Grindr app addiction

[Arabdoctor]

im a bisexual guy , i used to enjoy having sex with men and woman , i met a girl , she's the love of my life , we got married a year and a half ago , after that i unfortunately started using grindr , i had few months without a job due to covid crisis so had a lot of home alone time , i was on grindr for hours and now im super addict to it , my wife doesn't know i have feeling for men , i stopped enjoying having sex with , it takes me much more time than her to ejaculate , i try to picture some other guy with me in bed , im struggling a lot , i feel very guilty about my feelings and not giving my wife enough sexual joy and attractiveness,

recently , like few days ago , i removed the app store from my ipad and iphone so i cannot download the grindr app anymore , and let my wife set a passcode for it, i told her " i need to stop downloading games" bcz its taking my time and preventing me from focusing on work ,
but i keep thinking about it , now i keep talking to guys i knew before and open cams and have c2c sex ,
still wasting time , i cant help it , i masturbate 3-5 times daily even without porn , i really need help
its been years like this whenever im alone at home i keep masturbating
im so worried about my life
i have a very important exam next month and it needs at least 3 months of studying to pass it , im almost sure im going to fail it now .....
PLEASE HELP im crying for help ,,,, i feel so horrible im 31 years old and still trying to do something successful in my life :'(

 

[Uncle_Iroh]

It's never too late to get away from sexual addiction (as that's what I believe it to be, but that's your own decision to make) but it's never easy as you obviously know. It takes absolutely everything to do this, an absolute change of your life and throwing away all of what you know. It's really tough, probably the hardest thing that you will ever do, but know that it's going to be worth it. You will alweays have these compulsions, they never disappear, but in time you can come to handle them with the help of others and a power greater than yourself. https://saa-recovery.org/ I recommend, like myself, seeking out Sex addicts Anonymous. I ahve been going for almost 2 years and only started to accept their way of recovery (the 12 steps) lately, and although I'm not all there yetr, I am on the path to recovery.
Now you need three things in recopvery, absolute rigorous honest in all aspects (including with your partner), open mindedness to seek out a new way of recovery (as you probably know that your will power isn't helping and anything you put up will be overcome by your addictive side) and a willingness to actually doing something. It's hard to do all of this, but it's absolutely crucial.
I too have known the struggles of grindr, I was abused as a young child by an older boy (I have no ill will towards him, he was only young himself and confused) and this brought a lot of confusion into my life, I thought I was bi (I now know 100% I am not) and gay and bi porn lead to me using grindr for hours on end. I did eventually end up meeting a man for a sexual encounter which finally helped me realise that it's not for me, but know I do know your pain. I don't say you're not bi, maybe you are and that's fine, but I don't think it's something to hide from your partner or anyone. If you are you should be open about it, but I also say you should be absolutely honest with your partner for a lie always works it's way out eventually. It's one lie at the start but it's a hundred down the line and you lose track, and nothing is more key to a relationship than honesty.

I apologise if some of this is hard to hear and I apologise if I have upset you, but in my mind it's tough shit for honesty is KEY! I will be honest with everyone about this for it's a horrible disease that inflicts us, it needs to be known. If you've any questions feel free to message me privately, I wish you luck and a safe, sane and sober day!

 

[Saythatagain]

I will second the previous response. I’m 45 and was “abused” by a boy a few years older when I was 8. That and hard core porn introduced at the same time have had their affects. I am who I am, and I like what I like. It does not fit into this perfect little box. The more I have tried to ignore it, deal with it or understand it the more it takes over.

What we have is like an emotional cancer that is there even if we want to pretend it’s not at times. It will eat away at your thoughts and worry creating issues in everything you do with or without others. You face so many possibilities that you get overwhelmed. You over think and get consumed by the what if’s. Your dick goes soft or you don’t enjoy your wife in bed then you get worked up and act out with a guy only for it to feel amazing. Then you build up and have a really good run with her and get hurt after she rejected you over a small issues like not taking the dog out. OMG, I feel crazy saying and thinking all of this but yet I bet you can relate. It’s crazy making stuff. It has taken several years of understanding my bisexuality and my sexual addiction are part of my life. Ignoring it doesn’t work. Understanding them helps but not totally. Relating to others that know and understand both along with a formal recovery track have helped. I’m open to talk of you would like to PM me. In any recovery situation I have been I can promise you that I was not the only guy that has messed around with other guys while only having emotional connection with women. I might be one of the few with the balls to say it but that’s where recovery has taken me and I’m opening myself up.