saddist_adult
Fapstronaut
It was about a couple months ago, i was dealing with huge stress and almost the urge to PMO, i went on YouTube watching a girl masturbating without showing nudity parts , frame is cropped only showing their facial expressions and moaning since YouTube policies anyways... It was probably the stupidest thing i ever did... Later on it was slippers slopped, i stopped now... But i remembered about i used to find a girl sucking on cucumber on YouTube and watching the nastiest one that her mouth watering looked like cums in her mouth... Now I'm tripping thinking about it.... Was doing just fine until i remembered all these...
Since my general anxiety been getting worsen, and loneliness is chokehold on my soul... I do not think i can continue with nofap anymore... I'm grateful for the beneficial i gained from doing nofap for years due to hardcore PMO addiction, it changed my life completely but about the recently incidents... I could not deny more or deluded myself into whether it's a slip or relapse...
Good things never happened to me, i spend my adulthood unhappy, boring, emotional pains, being excluded, abandoned, shame, pathetic, self sabotaging, friendless and everyone hate me, and I'm always the problem.... It's a clear sign to me that I'm probably just cursed with loneliness and unlucky. So overall if those incidents consider relapse.... then I'm giving up... I'm done trying to change my life, I'm done want to create a better future, I'm done seeking meaningful life and genuine intimacy...
I was always a failure, weak, loser... Fought myself for years to rebuild my mentality... It's just been up a bit now it went completely down hil... I won't try to change my life anymore, i had enough of pains...
Since my general anxiety been getting worsen, and loneliness is chokehold on my soul... I do not think i can continue with nofap anymore... I'm grateful for the beneficial i gained from doing nofap for years due to hardcore PMO addiction, it changed my life completely but about the recently incidents... I could not deny more or deluded myself into whether it's a slip or relapse...
Good things never happened to me, i spend my adulthood unhappy, boring, emotional pains, being excluded, abandoned, shame, pathetic, self sabotaging, friendless and everyone hate me, and I'm always the problem.... It's a clear sign to me that I'm probably just cursed with loneliness and unlucky. So overall if those incidents consider relapse.... then I'm giving up... I'm done trying to change my life, I'm done want to create a better future, I'm done seeking meaningful life and genuine intimacy...
I was always a failure, weak, loser... Fought myself for years to rebuild my mentality... It's just been up a bit now it went completely down hil... I won't try to change my life anymore, i had enough of pains...
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