
Also completely unexpected things, for example i start to remember my dreams almost every night.
I start to fear to return to porn and loose myself again. The thought make feel sick.
But now in my first week at home, i am back to porn. Without control i already relapse twice.
And i feeling myself as week, confuse and unmotivated person again.
The good thing is, that i am interested to end use of porn, totally. Without any more relapse to re-active my addiction. And now it is become more clearly, there is no other good enough solution out there (like porn only once a week or so, maybe porn every year ? but for what i need it at all ?)
And i realize that i need some help...
And for the first time i look at my problem as a serious addiction I hope to help and get help.
That way i joined this community recently
Please let my know your thoughts down below.
