Guys I F*cked my life up

What has happened has happened, University exams are not the end of the world, Cheer up! You might get straight As and not find a job, or get straight As, find the perfect job then be screwed over some other way. That's life you just do your best, if you mess-up you try again.

BTW I can only imagine that your parents disappointment and grief would be multiplied if you took your life.
If you happen to fail, just admit your mistake, be honest about it and don't blame anyone else, and try again. You have a long life ahead of you bro.

 

Take a breath, little buddy. As long as you're alive, there is hope. You can always go back to the beginning and do better the next time.

I know that you are freaking out now. I'm not making light of that.

 

Don't kill yourself over this. Don't try to hide it either though-- it's going to get messy when they're expecting you to graduate on time and relatives start flying in for the ceremony. This happens all the time.

Get ahead of that mess, now. Just tell them you messed up and offer to make it right-- offer to repay the tuition for this semester. They'll yell at you and it will suck, but they'll be less disappointed at having to pay another few thousand dollars for another semester's tuition than they will having wasted five figures to get you this far and losing a child in the process.

 

This is not worth taking your life over, think it over. It's an exam, or several but life is so much more. You are ending the possibility to do anything, travel, family, love, all for a test? Even if you would drop out of Uni I am sure your parents would not hate you or love you less. They are your parents. Life is greater than studying and exams, please reconsider.

 

Don't do that, nothing good will come from for anyone. Try flipping the roles in your mind, you are the parent. What would you want your child to do in this situation? Everything can be resolved, this will even make you a stronger wiser person. Everyone will screw up at some point even the most successful people in the world, it is part of life. Even if you parents are really mad its ok, it will pass and you will go on to do great things. You have your whole life ahead of you, zoom out and look at the bigger picture. Take care of yourself young man, never give up. You are loved and needed more than you know.

 

I was also betting my exams or death toll. Looking at my past that was stupid, there were plenty of other paths.

 

Do you think they would feel better if you took your own life? By the sound of things, they wouldn't. Like others have said this isn't the end of the world. One thing you might find helpful is Elizabeth Day's podcast How To Fail, she talks to public figures about the times they've failed and what they've learnt from them. She also wrote a book on the subject which you might be interested in.

 

If you are thinking of taking your life because of the disappointment you may cause you're parents then I think you should let yourself off the hook a bit. They are not your responsibility, and if it all hinges on your exam results for them then they could do with loving you for who you are. Ok yes you've F*CKED up but you're on here making moves to better your life and I'm proud of that. I've had all the academic success in the world and it's not made me happy per se but growing and getting healthier mentally and physically has so keep going with that. Far too much pressure on exams these days and not enough developing talent and character.

 

I failed my 4th year in university and it initially felt like my heart crawled from my chest and hit the floor. It was that empty feeling where you filled your empty tank to the fullest only to reach out for your wallet and fimd its not there. I went through stress and aversion for months afterwards.

But I came out of that experience stronger than I ever was. I hit rock bottom so I had nothing to fear. Because its that feeling where you feel alive when you have nothing to lose.

Watch Fight Club. Be badass and dont care too much what others think. Accept failure and then later put failure where it deserves when you get yiur next chance.

Chin up buddy. You can get through this.

 

I know there are families who take studying seriously. I remember my mother had a good friend and she would always say that her son couldn't do anything else before homework was done. I was literally like that's way too harsh. Always did mine after dinner.


But hey man to be to hard on your self allot of other kids, teenagers, adults, deal with this stress. It's not just you..

Think if your in Japanese university. That's literally all you do, some places in the world that's all you do is focus on studies. But people can get full time jobs out side of a commitment and it's what usually happens. Anything you do should be successful to them, you tried.

 

There are very few things in life that fuck up your life to the point where you can’t undo them or make up for them later. Failure does happen and disappointing others is something you will do thousands or millions of times in your life. It is a part of the human experience that we all deal with throughout our life.

I had similar thoughts when I was your age and thankfully I didn’t act on them. I’m successful by most standards in my life, but I still feel like a failure and disappoint others. I try to keep my disappointments and failures from being the kind that I can’t undo over time.

 

Sorry to say this, but you’re gonna fail at stuff. Everyone on here (including me) have failed multiple times in multiple areas.

But just because you failed at something doesn’t mean you’re a failure. Failing at stuff is the most effective, most realistic, and most down-to-earth teacher you could have, so long as you choose to learn from your failures. Soccer, basketball, baseball, golf, and rugby players make a tonne of money for failing 60%+ of the time. Entrepreneurs fail as well. Other professions fail often. That big name person in any category your thinking about—they’ve failed.

But more on you specifically: look into your university’s policies on grades. Many allow you to make up credits in undergraduate classes if you fail them or get a bad grade, and they allow up to a certain number of credits to be dropped from your transcript if you retake them.

 

Did you not study because you were twisting the torpedo? Scrubbing the lubber? Doing the devil’s solo dance?

 

Sounds like we learned something?

As my colleagues claim, this isn’t a catastrophic event. It could be a setback, or it could change your life trajectory, but it did not permanently make your life worse. It does say something about your priorities, impulse control, and time management skills.

I’ve gotten distracted from doing what I was supposed to by reading, or playing video games. Same problems, prioritization, impulse control, time management. Video games, though, don’t tend to be as addictive as porn. They don’t seem to alter your perception of reality the way porn does. They don’t corrode mental health, at least for me, the way porn does.

My recommendation is to use this life event as a wake up call. The benefits you are getting from porn do not even come close to matching the detrimental effects. If you make the effort to quit, and build a streak where you can consistently stay off for a few weeks to months, I think you’ll find porn has been affecting more than your impulse control and time management. I’m not promising “superpowers,” just a better life.

 

He's a kid. Everything he does is going to change his life.

@Meshuga Not disagreeing with your statement.

@Emordem Just be honest with yourself, and be honest with your parents. Your parents just want to know that you are facing the truth and taking responsibility for your actions.