GROW UP - Men posting in the "Women's Reboot" forum

Discussion in 'Off-topic Discussion' started by MrBlue201, Apr 3, 2020.

  1. So. I have been a member awhile now and so I am familiar with the site. I happened to notice the "Women in Reboot" section and to my surprise, the 2 times I went there it was nothing but guys responding!

    This is very disappointing because the info at the top specifically says women only. Its obviously a potential trigger for these women to interact/message you or see your posts etc. Men who do that should grow up!
     
    Last edited: Apr 3, 2020
  2. Mistersofty

    Mistersofty Fapstronaut

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    So why are you in the “women in reboot” section?
     
  3. Evig Faith

    Evig Faith Fapstronaut

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    My understanding is men are allowed to post there. We have our own separate, more private area where men will be reported if they infiltrate.
     
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  4. I went to it because I thought it was all good to go like Evig, but just read the "Read this First:" section that nobody reads- I think its pretty clear its designed for women to support women.

    What do I know though? Everybody who commented or liked apparrently disagrees so whatever.
     
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  5. Evig is a chick.
     
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  6. World is full of weirdos what can you say.
     
  7. Uhhh your point? I said that she said she (thought) it was OK for guys to post there (which she did). I said nothing wrong.
     
  8. You're right! Thank you.

    I should have known a post like this would attract (or offend) the most immature among us.
     
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  9. Submariner

    Submariner Fapstronaut

    I'm not trying to attack or spread negativity, but I'm pretty sure that it has something to do with the loneliness some guys on here experience. Some guys may very rarely get a chance to chat with a female in real life, so instead they 'give it a shot' on the forums. There are also plenty of male NF users who just want to encourage the women in 'their' section without further meaning.
     
  10. I see what you mean, but I can only point out the most glaring missing detail - there are plenty of places for these men to communicate with women on this site without going to their (most vulnerable) "Reboot" page! I mean, come on.. smh
     
    Last edited: Apr 4, 2020
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  11. I misunderstood then
     
  12. No problem! :) I'm done with this post, whatever people feel is right - that's great for them!

    I've expressed how I feel (and what the "Read this First" section on Women in Reboot says) so I can move on now.

    Have a great day everyone!
     
  13. Joe1023

    Joe1023 Fapstronaut

    I mean, I see your point, @MrBlue201 and yes, I totally agree that men shouldn't be posting in there. My wife has said that she's seen guys posting in there and when someone calls them out on posting in the women's only forum, their response is usually some stupid trash like, "Well I just thought maybe I could help." No morons, you can't help. You wanna help? Go help yourself and leave the women to help women that need it.

    I am absolutely NOT trying to be insulting or judgmental here, but at the same time, if the men who are addicts are working on our own recovery, it does seem a little odd that those same men would be going into a forum reserved for women who are also addicts. Does that make sense?
     
  14. Men are allowed to post in there. When I first started here, my journal in the women's section pretty much only had men responding on it, because there weren't many women active on the site. And I really appreciated the responses. I would much rather have male support than no support at all. And I've met a ton of great male friends here who have supported me from the very beginning.

    Sure, there are some weirdos or people posting there for their own nefarious reasons. But there are also a lot of people just trying to support others, and they should be allowed to do that regardless of their gender. If a woman doesn't want a man on their thread, they should say so upfront, and hopefully people would respect that. But otherwise, they are just fine posting in the women's section.

    It's not women's only any more than the 30-40 section is exclusively for people of that age. It's just how the journals are organized, so people can more easily find their tribe.

    The reason I've posted in the women's section in the past was never because I didn't want men responding. It was because either I was discussing a topic that doesn't really apply to men, or in my journal I may have said some things that are triggering to men. If a man decides they aren't trigger by hearing about my journey and they want to support me and give me advice, great! The more great advice and support from wise people, the better. I don't care what your gender is if you're giving me useful advice and support.
     
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  15. I'm sorry, but that's ridiculous. Of course they could help. I've gotten incredible amounts of help and support and advice from the men here. Far more than I've gotten from any woman, except one (love ya, Jen).

    You say you aren't trying to be judgemental, but you are being exactly that. You're assuming all these guys have some kind of nasty motive. Maybe they're just trying to be nice and thought they could help, since they've been through something similar.

    I'm super tired of this dumb gender war stuff. We are all humans, and PMO is a human problem. Yes, occasionally there are problames specific to gender, but honestly, even then they might have some advice. I've responded to threads about penis size or embarrassing erections, because I thought I had advice that could help, even though I don't have personal experience with those things.

    Y'all just need to stop assuming every guy who's helping a woman has nasty intentions. That's really stupid, and if you people were out here crusading for this when I first started here, then I would have made no friends. I didn't connect well at all with the, like, one or two women who actually commented on my journal. I did, however, make life-long friendships with several men. Heck, one of them even came to my hometown during my birthday for vacation and we hung out in person. I helped him through a lot of crazy stuff, and because of that growth he now has a career he might never have pursued if we hadn't met and talked it through. He's an actual, genuine friend of mine who I text regularly and who knows me IRL now, not just on NoFap. I have a couple other friends in that some boat as well, who I talk to outside of here and I consider actual friends, and they're all men, except Jen.

    Men and women can help each other and support each other. Stop assuming they're all being gross when most if them are just trying to be kind and helpful.
     
  16. ShadyPerson

    ShadyPerson Fapstronaut

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    There are two separate women's sections. One is meant mainly for women but is open for men to reply, the other one is exclusively a women's section and as far as I have understood isn't even visible for men. I think Castielle demonstrated why men replying in the former one can be a good thing better than I ever could explain it, so I won't even try.

    Personally as someone who sometimes visits the women's section, I can say that personally I do it mainly to remind myself that this forum isn't just a huge sausage party. Whenever I reply I do so because I feel like I have something valuable to contribute to the conversation and that I could help. The only time I found anything sexual about visiting that section was when I was new to NoFap and my mind was constantly looking for excuses to fantasize. I have never had any delusions about getting sexually involved with any of the women on this site. Men can interact with women without there having to be anything sexual about it.
     
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  17. Anakin66

    Anakin66 Fapstronaut

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    Calling men you don't know morons is insulting and judgemental.

    I echo the sentiments of @Castielle , both male and female perspectives are crucial in this battle. I am learning so much from reading about wives of PMO addicts and their journey. It's also interesting when women comment to show that our perception of situation can be very different than theirs.

    The real world is an interaction between the sexes, why should it be different here?
     
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  18. It's meant for women to reply then let it be, why do people need to act so desperate to help or seek help?

    And you're not wrong.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 5, 2020
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  19. ShadyPerson

    ShadyPerson Fapstronaut

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    But it isn't. As said before in this thread there are two women's section. One is exclusively for women, the other is not.
     
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  20. I still think men that do that need to grow up. For real, its immature to prey on vulnerable people. They'll accept help even if its bad help. If that's judgemental to you, feel free to cry to yourself about it. I'm just pointing out something that seems so wrong that I can't ignore it - and people agree with me on here.

    Look, I believe the mods would agree also. If they don't then they should change the rules. This is what is appropriate in the "Read this First" info section for the "Women in Reboot" forum. Word for word:

    "
    • Rebooting journals
    • Introduction threads by other women
    • Accountability partner requests from other women
    • Relapse reports by other women
    • Questions about rebooting by other women
    • Advice on dating by other women
    • Reboot updates by women rebooters
    • Anything else that a women rebooter may want to share with other women rebooters..."
    Notice the phrase "other women rebooters".

    I'm just saying, with sexual problems its best for men to get advice from a wise man. I assume its also best for a woman to get advice from a wise woman.
     
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