Guy confuses me. What should I do?

Just Rose

Just Rose

Distinguished Fapstronaut
So I've just dated this guy once. We've appointed 3 times, he has not come two if them because in one his brother had an epileptic episode and in the other he had a car accident and his friend broke one arm and several ribs. At least that's what he says. He doesn't have a cellphone number and I didn't ask for his address because I thought it was too soon, but not finding him in 4 days causes me too much stress. He's asking me for another chance, but I'm not giving it at least until August because I'm moving and perhaps I come back to university in August, not sure. Honestly I'm pretty tired and I don't know what to do. I'm so confused, I hate this dating thing, it's so fuckingly tiring. I guess I'll tell him I'm busy always, but at the same time I feel weird. I don't know what the hell to do.
 
Doesn't have a cellphone number??? Sounds odd in 2019 but hey. I had a similar situation with a girl who twice cancelled the dates due to "health" issues. I decided not persue further on pure principle that I would never reschedule a date TWICE. If the person is flaking constantly then chances are they're just not into you.

How did the first date go? Did the guy seem interested in you?
 
It’s certainly possible that this guy had these two bad events happen coincidentally when you had a date scheduled. But it sounds suspicious. I’d say your decision should depend on how much you already know about him. If he is an otherwise great guy then it might be worth a third attempt. If you don’t know much about him then it might not be worth your time learning more.
 
BlueBalls said:
Doesn't have a cellphone number??? Sounds odd in 2019 but hey. I had a similar situation with a girl who twice cancelled the dates due to "health" issues. I decided not persue further on pure principle that I would never reschedule a date TWICE. If the person is flaking constantly then chances are they're just not into you.

How did the first date go? Did the guy seem interested in you?
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The first date was ok but he was upset because he forgot my department number so he couldn't find me in 20 min, and he was upset with mom, when it was his fault! I think he is interested in me but that's not always the only thing to consider. I have had people in my life that were interested in me as a toy to hurt and that always was there for them. So that might be the case.
 
Eleanor said:
The first date was ok but he was upset because he forgot my department number so he couldn't find me in 20 min, and he was upset with mom, when it was his fault! I think he is interested in me but that's not always the only thing to consider. I have had people in my life that were interested in me as a toy to hurt and that always was there for them. So that might be the case.
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Also, mom told me he was upset when she asked him to leave because we were going to mass. It was 7 pm, what he expected, to stay overnight? He didn't thank mom for his stance, even though she payed our food because I had very little money and he didn't brought any "because he lost it at a friend's house", and he was "inviting", mom payed and he didn't say thanks.
 
LavaMe said:
It’s certainly possible that this guy had these two bad events happen coincidentally when you had a date scheduled. But it sounds suspicious. I’d say your decision should depend on how much you already know about him. If he is an otherwise great guy then it might be worth a third attempt. If you don’t know much about him then it might not be worth your time learning more.
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I don't know much, and I don't want to know more, we can talk hours without boring, but if he doesn't respect my time and always minimises my feelings and I send like a huge paragraph on how I feel and he just answers "I'm sorry, it's ok, I love you". That freaks me a bit.
 
elevate said:
Tell him to prove his commitment and interest by buying a cellphone and calling you. Tell him to make the effort if he really wants to see you.
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He said he would. I blocked him up in Facebook, if he cares he will buy one, he has my number. Also, he had my number, why not calling from a public phone outside the hospital? Maybe that way I wouldn't have been waiting 5 hours like a stupid, all dress and with makeup in my living room. And the first one was worse because I waited like a stupid 1 hour in the street.
 
Thanks guys for your replies, I really appreciate it. I said I wanted no more and blocked him up in Facebook, erased my account along with messenger and well, I feel sad and angry but it's not that bad. All my friends and mom hate him by now. And I'm not tolerating any more humiliation on my life. Anyway if he calls I will say no, if he comes mom will say no. It's over :(
 
Eleanor said:
Thanks guys for your replies, I really appreciate it. I said I wanted no more and blocked him up in Facebook, erased my account along with messenger and well, I feel sad and angry but it's not that bad. All my friends and mom hate him by now. And I'm not tolerating any more humiliation on my life. Anyway if he calls I will say no, if he comes mom will say no. It's over :(
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You're better off. He seems like a creep and a liar. Good for you for standing up yourself, though! It took me a long time to realize that I shouldn't feel bad for doing what's best for me and that what I want/need matters too.
 
Eleanor said:
Thanks guys for your replies, I really appreciate it. I said I wanted no more and blocked him up in Facebook, erased my account along with messenger and well, I feel sad and angry but it's not that bad. All my friends and mom hate him by now. And I'm not tolerating any more humiliation on my life. Anyway if he calls I will say no, if he comes mom will say no. It's over :(
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Cool you deserve to be happy. There are plenty of good guys so don't sweat about it.
 
Sorry to say this. But he's a complete snowflake, and masking the fact he's not willing to commit - or he's actually masking up his fear of commitment. He's been making you an option, and not a priority. Especially when it comes to investing time (and energy) for you.

You have no obligation to respond to his calls anyway, Eleanor. With the way he's treated you, you have more reason not to answer his calls. There are better guys out there. I know you deserve better, and I'm sure you do too.
 
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I have to say the same. The behaviour you described is really off, particularly the no money thing. That's addict talk right there. Strength to you in moving on.
 
I am usually a committed underdog supporter... but, you are dealing with university age guys. Full of testastarone, and options. Right ? If so very few look in that demographic expect or look for commitment.... if you are, I’d suggest you increase the age range you are considering.

The whole point of dating is rather mindless anyways—- it’s to find options without committing to them. Tindering or dating is not designed for commitment or courtship.

Unless the culture you are dealing with is fairly traditional, university age adults are the most unstable you can find.
 
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You know best what is good for you, my advice is to not take advice from friends, family or anyone becouse some people are haters, they dont want to see others happy and they will give you wrong advice

I dont know why you guys take everything so seriously, it was just a date, it is not atomic bomb
 
Girls usually have more options.

Try to get to the gym, become hotter and a better guy will pop up out of the blue and have genuine interest.

;)
 
Eleanor said:
Also, mom told me he was upset when she asked him to leave because we were going to mass. It was 7 pm, what he expected, to stay overnight? He didn't thank mom for his stance, even though she payed our food because I had very little money and he didn't brought any "because he lost it at a friend's house", and he was "inviting", mom payed and he didn't say thanks.
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He sounds like NO GOOD!! You don't need garbage in your life. He may just attract more garbage.
 
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