GROW UP - Men posting in the "Women's Reboot" forum

Hi,

I'm one of those who posted several times on topics in that section. Actually I didn't notice that it was "WOMEN ONLY", 'til you mentioned here. I won't post in that section anymore.

BTW, not everyone who comments on a girl post is lonely and desperate! After all, we all human! And by the sense of the words that someone is using, u can easily see if he/she is a lonely/desperate person or not!

Hope u the best.

 

No, I don't think the rules need to be changed. They are already being followed. There is no rule against men posting in the women's section.

Well I disagree. If that's where women will be posting their journals, and they would be happy to have the support of their fellow nofappers regardless of their gender, then that's where the men will need to respond to them. There is no rule against men responding to threads in the women's section. What you seem to be asking for is a women-only section that is off limits to men, which already exists. So I'm just not sure what you think needs to change.

Adhere to the rules... which do not exclude men from posting. We are all already adhering to the rules, because there is no rule against men posting there.

 

I understand you say you don't want to create divide. I'm just saying that I think that's sort of what you're doing, whether that's your intention or not. You have repeatedly told men posting in the women's section that they are "immature" and they need to "grow up." I don't see that as being very friendly, and I think that does cause division.

Now men might think twice about posting in the women's section, because they don't want people like you to call them immature and tell them they're being desperate. So they won't post, women won't get the help and support they need, and men won't get the experience of talking with women and understanding their human problems, thereby humanizing them more, which is a great thing for men who have been brainwashed into viewing women as only pixels on a screen.

I understand that you aren't trying to cause problems, but I think you are, whether you are trying to or not.

To be clear, if you had simply stated your confusion over the rules and said maybe the rules should be stated more clearly, I would have no issue with that. But that's not how you stated it. You made statements about the men posting in that section being immature and desperate and needing to grow up. So... if you'd like to recant all of that and just say that you think the rules need to be clear, we would have no disagreement. But I can't agree with your whole statement when it includes making men feel like scummy people for posting in a section they are allowed to be in, trying to help people.

 

It's not women only. It is simply the section of the forums where the women's journals are kept. You are perfectly allowed and encouraged to help people there if you choose.

And see, @MrBlue201 this is exactly my problem. You have already caused division, right here. Because of your thread, this helpful, kind man is no longer going to post helpful, kind things in the women's section.

This is a perfect illustration of exactly why I think this thread has huge potential to cause problems, and it's frustrating to see, especially when the women aren't even asking for it. I don't speak for all the women, but I would be sad to see men stop posting in the women's section. But now, because of this, that's exactly what could happen. So you've now made a space that was created for people like me, less of what I want it to be. That's just silly to me.

This just reminds me of all the straight, cis social justice warriors out there trying to battle for trans rights when the trans people are like "dude, chill, we don't even want that and you're just making our lives harder."

 

I'm breathing just fine, dude. Just because I feel strongly about something doesn't mean I'm getting all riled up. I'm very capable of handling my own emotions, thanks.

And I have thought it through. I've literally been using this site for years, and if you read the thread I gave you, you will see that the women of this site have already had this debate and the decision was made.

I'm really getting sick of you telling me -- a woman -- how the women's section is supposed to be used. Has any single woman on this site actually complained to you about people "breaking the rules" in this regard? I very highly doubt it. It baffles me how you continue to ignore the many times that I've stated that I, as a woman on this site, do not agree with you and don't want what you're trying to give to me.

Idk what else to say at this point, man. Your "tone" might sound friendly, but you aren't really listening to everything I'm saying. And I really don't appreciate being told to "take a breath" and "think this through" as if all of my well thought out responses have just been emotionally explosive nonsense. I'm not overly emotional about this at all, and I have thought it through. I thought it through about a year ago, when this debate was had, and the years before that. This is not a new conversation for me. I've definitely thought it through.

 

And yet you continue to completely ignore me when I tell you exactly how you are causing division... and there is literal proof in this thread of division you have already caused.

Whatever, man.

 

I just really can't get over the arrogance of trying to tell me how the women's section works. Especially when I just looked at your profile and see you just joined!

Dude, seriously? I've been here for like 5+ years, and I'm a woman. You're seriously going to tell me you know better than I do how the women's section of these forums function? There are many issues with your statement of "just post your journal in the other section if you want men to comment on it." You would know that if you actually knew anything about what its like to be a woman around here. But you don't know anything about that, and you've made it pretty clear you aren't interested in listening to an actual woman tell you about it.

Idk what else to say, man. It's kind of ridiculously arrogant of you to be trying to explain to me how the rules of a forum I've been on for 5 years work, when you've been here for less than a month. I don't usually play the "I've been here longer than you" card, but this is just silly.

I've fought time and time again over the past 5 years to try to ensure men and women can work nicely together and support each other and remember that we can all help each other, even if we have different journeys. And I am not about to just sit back and let you be here for a month and tell all the guys they aren't allowed to respond to women in the women's section, when they absolutely are and that's how it's been for years.

 

The bottom line is this: the women have already had this debate, and a consensus was reached. Alexander specifically asked if we wanted the women's section to be closed to men, and we said no.

The consensus was that we would like a private section just for us, but we want to keep the current women's section open to men as well.

That's what Alexander did. The women's section is accessible to men, the private women's-only section is not. Cool. Problem solved, everyone is happy.

That's exactly what we asked for. Nothing needs to change. We don't need you to fight for something we don't even want. If you actually took a minute to listen to what the women want and read the thread I sent you that closes this issue a long time ago, you would see that there is no issue here, because it was already resolved a long time ago.

If the rules need to be stated more clearly, fine. That sounds good. But they do not need to be changed. The women have spoken, and when it comes to this, their voices are really the only ones that matter.

 

I see what u r doing and I admire the time and effort u put into this.To me, your benevolent intention is clear and honorable. I also see @MrBlue201 's point and I believe he had good intention when he mentioned it.

The point is, we all come from different cultures, different backgrounds and different pasts. These r the elements that have shaped our mind and beliefs. By participating in social activities and discussions like this, we broaden our minds to new ideas that might not had the chance to understand before.

When I said I won't post there again, I wasn't offended or sad. I just thought it might be an invasion of privacy. So don't take it too seriously! I take it back. If I see that I actually have something worthy to say, I will.

Remember, behind all these faces and bodies that we all have, is a human being, someone who has feelings, ambitions, plans, someone who might have been hurt, someone who might think that the world has been mean to him/her. So I suggest we don't make this harder for ourselves. Let's love each other regardless of age, sex, nationality or wealth. Let's see others as humans who are worthy of love, honor, mercy and all other good things.

Let's love each other, because at the end, LOVE is the only thing that lasts.

Now, let's all take a deep breath, relax and fight COVID-19 together!

 

But how else I'm gonna get a woman to give me attention other than posting anonymousely in the women's section of the forum?

 

The problem is that this is something I have been fighting for for years, and i have some guy trying to change it all after being here for a month, while not really listening to the people who have actually been here a long time, and the people who these rules actually effect.

I'm not being hateful to anyone. I'm simply not happy with someone trying to change a rule that would effect me far more than it would effect them, when I have been here much longer than them and invested much more into this community. That doesn't seem right to me. I'm not being mean or attacking anyone, by any means. Im simply urging him to actually listen to the women and what they want, because they have already spoken on this issue, and they don't want what he is suggesting. It's their space, so I think their opinions matter more on this. That's all I'm saying.

And as I've already said, I'm breathing just fine. I don't need to be told to take a deep breath. I'm not even angry. I'm just speaking about something I care about. I don't know why everyone thinks that means I'm raging over it. I'm just chilling at home watching a show with my husband. I'm perfectly fine and calm, nor do I hate anyone here.

 

You have several of these kind of condescending quotes throughout the thread.

Where is the evidence of women complaining about men participating in their threads?

You tried to signal your virtue as a champion for women to a virtually non existent problem.

Actual women are here telling you how they feel about the issue. Then you try to dismiss them by telling them to calm down and that you wish to be there friend.

I think this is a big Freudian slip from you. It's seems you are the very person that would likely make inappropriate comments in a women's forum and that you need some strict rules to prevent you from doing so. I agree with @Castielle that you are projecting your mindset on to other men here.

I have only been on this site for 2 months but have benefited so much from the interaction between fellow men and women. Of course there are a few sleazy ones from time to time, but we are all mature enough to call them out on their bs.

I distinctly remember this happening in Feb. This one guy was most likely mgtow and was trying to bash women here. We quickly addressed his bs and blocked him after realising what he was up to.

I too, feel strongly about this issue. And if anyone tells me to remove myself from a discussion, I will respectfully do so. I trust we are all adults to have some decorum.

Finally, women comment on my post from time to time. It would be really unfortunate if we start segregating the forums to men only and women only.