Growing your own willpower

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by R3dFlY, Apr 4, 2019.

  1. R3dFlY

    R3dFlY Fapstronaut

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    "Growing your own willpower is gaining more control over your own reality"
    Hello to comunity members of this relative new revolutionary lifestyle movement.
    First I will introduce myself.
    I'm fairly new to this NOFAP lifestyle movement and currently on day 4 of NOFAP Hardmode. I have had previous attempts of stopping my PMO Addiction before I came to know about NOFAP. My methods of stopping own addictions were all solely based on one thing and that is WILLPOWER. When I think of willpower I think of possibly the strongest unbreakable energy one can have to achieve anything in life.
    Anyways I will give you a small intro on where and how my PMO addiction started and how it came to affect my own life.

    The first time I came into contact with porn was back in 2010 when I was 14 years old. I was introduce into it by a friend. You see before I got introduced to porn I was this introvert individual that got this repulsive feeling when watching any type of sexual act on camera ( include soft-core porn in movies). I thought of sex as a normal private-personal act between two people. Not something that should be public and for everyone to see (sound really messed up; I know but thats just my opinion). Ok but going back at whetr it started. My friend knew I never had watched porn so he set up a prank and I fell into it. That first experience I FELT SUCH a disgust watching the video and a few months passed. Now you would think (It's a prank ; he didnt like it so he wouldnt go back and watch porn).
    Well.... before I continue let me tell you something. In the society I live in and I guess the friends I have (Almost all of them are PMO addicts), watching porn is considered to be normal and necesarry because it supposedly teaches you about sex and its a way to relax yourself and escape from reality.

    Ok but back at it . After a few months I strangely ended up looking up a porn video ( out of curiousity I think), just to see the effect of why so many people around me where watching porn and that curiousity I had turned into a addiction. I eventually started to masturbate and orgasm to it and at first it felt so nice and pleasurable.
    2011- 2013
    These were the heaviest and worst years of PMO for me. At thus time I was in high school and I associated a heavy PMO with a heavy Gaming addiction. Simutanously these were the most depressing, anti-social years I've suffered. Now I can relate to all those unhealthy devastating effects PMO has to those years. That feeling of emptyness, lack of motivation to chase dreams and live, the heavy social anxiety. My grades even dropped slightly but somehow i manage to finish my high school without problems. During these dark years I even had the chance to have a gf as a few girls even were asking me out. My brainfog during these years was so heavy it made me feel like a zombie without a brain.
    2014
    I started my university and had to move to another country. It benefitted me partly because in the beginning I had no internet connection. Somehow (Idk if it was by destiny) but I made new friends and guess what.... they were also porn addicts. So these group of friend would exchange their porn movies with me and I continued my terrible PMO streak. I remember that before each exam I had I needed to get off by watching Porn then M and then O ( After hours of studying). And so on it continued PMO'ing everyday. My brain fog and anxiety levels were sstill the same and all the other PMO related symptoms were there.
    2015- 2017
    These years were less heavy . By thus period of time it came to my consciousness that I had a problem and needed to fix it. So I put my own methods in which I planned myself. I would start by PMO'ing every 2 days then every 5 days then once a week and so on up until every 3 months. Truth be told i never reached 3 monthz as I relapsed continually. ALTHOUgh i never gave up and kept this up. The things I noted that when I was not PMOing i felt alot more energized, confident and determined. But somehow those urges I didnt manage to control them effectivily. I based most of my methods to stop PMOing on my own willpower.



    I will end my story here for today. I wrote this to help myself remember why I started this lifestyle. For those reading this I hope it inspires u to control your urges and to never give up. Keep up this golden lifestyle.
     
  2. ssha6451

    ssha6451 Fapstronaut

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    I also think growing your own will power involves challenging yourself.
    If you let your body it will go back to the path of least resistance (ie. What's easiest).
    Keep pushing yourself both with NoFap and other aspects of your life. And your willpower will become even stronger.

    Funnily I got into porn the same way. I was just curious and then it became a bad habit.
    Eventually it became a way to cope with the bad things in my life and my family problems.
    I realised a few years ago that I'd rather live with the pain of the truth then to live a false happiness fuelled by porn.

    Onwards
     
    R3dFlY likes this.
  3. R3dFlY

    R3dFlY Fapstronaut

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    Im happy to see and find someone who can relate to my story. I totally agree with you. Challenging yourself is growing your willpower. It is all about your willpower as it is the foundation of the reality you live in.
     

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