Grew a Fear of Women: Sub-Conscious

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by ThyArtofLust, Nov 6, 2019.

  1. ThyArtofLust

    ThyArtofLust Fapstronaut

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    How do I get over this? So many opportunities lost in seconds, even when they make the interaction SO OBVIOUS. I have no idea what to say, I do, but I lack the balls to do ANYTHING.

    Please guide me... count to 3 then jump or something, just some advice please. I AM DYING
     
  2. lolos

    lolos Fapstronaut

    Read no more mr nice guy.
     
  3. Ko 44 c HPM

    Ko 44 c HPM Fapstronaut

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    The only way to do a thing is to do it. It might be scary the first time but eventually it's nothing. Believe that you can do it. You are physically capable of speech. The secret to it is that there is no secret, and you just have to force words to come out of your mouth even if you're scared. It's okay to not have anything to say, but if you do have something, pull the trigger. It's like going off the high dive for the first time. You already know how to do it, and it's scary, so just be scared and do it!
     
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  4. DesRevived

    DesRevived Fapstronaut

    Like Shia Labeouf said:

    "JUST DO IT!"
     
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  5. Maybe try identifying the root cause of this fear? Why is it there? At what point did it start creeping in to your life? What caused it? A specific instance? An experience? Find it. Then find a way to overcome it. But you have to be rigorously honest with yourself.
     
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  6. ThyArtofLust

    ThyArtofLust Fapstronaut

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    Will check it out
     
  7. ThyArtofLust

    ThyArtofLust Fapstronaut

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    The root, I think, from my past would be the isolation from my schoolmates and not being able to convey my attention towards the women without being identified and persecuted. I had balls then, with women from other schools, I had some big social confidence. Also I’d say it’s earphones. After following a friend in the past, I then grew the comfort of earphones and am just now getting rid of them. Selling my AirPods as they have made me less sociable allowing a large lack of confidence
     
  8. Do you find solitude uncomfortable?
     
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  9. Jamwan14

    Jamwan14 Fapstronaut

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    Practice is key my man. Get used to doing shit. I got rejected countless times, I tell myself people will somehow always come up with excuses. Opportunities will come to you when you’re ready. Good luck my boy!
     
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  10. dankestmemes

    dankestmemes Fapstronaut

    Be comfortable with your body. Take up dancing (funk styles or hip hop are versatile) or a martial art. You'll be stronger, more flexible, and look better. When you're confident in your body, everything will fall into place. Yes, how to talk and what to say is important, but we all know what interacting with women is REALLY for. Let's not deny it. We are animals and a females are attracted to strong men. I'm not saying to act like a tough guy and thump your chest. But if you are physically healthy and strong, it will instill in you confidence that others will unconsciously pick up on. At that point, the actual words won't matter.
     
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  11. ThyArtofLust

    ThyArtofLust Fapstronaut

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    Yes, and no. I like have my lonesome time as everyone else does. Truthfully it bores me, I never know what to do and it’s uncomfortable
     
  12. Son of Midgaard

    Son of Midgaard Fapstronaut

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    Hey man, you are not alone. There is millions of guy out there who hesitate and lack solid confidence with women.

    I just ghoasted today. First time it happened in over 2 years! blew my fragile confidence right apart. To me and everyone else I mention it made no sense. I was definetely not out of her league, infact, alot more attractive I would say. She was an obese single mom with ok face, not super hot just ok. So when you get ghoasted by fucking fat single moms you know you have no game what so ever...
     
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  13. Get_It

    Get_It Fapstronaut

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    Its a numbers game, keep going for it. They won't all say no.
     
  14. koolpal

    koolpal Fapstronaut

    Try some Zumba, yoga, pilates, and step classes just to become comfortable around women.

    Then try partnered dance classes like social, ballroom, or Latin dancing.

    I’d find a class where they rotate partners, and teach the socially acceptable ways to hold another women (especially someone else’s wife or girlfriend), of different shapes and sizes.

    When it comes to talking, I’d get used to talking to other people’s wives and girlfriends. That’s when I learned what’s considered normal conversations (and not hitting on them), and appropriate questions and topics.

    It gets interesting when I meet single women. From my experience, they seem very uncomfortable (or just not interested). But at that point I’m already comfortable with myself, so I’d switch it around trying to help her become comfortable too.

    Hope that helps.
     
  15. Son of Midgaard

    Son of Midgaard Fapstronaut

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    Of course I was. I am not delusional in this sense. It just sucks when it happens was quite a long time ago it happened to me. It is the sign of a inferior individual in my mind. And just another reason cut social media as channel for approaching women. It is just to easy and you are so freaking replacable it is absolutely laughable.
     
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  16. dankestmemes

    dankestmemes Fapstronaut

    I met my wife the old fashioned way (at a club) and am proud of it. Since I'm already married and not on the hunt, I'm very biased against dating apps. We're meant to size each other up and make our decision to mate while in the physical presence of the other person.
     
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  17. Son of Midgaard

    Son of Midgaard Fapstronaut

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    Absolutely so. Dating apps seems to mainly generate more bitternes and ressentment towards the opposite sex..perhaps this is part of why they are so hyped? Seems to me some people wan't us to just dwell alone in self-contempt, despair and loneliness.

    Nevertheless, I would like to reach out to all good guys out there being dealt the cold hand and being systematically rejected at social media, I feel for you and i sympathize but it is futile what your are doing. It might even be detrimental to your own state of health.
     
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  18. dankestmemes

    dankestmemes Fapstronaut

    This will sound crude but everyone knows in their hearts that it's true: Men are meant to fight and fuck. If you're going against nature, you're going to have a bad time. Since most of us live in a civilized society, we need other ways to channel these instincts and tendencies. That's why I'm a huge proponent of physical fitness and self defense skills. The confidence derived from taking care of yourself will make you naturally attractive both physically and socially. It's why taller people tend to be leaders and good looking people tend to have an easier life.

    People are frustrated because they don't want to put in the work. Fans watch a fight and see a few rounds of action. But they don't see the weeks and months of training and bruises that led up to those rounds. Of course it looks easy.
     
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  19. Robinthehood

    Robinthehood Fapstronaut

    Start taking cold showers. It's important though how you do it. For myself I have a small routine for getting into the shower, once started I'm not allowed to stall or pause, I have to get straight under the water. I've been doing it this way for about two months I think and it's still getting easier and helps me to just do things in real life. Like speak to a woman or just a stranger whoever, i have had a real benefit. The routine is important because once started I know I'm about to do something that my mind is telling me is going to be unpleasant. Yet I keep going, I enter the bathroom, lay a towel on the floor and one on the windowsill to dry myself after. Then go straight in the cubicle and hit the lever, boom. Freezing water! My mind is telling me the whole time it's going to suck and be freezing though it's becoming quieter, my body takes over and I don't think about it I just do it. By doing this I'm learning to do something unpleasant and I love it. The reality is I actually love the sensation, there's not really many opportunities in the day to experience that are as intense as freezing cold water suddenly pouring over you. I love the first shock and how I react to it, breathing hard for a couple of breaths, my body tenses up and then after a few seconds I start to relax in there, and that feels incredible. It's my favourite part of the day and I feel absolutely at my best when I get out. I'm probably only in there about twenty or thirty seconds on average, sometimes longer if I am really enjoying it but the minimum time is until I a over the shock and feeling the rush of pleasure. I do that because I think it's very important to experience the reward every time for doing something tats scary or unpleasant. So I'm teaching myself to like scary things, or at least to learn there's no actual real danger there. Just imagined. Anywho, long reply I know. But I can't say too much good stuff about it, it's frigging awesome.
     
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  20. dankestmemes

    dankestmemes Fapstronaut

    I need to start doing this. Saves on the electric bill too. I also don't want to be a pussy and always need a hot shower. What if something goes wrong or I'm in a place where there is no hot running water?

    Did you go straight to cold showers or did you lower the temperature over time? I'm thinking of going pure cold tonight just to try it out.
     

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