GUILT, Shame, WHY?!?!

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by Deleted Account, Nov 9, 2016.

  1. I honestly don't want to quit masturbating. Because it isn't that bad and the high is great. It just makes me feel down when i feel this huge guilt and shame after i've masturbated for no apparent reason. I am just looking for tips here. What do you think is the solution? How to replace the thoughts of guilt and shame to positive and encouraging? Because in the end everything can be overdosed but doing to relieve pressure and not feeling guilt or shame about it, that is my ultimate goal here.
     
  2. Everything is good upto limit, even masturbation is, persons on nofap are those who are addicted to this, millions of people are living normal life with PMO having in a limit, there is nothing bad in masturbation, its natural, you are not harming others, so there is nothing to feel guilt.
    If you can control your PMO its good, but sticking to it will not be good.
    Its your choice whether or not give-up masturbation, but there are seveal things in world that are not bad and their high is also great.
    In my opinion you should quit masturbation, and try other things in your life,
    "the only thing permanent in this world is change"
    change your life, its an addiction, may be you could feel more better with anything else than porn, relapsing feels good, but everything comes at a cost even the enjoyment you are feeling durimg PMO comes from somewhere in your body, so its upto you whether you want to change yourself or stick to it.........
     
  3. Yeah man i guess you are right. There is probably some deep wiring in our bodies that makes us feel this way. Because it's not like i am thinking that when i masturbate. I've been here before 2 years ago and then i quit, lived my life. Now i am back again, this time i am gonna try doing it more proper. I don't know how it will go honestly i am scared because i've come to day 17 before and at that time i just wanted to masturbate because i felt so empty i wanted to feel something. And that feeling comes everytime and compells me to masturbate. All the other shit around it is horrible too, the subtle shaking, not being able to sleep properly, fuck i guess it's kind of an addiction even if i don't do it too often. It will still be at least 2-4 times a week. Yeah i guess it's an addiction. How do i deal with it? I don't even know, i've set up this goal now to New Year. Do you have any tips?
     
  4. mcrcvrng

    mcrcvrng Fapstronaut

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    Keep in mind it isn't just masturbation, there's a big psychological component with porn and where people are at least objectifying sex, at worse indulging in some extreme fetishes.

    Consider this thought experiment: What if someone was blind, how are they aroused? A lot of this is through the visual sense. Sure maybe even then there's the voice, but actually my point is our senses can be hijacked. If you think about it a while, it would take much longer to hear someone talking about sex even when they try their best voice, but visuals are immediate. A picture is worth a thousand words and it takes a long time to speak a thousand words. And of course we're not talking about a still image, we're most likely talking about videos with audio.

    The whole issue is our minds have been hijacked. While sex, including masturbation is natural it becomes bound up with the image we get from porn. It does come to a point where you look at regular porn and see how fake it is and how stupid it is, but that seems to be the point where people start looking at more extreme stuff. This does become an issue in real relationships, and that's what we all actually want.

    If you've ever seen the movie Enter The Dragon, there's a scene where Bruce Lee tells this other guy who just broke a piece of wood in mid air "boards don't hit back." It's sort of like that with sex and porn - porn will not touch you back like a real person would, and not necessarily just physically. You of course touch yourself in masturbation, and although there is an instinctual response it becomes dull. The answer is not more extreme "variety" of porn fetishes, it's to live in real life to connect with real people.
     
    JL94 likes this.
  5. There's no reason to look at porn or fap. It's useless material and unnecessary behavior. You don't "have" to relieve pressure. That's nothing but a bs excuse you've accepted to continue fapping. You probably already know this though which could be contributing to the shame and guilt you're feeling.
     
    Low likes this.
  6. Shevro Nickell

    Shevro Nickell Fapstronaut

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    Of course when u hav quit PMO, for several days u may hav numb feeling bcuz d brain is so used to d excitation dat is caused by Porn n masturbation. Serotonin chemical is responsible for dis. Sudden depletion in dat chemical leads to disinterest in daily activities, but believe me its for only few days!! Afterwards it will really feel great. I dont know if other ppl feel d same for several days later on quiting but for me, it always happen. In d initial days i wud feel unmotivated to do anything but later on start feeling great, confident and better.
     
  7. Quiver

    Quiver Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    I can relate to that
     
  8. Man it's day 1 and i wanna do more shit and get out. I want to read and feel good. Still it's so weird because it still bothers me it's just images and audio. Why does it have such a huge effect? I mean after i've watched a fun video on youtube it's also images and audio but it doesn't make me feel guilt or shame in anyway and then i laugh and that should also release this dopamin chemical. I know that porn isn't healthy but i am still struggling with the big question why? I haven't found my true why. Because i am quite social as a person and i don't let that affect me but still on some unconscious level it does and that's what i don't understand and need to understand in order to completely quit. That will be my motivation to continue in harder times.
     
  9. It's because porn is 100% degrading to human beings who are more than just body parts. We have personalities, hopes, dreams, imaginations, and souls! Porn focuses on none of these things. Porn doesn't show too much of a person, it shows far too little! People who love each other don't reduce each other to base levels. They don't assign each other value based on carnal pleasure! People who do always have failed relationships because the thing they value most about another person is the one thing that could be replaced by anyone else. Yet when you love someone you do so because their personhood/personality is attractive. Your personality can never be replaced by another person because it's what makes you, you! Sex with love is what bonds personalities together and, god willing, leads to the creation of a new unique personality; a child. That's the purpose of sex for human beings! If you deviate at all from it then you're going to feel guilt and shame because you've abused something that is suppose to create a pricesless beauty in this world, and you've abused it solely for your own selfish pleasure.

    You want to know why masturbation brings you guilt and shame even though animals do it? It's because unlike animals you have reason! With reason you can challenge your instincts and master your passions! You're dignity is found in self mastery. We know this because anytime we see someone give up this dignity and act like an animal we have a natural aversion towards that person. We know and are disgusted when we see someone willfully lower themselves to the level of an animal like a drunkard who can't walk, talk, or process thought. That is why you feel guilt and shame when you tug your shit, because you willfully reduced yourself to the level of a beast that can't say no to their carnal instincts.
     
  10. Dziki007

    Dziki007 Fapstronaut

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    Maybe try this visualisation. Imagine yourself out of your body like you was seeing from outside in the corner of the room. You see guy whos furiosly smashing his dick to some metal machine where couple have sex, while they reaching orgasm you ejaculate your precious beneficiall fluid on your stiff soock, how do you feel? When i think about it now i feel disgusted, beta, looser, not worthy man.

    We werent supposed to fapping to some fake scenes and waste our semen which is damn precious and beneficial to our body. We supposed to make love with women and if we dont just hold that energy and benefit from it.

    Semen retention is powerful thing man, from many resources it said that it has plenty benefits. From my experience im on 10 days no fapp / no porn and im already feel more energized, confident, vigorous, stronger, no brain fog and clearer thinking.
     
    Last edited: Nov 10, 2016
  11. so not masturbating is a REAL change. not just a minor thing. it is life altering!!!!! just a thought I had. if it's so life altering. it can not be an easy habit to change!
     
  12. I guess you're right we actually do have reason and can abstain from pleasure. I just didn't think that much about it. It does feel pretty degrading when i think myself outside and looking at the person masturbating his dick to cum to a screen of two other people having sex. In someway you are right Roger That and Dziki007 it's normal for me to feel guilt and shame considering that porn doesn't focus on us as persons but more on the penetration of a woman. But i think it's more because of the feeling of loneliness i mean sure porn is degrading perhaps and yeah perhaps i did give in for the pleasure of masturbating like animals do. But for the most part the shame and guilt i believe for me comes after i've ejaculated like when i realize that i am still alone in my room and there is no one there to comfort me. Bottom down i just don't want to be alone.
     

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