I have explained many times before guys how I got rid of my smart phone, tv and every device I could access the internet on except my laptop. I have an extremely good blocking system on my laptop that's at the point I basically can't see any porn or artifical sexual stimulation. I can't see anything that causes me to relapse. I am not the adminstrator on my laptop, and I store the impossible to remember off by heart 30 digit code password in another location a mile away from where I live. But recently I have discovered how I can store this password on my own laptop, and have it blocked on a type of timer. So after the timer runs out I can then access this password again. Changing the time or date doesn't work to bypass this either. But I have to admit guys. Two weeks ago I really got to the stage I was sick of all of this. I was sick of constantly being obsessed with pornfree and nofap. I actually somewhat blame some of it on comments from a few guys on this who made me think that I had no hope of healing from porn addiction or PIED if I couldn't get an insanely long streak of no PMO. It somewhat put me in to a mindset where I thought there is no point in trying anymore. I think it was between being so bored out my mind in this lockdown, being so sick of being constantly obsessed with pornfree and nofap, and then also thinking there is basically no hope of me recovering, all of those things together just made me think f*ck this, and I went and got the 30 digit symbol password a mile away from where I live, and for the last 2 weeks exactly I have spent a lot of my time PMOing. This is the longest I have went PMOing again since I began trying pornfree and nofap. I will tell you how I have felt and what I have experience over the last two weeks of PMOing everyday. So when I first got on the porn and artifical sexual stimulation again after about a 3 week streak I did find it extremely exciting. I went in to a heavy edging binging session that lasted a few days. I actually got really sore heads from this and felt unwell from this. But what I noticed is the heavier I PMOed at first the more it naturally decreased. I began to not find it all that exciting. So my behavoir for the majority of the two weeks changed to PMOing once or twice a day, rather than going in to heavy PMO binges. These heavy PMO binges only seems to happen in the beggining. Another thing I noticed is certain porn induced fetishes I used to have don't seem to be as powerful as they used to be. I developed a severe femdom fetish. But I noticed this fetish was no where near as severe. I did still have it a bit though. But what I noticed is I was getting much more turned on at the thought of having sex with women much more than the femdom fetish. This didn't used to be the case with me. My behavoir over the last 2 weeks has really changed. Over the last 2 weeks I have hardly left the house to go out walks ext, I have hardly went out and worked in the garden. Usualy I go out long walks everyday and work in the garden a lot of days. Before over the last 2 weeks I have hardly done any of these things at all. I have become very lazy to the point I feel like I have no energy and just want to lay about all day. But the thing is I haven't actually felt bad from this, I have actually quite enjoyed it. I usually have issues with severe ocd, severe obsessions and severe social anxiety. But over the last 2 weeks I have hardly had any ocd or obsessions, and I haven't noticed the social anxiety as I haven't seen anyone anyway. Over the past 2 weeks of not doing as much, being more lazy and PMOing everyday I have actually felt happier? I guess I do feel somewhat numbed in a way. Which I guess I do sort of like. But tomorrow is the start of a new month, and I have decided that's it, I am going to strart trying at pornfree and nofap again. I am going to block my laptop up again and try to get a long streak of no porn and artifical sexual stimulation. I think what somewhat worries me though is if I am actually more unhappy from doing this? I am also worried if the severe ocd and obsessions come back from doing this? It's quite an awful scenario to feel much worse mentally, and to feel much unhappier in your life when your staying away from porn and artifical sexual stimulation.