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Grindr, Bumble, or Tinder users??

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by TheNewDawn106, Apr 3, 2018.

  1. TheNewDawn106

    TheNewDawn106 Fapstronaut

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    Dawn here,

    Does anybody here use any dating/chat apps?? Grindr, Bumble, Tinder, etc... If so what benefits do you find from it?? I'm looking t date outside my workplace and was wondering if anyone here has any good experiences with them.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  2. Everyone at my school uses these apps, so I made a Tinder page for lulz. I don't really use it except when within the core group. I find no benefits from it as I don't do relationships, and it's very superficial, and can be very disheartening to the average dude.
     
    Buddhabro and londonguy90 like this.
  3. TheNewDawn106

    TheNewDawn106 Fapstronaut

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    Hmmm ill keep that in mind, I'm not one to follow popular trends.
     
  4. Basically think of it this way, women are the sexual gatekeepers of the species, and you are literally giving them a buffet of attractive men. They will off hand reject any men below or even slightly above their level, trying to leverage the app for the 8-10/10 males. It's fantastic if you are a very attractive man, not so much if you are average.
     
  5. Grindr is the same just instead of m/f its m/m. Same superficiality, different orientation.
     
  6. ewq

    ewq Fapstronaut

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    Former Tinder user here. Former because I found a girl there whom I've been dating with for the past couple of months. Ridiculous social stigma surrounds these dating apps. Both men and women are superficial so earlier you accept it, the easier you can take rejection. I got barely any matches when I was new to the app, but then I did a bit of research and upgraded my account in various ways (funny bio, better pictures) and then for a moment I was a high-tier male (well the competing males weren't even trying imo) and I got too many matches and responding to all of them was exhausting. I'm not trying to boast here. All I am saying that you need to work on your profile to get mathces. So I went to a lot of date got to know a lot of interesting women even if they are not my taste. Dating is a skill to some extent so you need to practice it. And when it comes to looks... Men are more superficial because it is in our biology. I am not ashamed to say that looks are very important. Women are more picky so they want to look beyond your bathroom selfie. They will read your bio, browse your instagram and analyze the data and eventually they will swipe left or right, where as I tend to swipe right if the girl has nice tits. Men compete, women choose, it's simple biology. Hook- ups are completely normal imo. Let's face it. We are just horny primates. So I would definitely recommend the app. Don't listen to the moralists who say that these apps are for desperate people.
     
  7. SheMonk

    SheMonk Fapstronaut

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    Depends on your intention with your dating, I'd say. If you're looking for a hook up, Tinder is definitely effective for that. If you are looking for more than that, you might have to sort through a number of people. But it's not impossible to get a relationship out of these apps.
     
  8. I’m about to become a former Bumble user by 4/24 when my subscription runs out. As a man I haven’t had much of any luck with dating apps. I’m not bad looking and have a variety of pictures but it’s definitely discouraging when you don’t get matches. “Dating fatigue “ is the new term I hear. I probably shouldn’t have gone on the apps to begin with as it’s messed with my reboot and self esteem.
     
  9. TheNewDawn106

    TheNewDawn106 Fapstronaut

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    I gotta say your comment here resonates the most with me. I tried Grindr and bumble over the last week and didn’t get anywhere. I was honest about my intetests which turned a lot of people away. Girls that were into my looks or style didn’t like that I still watch anime or build models. And guys I spoke to just wanted to fuck and bail. Both sent me into quite a spiral and a serious lapse of self-confidence.

    I’ll stick with abstinence for now. It’s more fun being alone in a judge-free environment than one where I feel less of a person based the things that intrigue me.
     
  10. NoBrainer

    NoBrainer Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    I haven't had any good experiences from Tinder, and Bumble is pretty dead apparently. Okcupid is alright.
     
  11. SheMonk

    SheMonk Fapstronaut

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    I think you should just focus on meeting people in real life or via your interests on a forum or some such. Much more down to Earth way to go about it. :3
     
  12. TheNewDawn106

    TheNewDawn106 Fapstronaut

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    Very good idea. I spend so much time in the cyber world I sometimes forget to invest in my real life relationships.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  13. In my opinion, Tinder is quite fun experience when you take it as a game. I just have fun with it and chat every match I get just to get some experience to talking with girls. And I gotta say that it usually turns sexting quite quickly, which is pure fun. I'm not expecting to find the love of my life from there, so it's just for fun to me.

    And if you play your cards right, you can also have quick one night stands as well, but for that you really gotta be in above average shape and not be picky. You pretty much gotta behave like a dog and expect everybody else to behave like that also. In that perspective, it's not necessarily everybody's game, but if you're willing to put yourself through hell and get in shape, and willing to take decent levels of crap, you can get decent amount of sex.

    And to be clear... Yes, your success in dating world rises exponentially when you get your body in shape, both in online and real-life dating, so my suggestion to everybody is to cut down those video games and hit the gym. That's what I did and now I'm harvesting fruits of my hard work... ;)
     
  14. I would really suggest getting away from dating apps as much as possible. I have never heard of a long-lasting relationship out of one that wasn't purely out of convenience or sexual desire.
     
  15. serialfpr

    serialfpr Fapstronaut

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    I'm a heavy Tinder user and can recommend the app. I've also used other (free) online dating apps and found a successful, long-term relationship from one. Tinder has no social stigma like traditional online dating and is widely used by the younger population in lots of different countries. This is because Tinder successfully eliminated the main issue of online dating sites; 90% guys and 10% girls, so when a girl signs up they immediately get hundreds of pervy messages from desperate looking guys. On Tinder, the girls will only get messages from those guys they've already decided they want to possibly hear from.

    However, with Tinder looks are no doubt very important. I'm not going to lie, I do believe I'm above average looking so that definitely helps it. However, I have a good friend who is not the best looking and hardly finds girls offline, but started using Tinder and is getting plenty of matches. I would really stress the importance of building a very good profile. I barely had any matches before on Tinder just because I had a boring profile and bad photos (in contrast, I could find pretty attractive girls from nightclubs without even really trying on occasion).

    I recently broke up with my girlfriend of 3 years and started using Tinder again. This time I properly researched how to do a successful profile and did it work? Damn! I now have so many girls ready to meet me. I'm not going to write here how to do a good Tinder profile because I'm just learning my self, but a quick google will get you lots of good information. I also recommend to split test your photos on Photofeeler (you vote on others' photos and they vote on yours) to find out which photos are the best to use. I also used useful comments from the voters for my benefit.
     
  16. RecoveringFapaholic

    RecoveringFapaholic Fapstronaut

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    I'm not against using dating apps but wait until you're at least 30 days into your reboot before you start using them. I say this because they may trigger you to relapse. I don't use dating apps because I'm not interested in dating right now.
     
    londonguy90 likes this.
  17. elevate

    elevate Fapstronaut

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    Of course a dating app is going to be superficial. Most people on there are trying to post an exaggerated form of their highlight reel. People get mad for getting rejected for superficial reasons, but that's the rules that they chose to play by. How are people going to choose you for what's on the inside if they aren't even really sure if that information that you posted can be trusted?

    If you choose to play by the rules of "I need to be wealthier and sexier than others", then guess what kind of people you're going to attract and what kind of people you're competing with.

    An app that allows you to reject someone at the click / swipe of a button doesn't really allow an environment of people that wants to get to know others for what's on the inside.

    Try actually meeting people in person. Contribute to your community. Grow with others in a class / club. Network with others. Try new interests. Socialize with people face to face. Then maybe you don't have to compete with others for the best exaggerated online profile.
     
  18. Hitto

    Hitto Fapstronaut

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    Lol being in shape is a very small part of the equation
     
  19. Yes, you're absolutely right, but it makes things easier.

    Great body with crappy personality won't win many hearts, everybody knows that. But the truth is that great personality in great body always wins great personality in crappy body. If you don't believe me, go to ask your female friends: would they prefer Ryan Reynolds personality in Ryan Reynolds body or in Gabriel Iglesias body? I think we know the answer ;)
    Of course, your main reason to get in shape should always be you and your health, not anybody else. I'm just saying that there's so much you can do to better your chances in dating world, and getting in shape is one of them. Combine that with the great personality and sense of humor you already have, and you really got something cooking there :)
    I know I can't make myself any taller or more handsome, and I can't change my nerdy personality, but I can tone my body to the absolute best shape it possibly can be. And in the process I'm getting healthier, I'm getting stronger, I get feel of accomplishments which rises my confidence, and so on...
    Getting in healthier shape is one of the easiest ways to super-boost your dating game.

    I know this sounds harsh, but if you're not willing to give girls what they want, someone else is.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 17, 2018
    Buddhabro likes this.
  20. TheNewDawn106

    TheNewDawn106 Fapstronaut

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    So I’m planning on staying away from all these for now. I’m glad this thread has provided multiple opinions and personal experiences, it’s really helped. But both times I tried them out they didn’t really lead to anything I was looking for. The few times I used them it led to me relapsing and I don’t need that in my life...

    Im glad it’s worked for some of you but as I’m sure you all know, we are all different. I’m thinking it’s best for me to steer away from wanting to date or be intimate with anyone right now, cause I still have my own weaknesses to deal with right now.
     
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